AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

Let us know if your way is still working in a few weeks babies sleep patterns change all the time!

Also should a 3 month old be going 8 hours with out a feed?

I was lucky that both mine were a little more flexible so once they started nursery, I was able to bring them home, feed them and keep them up. For both of them (especially when they dropped their last nap) there were times when I was singing in the car to stop them dropping off to sleep, or having to jiggle a grumpy baby at 6pm while cooking the dinner. But over time they both adjusted to the schedule that worked best for us all (including them IMO).

Love it when someone with 12 weeks of parenting experience tries to tell seasoned parents what to do.

My first child went to bed at 6pm, because she was tired! She slept for a solid 12 hours from 3 months old (so I laugh in the face of your paltry 8 hours!) As well as having a 3 hour nap in the day. Easy peasy this parenting malarkey though I.

I then had my second, okay, he was more of a challenge. But mostly in bed by 7.30pm, maybe one wake up around 2.30am, and a quick feed had him back to bed and asleep till 6am.

Along came number 3. Fuck me, all ideas of a routine went out the window and I spent almost 2 years surviving on broken two hour slots of sleep.

Are you honestly suggesting that when your child is 4, you'd be putting them to bed at midnight so that they dont wake you up too early? They'll have school !!

I done Gina Ford’s contented baby routine 7pm to 7am and it worked for my oldest.

when my twins were born a year later (still doing Gina Ford) I flexed the timings for my twins and they done 6:30pm-6:30am.

Personally having the baby up late doesn’t suit me. And means when I returned to work they were well into a routine already.

@Tomorrowisalatterday

I have two 8am-ers here 🙋🏼‍♀️

My kids nursery and school is on our street, a 4 minute walk away, and right next to the train station. Breakfast is served at nursery so we wake up at 8am and pretty much get dressed and head straight there. I’m studying in the evenings at the moment anyway so it doesn’t make a difference but when I was working I didn’t have a 9-5 Monday to Friday job anyway so it would have still worked even if it wasn’t so convenient for me .

Same here. I went back to work and these timings also meant nothing changed in the mornings. Never had a problem with overnight sleep.

We are a later bedtime household. I have always preferred to lose my evening than to get up at 4 or 5am. It doesn't mean my kids get any less sleep, they're doing the same as all the others but just shifted by a couple of hours. I usually feel like the only one in the world who does it like that though as most other people tend to prefer child-free evenings. That's perfectly fine if that's what you want, but with the majority of kids I don't think you can't have both unfortunately.

Everyone has already said this, but just to highlight again…

You’re the expert? After… 3 months?

Give me strength!

Unless you want to get up very early or have a job where you can start very late most people can't have six hours with their child in the morning. I had six hours with mine in the evening so having an hour in the morning wouldn't have seemed great to me.

'I work full time. My LO (15m) gets up at 8am, reads a book whilst eating his breakfast'

That's very precocious!

Because that certain parent wants to get wasted and chill out. I however let me kids stay up till late in the summer and 8 or 9 in winter. In summer we're out on a walk at 8 o'clock and they absolutely love it. Poor kids in bed at 6 in summer missing out on life outside

??

They don't miss out on outside time because they go to bed earlier. They have outside time earlier on.. weird post

Actually I just wanted to have a bath in peace. I've never felt the need to take toddlers out for walks at 8 o'clock at night 🙄

Kids needs a certain amount of sleep. You need to figure out the magic number which is enough and then try and make them have that amount at the time that suits your family best. At the moment mine need 10-11 hours, we need to be out the door at 8:30 and they take forever to eat breakfast and get dressed. This means upstairs for 7:30 and asleep by 8.

I literally gave birth to myself. He is a night person who hates to sleep early and never wants to get up. He has been like this since day one and at 3 he is still like this. Problem is I’m now knackered at 9 but this little one wants to party until 11pm. Doesn’t matter what I do he isn’t having any of it. Wish my luck everyone 😢

My DC goes to bed at 6.45am on school nights, they're 7. Has to be up at 6.15am though so I wouldn't say that's an early night really.

God I hope you post a new thread when the regression starts, sleep regression is such a fun phase and then the teething and then the clocks will change again and then probably another tooth then you’ll get the injections. You’re blatantly an obnoxious first time parent. Goodluck :D

Every baby does go through it, some are more affected than others.

Just LOL. Good one OP!

And the 12 month..15 month..the teething…and because they just don’t fucking want to sleep 😂

Ah yes, I remember the 'how can you keep your child/ren up so late, you're going to make them ill'/'a competent mother would have them in bed and asleep at a reasonable hour like I do/did - sound asleep at 5.45pm'.

'OK, so seeing as I won't be walking in through the front door with them until 6.15pm, what would you suggest?'

'Give up work so you can put your children first'.

'Not gonna happen, as we kind of like having a roof over our heads and food to eat. But the littlest is usually asleep before nine and the older one by nine thirty, then they get up at 7.20. Which is still an improvement upon the eldest, as she only started sleeping more than an hour at time when she was 6 and will still snap wide awake if I even think of opening one eye in the next bedroom. Does wonders for my pelvic floor, having to hold it in until a reasonable time to avoid having her company from 2am. Did yours actually sleep that long?'

'Oh, yes, they slept all night, only waking at 7.10 - 8.24, 8.37, 9.25, 11.10, 1.34, 2.27 and then up for breakfast by 3.15am, then they'd have another nap between 7 and 7.30am. that's a full 14 hours.'

Sad the OP didn't bother to return

“And we coslept and I slept without a top on all night so they could breastfeed whenever they wanted but the self weaned and moved out in to their own room at age 8”

@girlmom21 not to me, no. It’s just context.