Hendo - Feel like crying!

[TeaPlzx]

Hi! First thread here. I'm (F/29) attending a close friends hen do, there's 9 of us staying in a large, swanky cottage (pool, hot tub, sauna, etc.) The bedrooms are made up of multiple king size/double rooms and there's one small room with a bunk bed (designed for kids) and pull-out single (mattress on the floor). I can't express how different this room is to the others, imagine an empty room, with tiny kids bunks and a mattress, that's the extent of it. No wardrobe, no cosy lighting, etc.

Each person has paid approx. £300 for a 2 night stay, including a stripper at the venue and food. Alcohol will have to be purchased separately...
Everyone has been placed in double/king sized rooms (some are sharing, but others not), all with ensuits, however, I've been assigned (without discussion) the small room on my own, without bathroom (will use the "family" shared bathroom). I feel this anger, that I'm paying the same as everyone else, they're all in 5* luxury beds with their own bathrooms and I'm on a pull-out style frame/matress on the floor.

I'm most frustrated that it wasn't even discussed with me, just assigned/assumed I'd take that room. I've briefly raised it with the organiser and she's stated she offered the largest rooms to those sharing (mostly siblings/mums with daughters) and the other two people who aren't sharing (like me), one is pregnant and the other is mother of the stag. Am I unreasonable to still feel upset and not want to be in the tiny bedroom with mattress on the floor? If she feels too embarrassed to allocate that room to MIL, or to herself even, why should I be in there?
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I'm feeling VERY bitter about it al.

Surely the organiser gets a bit of credit for the organising and gets a decent room?!

It's fairly entitled to think the OP deserves one of the luxury rooms whilst paying the same as the organiser, being a less good friend to the hen (as she isn't a bridesmaid) and has had all the agro of organising a load of women to go away for a weekend.

Sounds similar to house we stayed in for a friend's 40th.
Gorgeous huge old vicarage with 8 bedrooms; everyone paid £350 for the weekend.

Due to work commitments we were last to arrive on the Friday evening by which time everyone else had nabbed their plush, ensuite boudoirs.
We ended up in a small attic room with twin beds and communal bathroom on a different floor!

Was furious that no prior discussion was held as to how rooms would be allocated or at least a discounted rate for our room.
Didn't raise it at the time but vowed never to make the same mistake again!

I'd happily take a slightly less good room and not have to share ! YABU. Also you'll have the family bathroom yourself. I'd be more pissed off at having to share.

Her reasoning makes sense. To be honest if I was you and I knew that was the make up of the group I would have offered to take that room. It should have been a discussion though and you definitely shouldn't be paying the same as everyone else.

Why not sleep on the bunk bed? That pull out bed is going to be marginally smaller than the bunk. Why choose to sleep on that?

@bravelittletiger it depends on the organiser.

For me, the organiser is the host, so its just good manners not to put someone in a room you wouldn't want to use yourself. If I was hosting I'd give myself the 'worst' room, not assume I deserved better, because that's no way to treat your guests. You want everyone to be happy. Hierarchy of friendships is a bit "to hell with the little people" snotty, the people on the outside of a group need to feel more included and welcome, not less. The organiser does the work and tries to make sure everyone enjoys the event, not lord it over everyone.

But that's just me, we're all different.

@Jackiewoo that's fair enough. To be honest I wouldn't put myself in the best room because I wouldn't want the inevitable sideways glances that I'd favoured myself. I do however understand when people put themselves in the better rooms when they've done the hard work. Having organised hen dos in the past it is truly a thankless task. It's a lot more fun just being a guest.

In my world, the person who does all the hard work to organise an event gets a decent room. Without them the event wouldn't happen and they will have spent hours sorting everything out. No way would I rock up to an event and expect to get the best room when I have contributed nothing to organising everything.

@TeaPlzx as the birds best friend who's super ose to her Mom and Sisters, perhaps you should have offered to organise it?

