Hendo - Feel like crying!

[TeaPlzx]

Hi! First thread here. I'm (F/29) attending a close friends hen do, there's 9 of us staying in a large, swanky cottage (pool, hot tub, sauna, etc.) The bedrooms are made up of multiple king size/double rooms and there's one small room with a bunk bed (designed for kids) and pull-out single (mattress on the floor). I can't express how different this room is to the others, imagine an empty room, with tiny kids bunks and a mattress, that's the extent of it. No wardrobe, no cosy lighting, etc.

Each person has paid approx. £300 for a 2 night stay, including a stripper at the venue and food. Alcohol will have to be purchased separately...
Everyone has been placed in double/king sized rooms (some are sharing, but others not), all with ensuits, however, I've been assigned (without discussion) the small room on my own, without bathroom (will use the "family" shared bathroom). I feel this anger, that I'm paying the same as everyone else, they're all in 5* luxury beds with their own bathrooms and I'm on a pull-out style frame/matress on the floor.

I'm most frustrated that it wasn't even discussed with me, just assigned/assumed I'd take that room. I've briefly raised it with the organiser and she's stated she offered the largest rooms to those sharing (mostly siblings/mums with daughters) and the other two people who aren't sharing (like me), one is pregnant and the other is mother of the stag. Am I unreasonable to still feel upset and not want to be in the tiny bedroom with mattress on the floor? If she feels too embarrassed to allocate that room to MIL, or to herself even, why should I be in there?
I'm really not sure where to go from here, but I'm feeling VERY bitter about it al.

I would definitely rather be in any type of room on my own than share a bed with someone I didn't know well. Some people are paying £300 to share. I would just go along with it all for the sake of my friend.
The organiser seems to be making a mess of this. There are only 9 people of mixed ages.
The bride's daughter and the organiser's daughter are probably quite young. If the bride is old enough to have a daughter suitable to take to the hen do her DM and MIL are likely to be at least 60. Having a stripper to entertain that group sounds very cringy!
I wouldn't be looking forward to this at all but if my friend was important to me, I would go and be glad I had my own space to retreat to.

Honestly, I'd rather have my own space although paying the same is annoying.
On this occasion I'd probably suck it up as I'd hate to share a room, bed & ensuite!

I think the issue here is not necessarily the room! I could suck that up but I think it should have been spoken about earlier so you knew.

I think it's hilarious that the op has started a thread about the room and ignored the stripper. I didn't even know that was something people still did and would personally be my deal breaker here.

similar to others, I'd much rather have a room to myself, even with single beds, than share a double. If they all have ensuites then you will get priority over the family bathroom. Can you pull the mattress off the top bunk and put it on top of the pull out single, turning the bottom bunk into a double?

Ideally if I were organising I would say the different options in a group chat upfront but offering different payment options would have been ridiculous.

If you had been given all the options up front would you have been happy to share with someone? Because if not and the only alternative is the 2 individual doubles, why do you think you deserve one of the 2 best rooms, above the bride, the person who has put in all the effort organising it, someone who is pregnant/a woman who I assume is a good 20-30 years older than you?

Surely most adults would not want to share a double bed with anyone bar a partner. I probably could just about cops if it was my sister, maybe mother but not a friend if it can be avoided.

So all the sharers have it worse than you.

I would agree no one to use family bathroom bar you, apart from during day that all are up and before getting ready for evening (or not without asking you first)

This!

I would much rather have a room to myself than share a bed with someone who might snore/fart/grind teeth/steal covers etc...

You'd pull out of a whole hen do (of a GOOD FRIEND) because of this? While I would offer to have the smaller room because I wouldn't give a shit where I slept.

Strip the approx costs back of what £300 covers per person:
£60 food
£25 stripper
£30 accessories/goody bag type things/decorations

Then the venue:
Split your 48 hours into time spent in living areas/kitchen, and time in bed........

Living areas 32 hours (67%)
Bed 16 hrs (33%)

£185 approx venue costs per person
Living areas £124 (67%)
Bed £61 (33%)

If you thought you should have been offered lets say 20% off.....you're arguing the toss over £12!! You surely wouldn't expect a discount on any of the above that has nothing to do with the sleeping arrangement??

I'd be embarrassed 😳

But they're not all sharers. That's where its unfair. Some have the kingsize to themselves

I'd embrace the room, and be thank full you don't have to share. Take over the family bathroom with your stuff, gather extra pillows, great lighting, table for your suitcase. Borrow stuff from around the rental, creating a table, even in just your end of the corridor for kettle & tea. Pack a lovely robe to swan around in.
No one can hear you snoring in your wing!

Actually having looked at the rooms, I think you now have a point.

Those with the solo luxury rooms should be paying £50 more so you get £100 off the price.
Although I'd still rather have your room than share a bed.

I once shared a room with a stranger on a girls weekend away ... woke up at 6am for a wee to find her sat in the corner, fully showered and dressed, reading a book .... her bed was made and her pyjamas were folded neatly on her pillow.

They couldn't have put two less suitable people in one room to be honest.

suited not suitable but you get the gist ....

I don’t see what you can do without it being ‘TeaPlzx’ is causing problems, maybe wait until you get there and suggest putting that trundle bed into the pregnant guests room?

OP,

You have definitely been given the short straw.

Could you ring the hotel directly and ask they move a more comfortable mattress into your room?

It's not a hotel

@MustBeTrueThen I completely agree with you. And I like your costing summary, which is just about bang on.

I think her reasoning behind it makes a lot of sense but only on the basis that you pay less , I’m so childish I would ask for my money back and not go if they didn’t discount my price tho

But 2 sharing are paying £300 each. To share a bed.
At least OP gets a room to herself

You’re not there yet? Then plenty of time to sort out as it’s been badly done - the people sharing a king room shouldn’t each be paying £300 either.

Id suggest you split the total cost by bedroom on a sliding scale of space/facilities.

Love this idea

If the OP pays less then others are going to have to pay more which will undoubtedly cause more problems. The sharers may want to pay less than those with their own room for example. Personally at this stage I'd just go with the flow and make the best of it. Perhaps suggest you contribute less to the alcohol?

OP

I just wouldn't go. Pull out now before you've paid.
With friends like yours who needs frenemies....

Might it be worth asking the group if there's anyone who'd rather have a single bed than share with someone else, even for a less nice room? I'd probably take someone up on that as I'd find it quite hard to share a bed with someone I don't usually share with, and I'm easily woken by snoring.

Sorry not read every post @TeaPlzx but are you sure it’s 5*? The price does not suggest this so maybe other rooms are not as grand as you might think?

Anyway, I can see no malice in your friend’s arrangement. She should have booked somewhere more suited to the whole group though so nobody is getting second best.

If she’s a good friend I’d go, be lighthearted and jokey about your room (‘wow, I seem to have been allocated the presidential suite! No you can’t see it, it’s all for me!) and just be good natured about it.