AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

Well you're putting your baby to sleep at midnight.

Not everyone wants to stay up until midnight.

My kids had an 8pm bedtime until their teens.

Babies need a lot of sleep 0-3 months need 14-17 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period.
Toddlers need around 11-14 hours
School age around 9-12 hours

Kids needing a lot of sleep plus parents are tired is why

I can't help sorry, wish I knew where to find them but I got the opposite. 3 years in and I've tried it all he wakes regardless of what I do but he's out of warranty so I can't return the little toad...

Good luck in the future op when your child starts nursery and going to bed on their own and at midnight will no longer work . My babies went to bed about 7pm and stayed there till 6am with a few night feeds in between. They soon got used to day / night and within 4 month , we had them in a great routine . Every child is different tho , but putting them to bed at midnight is crackers .

I can remember being out to bed in the light. Cosy times

From 3 months DS would do 7.30-6, now 10 months he does 6-7 through sheer luck. Ds2 is on his way and I very my doubt this will happen again!

3 months 🤣🤣🤣

I don't blame her. Some really bitchy comments on here.
Like the new girl at school being bullied.
To all the posters laughing and sneering at the OP, how would you feel if that was your daughter.

I think we’re the same person 🥴. Is there such a thing as a 3 year sleep regression?!?

The OP was basically sneering at fellow parents and their entire post is basically "I am so much cleverer than everyone else"

I'd tell her that you can't teach your grandma to suck eggs and it's bad manners to rock up somewhere with your limited experience and start pontificating. I'd tell her she should learn from this.

I've always joked that mine never had a sleep regression as to regress in sleep you first need to bloody sleep...

Wait until you have a 15yo, you can't get them to wake up before noon🤣

Very strange post.

You've put kids in the title and I assumed you'd be talking about kids of 3+. Really had to laugh when I read your child is 3 months.

How long are you expecting to put your child to bed at midnight for? Until age 1? 3? 6??

You do realise that once your child starts nursery and then school they need a good night's seelp or they will be a nightmare!

Also at 3 months I'm sure your baby mostly lays there nice and quietly in the evenings but won't you and your partner want a bit of alone time in the evening when they get a bit older?

Or are you planning on having a glass of wine and watching Netflix with your toddler?

3 whole months of parenting and you know everything already OP

well done

and good luck 😂

It's about how much sleep they need at this stage. Generally they need that 12 hours so if your day needs to start at 7am ish then you need to start bed around then. Otherwise you end up waking them too early and knocking them off sleep

Pretty much this, except some kids just don’t sleep for 12 hours. Only one of mine did so they had an early bedtime, the rest we had to go on how long they did actually sleep for and then work backwards from when we wanted them up. We much preferred to lose our ‘adult night’ rather than have them wake up at stupid o’clock but all kids and households are different.

My almost 3 year old wakes before 6 no matter what time he goes to bed. Last night he did 5.30 till 5.30 with small wake up at 1am for a wee. The other night he went to sleep at 10.30 and was wide awake at 5.45. Where possible, I'd rather at least have an evening if we're gonna be up early anyway.

Toddler DD goes to bed at 6pm, and is awake at 6:30am. If I didn't have those 5+ hours in the evening, nothing would get done.

Also at some point your child will attend nursery or school who won’t appreciate a child who goes to bed at midnight! Personally I felt robbed if my child didn’t sleep 12 hours at night, 8 would have been a grumpy child. I’ve got 3 and 7pm has always been their bedtime.

I read this as 3 years originally and thought.. wait until the poor little sod starts education .. but 3 months!
Possibly being a teeny bit goady OP??

Oh dear op.

My first was a great sleeper. So was no2. I thought it was all about my great parenting. Then I got no3.

My firstborn DD would nap 2 hours an ihe day and was sleeping 7-7 at 3 months. I used to give her a dream feed at around 11pm. How smug I was, thinking I'd cracked it. When DS came along, he refused naps and would wake every 2 hours until he was 1! Babies are different and it has nothing to do with your parenting skills.

I did a 6-630pm bedtime for years. The kids didn't wake up till about 7am. It meant I got an evening too. Yabu to assume that early bedtimes don't work ever, based on your own limited experience.

Lol. Got any tips on potty training as you know it all?!

Funny how op hasn't returned to continue telling us how to parent.

Actually, according to guidelines, a 3 month old is needing 14-17 hours sleep a day . under 6 months the NHS guides state they should spend twice as much time sleeping than awake .

the Brian needs sleep to forge neurological pathways- that’s why babies, and arguably teenagers (who go through another brain development spurt) need a lot of sleep more than say an adult or pre teen child

if the posters baby is having 8 hours solid due to being put to bed late at night, then she needs to find the other 6-9 hours during the day

The reason people put babies to bed at 6;30 is so they get the majority of 12 hours of that during night time. Yes they wake during that, but it helps to establish a Diurnal pattern.