It all makes sense. Except it doesn’t at all.the cost some are paying to be on their own and then the same as those sharing is rediculous.
but I can see her reasons behind it.but yeh,not the price your still having to pay. But due to the above silly pricing I don’t no how you can or should change it as to make it fair a lot of the other prices would need to change too!
make sure you have a double duvet.that surprisingly better when you have a smaller bed.
have the others said anything about it?
can you post a link tot the accommodations?if it’s public rental we could come across it on a site anyway.
is this room maybe meant to be a store or dog room? And the owners have just put beds in for more guest options.

Which series of Real Housewives is this? 🤣

Is no-one going to mention the stripper? That’s usually a dealbreaker on MN?

I agree!!!

I can’t understand why ABSOLUTELY NOBODY has mentioned the stripper yet. What is wrong with you people?

🤦🏼‍♀️

The stripper has been mentioned quite a few times

Perfectly explained! I have to agree with this post sorry OP 😞

Appreciate all the responses.
With ref to above break-down on pricing, it's not really about the cost. It's more principle and lack of communication that's bothered me and porbably the unhelpful response when I did reach out. However, I do understand these things are difficult to organise and it's impossible to keep everyone happy.
Really, my options are: let this bother me and spoil the whole weekend, or embrace having my own space and hope the dog bed 😜is at least comfy.
I have no intentions of allowing the entire weekend to be shat upon by this and me choosing not to go (as I've mentioned) is simply out of the question, I wouldn't do that to my friend.

Think I just needed a space to vent. Life's too short, bigger problems in the world, I'll get over my crappy bedroom... at least I'll have room on the bunk for the sexy santa stripper, whom you all clearly love the idea of... 🎅

I think this is the best attitude to have. Are you driving there? Can you take things to make it a little more comfortable?

Is the bride paying a lot for her wedding do you know?

I mean she could probably have paid for this hen weekend herself...

It should have been agreed before any room allocation that whoever has the small room pays less. You have been treated shabbily.

Urgh such a frustrating thread, you’re just going to take being shat on.

Can you send a message to the group chat, with a picture of the mattress/bed you are expected to sleep in and just casually ask if anyone is up for sharing so you don't end up on the floor

I agree the organiser has pulled a fast one here and must have known about the shitty room when they made the booking - they should have let everyone know that this small room would have to be used by someone and then drawn names to make it fair

I hope it doesn't spoil your weekend @TeaPlzx

Would you have liked to see more drama cookiesbeforepookies? Personally I think OP is being sensible and getting her priorities right.

😆 me too.

I don't see it this way.

Others have made valid points that, although yes, my room is considerably less "luxurious" and my sleeping options are questionable, compared to the king-size master bedrooms, many others are sharing those rooms (only preggo and MIL aren't sharing). If I request some money back (which I'd find a bit cringe and petty), others could easily do the same.

The other option is asking someone to swap rooms with me, which even if they said yes, would potentially make for an uncomfortable vibe (they may feel pressured to say yes but not want to) and I don't think it's reasonable for someone else to be forced into that room either.

I could request my money back and refuse to go at all, but this would make me really sad, I'd feel I'm missing out on what would otherwise be a fun weekend and it would probably cause tension between my friend and I.

Alternatively, I accept the room I have. I pinch a lamp from someone else to make a cosy vibe. I have multipe duvets and pillows to choose from. I'll be able to make calls in peace, I can go to bed whenever I like without being disturbed by a roomie, I can wake up when it suits me, I can dance about my room naked if I so wish. Putting myself in a postivie mindset will also set me up for a more enjoyable weekend with my friends. Being miserable and bitter about it is going to ruin the time for me and possibly other.

In hindsight, do I wish the organiser had spoken with me first? Yes. Was her communication (or lack of) poor? Yes. Can I change those things? No.

I still dont understand why you can't share with the pregnant friend. She doesn't need a king for her belly.