...to ask what my wife's thought process is, in this situation?

[WalkingOnTheCracks]

Married twenty years. Pretty early on I mentioned that I don't like v-neck jumpers. I mean, it's not a huge deal. It wasn't mentioned in the wedding speeches. It's not something I felt I had to get straight even before we got serious. It's just one of those things that comes up at some point, and it came up within the first year or so, I guess.

But every couple of years, my wife will buy me a v-neck jumper for Christmas. I open it and I don't need to say anything, because she gets in first.

"I know it's a v-neck, but it's such a lovely blue!"

"I know you don't like v-necks, but it's cashmere!"

"...it's just perfect for your eye colour."

"...I thought you could wear it to Sally and Mike's next week."

"...it's from Harrods!"

They always end up being taken back.

But - leaving aside the question of why I don't like v-necks, which I think I'm allowed - what I'm interested to know is what she's thinking when she buys them. Does she think, "Well, this one's just irresistible. Even WoTC will love this." Or does she just think that my aversion to v-necks is a passing phase? Or not worthy of consideration?

She doesn't like sarongs. If I persisted in the attempt to buy her a sarong every other Christmas, there'd be ructions.

Why does she keep at it?

Maybe buy her a dress up Ken Doll so that way when she feels the urge to dress something up, she can do that rather than pretend you are a life sized dress up doll?

My guess? She is not all that happy with the clothes you wear and wants you to smarten up a bit (or fit whatever idea she has in her head about what the perfect man should wear).

You need to address it with her head on, and tell her you actually find it upsetting that she buys you something you have explicitly told her you dislike, and how would she feel if you bought her a sarong, etc.

Dad is that you

My mum's like this. She knows better than all of us and genuinely thinks we're just stubborn or unenlightened when it comes to a difference of opinion. She's not so bad with me as I'm blunt but my dad has had years of it because he won't put her back in her box.

You know how you’re supposed to feed kiddos a new good about 10 times before they will know it enough to like it…..I reckon your wife is trying that method.

Also, it might just be that she thinks you’ll look hot in it and is trying to help you update your wardrobe a bit.

With a nice shirt underneath, what is it that you’re not keen on when it comes to v-necks?
My dh is kind of the same with round necks - he much prefers v-necks 😂

Arghhh, no edit button!
a new FOOD

Has to be said…LTB 🙂

Genuinely think she finds v necks very attractive and wants to see you in one (my DH wears them- I love it when he does with a smart shirt). Must admit I would get pissed off if he got me roll necks etc that I hate . Does she get you other things as well?

Maybe she has a limited imagination on the presents front and is hoping that if she can con you into accepting a v neck jumper, she can then start buying you a succession of ties you also don’t want to go with it 🤣.

As the question's been asked....

To be honest, I don't like jumpers much in any form. Roll-necks, for instance, are maddeningly itchy.

But v-necks, to me, smack of school uniform. They make me feel like I should also be wearing grey elasticated shorts, and I mustn't forget to take home my papier-mache giraffe.

And there's nothing you can wear with it. Open-neck shirt? You look like the sort of irritatingly cheerful bloke whose ambition is to become head honcho of the Neighbourhood Watch. T-shirt? A member of the Undertones, circa 1979. Shirt buttoned and a tie? Probably spends a lot of time in the attic gluing and painting Airfix models of steam engines.

Yes, this is an absolutely subjective set of prejudices, and I'm not asking anyone else to adopt them. I just want not to take part in the whole v-neck thing at all.

Your wife thinks you're a fixer upper. You need changing.

There's lots of people like this.

Is it only restricted to jumpers? Have other imperfections been ironed out over the years?

The mind boggles. What do you wear? Cardigans? 🤣

Do you keep wearing your jumpers back to front? Maybe she thinks it will make this less likely to happen?
I think you should buy your wife this wonderous dress from Boden for Christmas.

Not cardigans, no. No, no, no.

I think cardigans are a bad gene that skips a generation. My dad wears them. My son wears them. Me, I'd rather freeze to death.

Maybe he just layers up on shirts until he reaches the thickness of a jumper. Like a human gobstopper. Though I’m not sure why his wife would try and change that, I think I’d quite like it, it’d make my husband undressing very interesting.

And now we’ve gone from a Winnie the Pooh sex game to a pass the parcel sex game!

The answer, @WalkingOnTheCracks, is that she wants to borrow keep it so is actually buying herself a present, not you.

Maybe it’s the abject terror of your imminent demise from hypothermia that forces her to do it. Her reflex action is to grab a warm looking jumper for you and sometimes, by fluke, it’s a v neck.

And what the fuck is that dress about?

I used to like Boden in the 2000s. How things have changed.

Maybe buy her a dress up Ken Doll so that way when she feels the urge to dress something up, she can do that rather than pretend you are a life sized dress up doll?

I saw some trashy feature recently about this new life-sized husband doll that somebody has 'invented' to cuddle up with - except, for some reason I can't quite fathom, it has a monkey's head rather than a man's one.

Get her one of those, put every single v-neck she's ever given you on it (might end up looking like the Michelin man-monkey) and then go off down the pub

Are you taking the piss out of that dress?

I genuinely like it! (Goes off to google Boden)

I have no idea of your wife's thought processes and have not read the entire thread, so apologies if I get it wrong. I'm assuming you're a man.

V necks seem female to me. I have no idea why. Cricket jumpers are V necked and cricket's a manly game ... so not logical.

If you're a woman - maybe you decided years ago V necks don't suit you.

Either way she should listen to you.

Oh my God that dress is £220! Not at that price!

Simple, she buys present quite expensive (cashmere), knowing it’s going back. Pockets the refund or buys cheaper present.

Your wife does not listen to you, pure and simple. I've had 40 years of reminding my DH that I am allergic to every metal apart from gold when it comes to earrings. What do I get bought every xmas or birthday?? Yet another pair of stainless steel or rhodium earrings, purely because of the tiny sticker saying 'hypoallergenic'. Whenever I ask why he's done it again, the reply is... 'I thought you said you were allergic to gold'.

After 40 years of this I now just say nothing and pass the earrings to friends and relatives who can wear them.

That dress is terrible. It makes the models breasts look like a bum.

@hennaoj , OP's DW would need the hosiery and footwear to go with it.