AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

I don't remember 3 months, but when they start sleeping through properly you should aim for 10-12 hours sleep. My DS goes down at 7 for 6.30 wake up, which works for us.

I gave my most confident parenting advice before I had kids.

By the time my second was born I knew far less than I was sure I did before my first pregnancy.

I still remember telling my sister I'd never allow my child to do ... whatever it was her child was doing at the time. I can't remember.

Boy did she enjoy reminding me of that a couple of years later when mine were doing the exact same thing 🤣

Wait until they are a mental toddler. You won’t be able to wait to get the little sod into bed 😅

I was having quite a stressful morning, just sat down to have a cuppa and little perusal of mumsnet and my goodness I am feeling better for reading this thread. Thank you OP, genuinely haven't laughed this hard in quite a while.

Reminded me of when I became a mum for the first time; after 4 weeks of age I was able to put my newborn in his cot at 6pm and he wouldn't wake till 6 -630am! I was so happy and proud of myself....like the smug first time mum I was, I couldn't help but boast about this! What was everyone else doing wrong? How were people tired? Haha oh no not me! My baby would sleep for 12 hours straight with not so much as a peep out of him. Plus he slept a good four hours over the day split into two naps. WHAT A BREEZE!!!

Well, let me tell you, he turned 5 months and it was game over. Started teething and my god did he not sleep! Every 40 minutes he woke up like clock work, screaming in pain. This continued till he got all of his teeth. Lesson learnt. Lol. Good luck OP, wishing you well.

😂 well, I’m pretty sure that this thread is a wind up, as the OP appears to have vanished. But I’m kind of on board with her. It makes sense to make sure that your child is going to get their uninterrupted sleep for as long as possible, while you are trying to sleep yourself.
But each to their own, if you’re work doesn’t allow that, or you prefer to have you’re “baby free” time while you relax in the evening, or while you get older children ready for school, then that’s your choice.

Mmm dont think you can advise with one 3 month old child about bedtime routines :P

My kids go to bath at 6, in bed etwee 7-8 and asleep from 7-9 and wake up 5-7 in the morning. I dont mind I wake up between 4-5 myself. No everyone complains :)

All three month babies sleep well. You may be incredibly embarrassed about this post next month.

I'm upset that I can't insist that the OP must update us over the next 8 years at regular intervals on how her expert views are going

😂😂😂

Oh my god I still cringe at all the unsolicited advice I used to give my best friend when she was moaning about her two kids. I was childless and she wasn't asking for advice lol. I literally want to punch myself when I think back on it 😂

DN had a baby the same time I had my youngest. Her child slept all night and was one of those rare beasts that barely wanted picking up. She thought it was down to her amazing parenting skills.
Fast forward 16 years and she has a completely out of control sixteen year old because she failed to actively parent him. By the time she realised he was going off the rails it was too late.
Please come back in a few years to this thread and tell us all how it's going. Even if you think you're right, you'd be wise to keep quiet until your child is at least eighteen.

People want an evening to themselves so they put the kids to bed as early as possible.

i know someone who put their 3 year old to bed at 6-6.30 everynight, but then complained when they were up at 4am every morning.

mine are 10 and 5 and are asleep for between 9-9.30, they wake at 7am on a school night and around 8.30 at the weekends.

17 pages of replies but the OP has only posted once!! 🤷‍♀️😂😂 Either the Daily Mail are on the hunt for more parenting stories or the OP is too scared to reply. Absolutely pointless, stupid thread as EVERY baby is different.

I kinda get what you mean. I put my 3 year old and 2 year old to bed at 8pm so they sleep in until 8am .

As newborns they always went to bed very late .

Last year when my oldest dropped all his naps , he was passing out for the night around 6:30pm . He physically couldn’t stay up later . He was also awake earlier which was annoying . Now he’s much better at staying up . Some parents don’t have a choice .
I know plenty of parents who like early bed times because they get the evening to themselves. Also some kids might need to wake up early anyway to go to a child minder or similar so might as well put them to bed earlier.

Every family will do what works for them !

My LG used to go to bed at 10/11pm when she was 3 months old too because that's a natural bedtime for them at that age. She is now 4 and goes to bed at 7pm sometimes 7.30pm and wakes around 7am (same as my DD2 who is 19 months old) I don't think 7pm is an early bedtime for children of that age. If they stayed up any longer they would be over tired and struggle to fall asleep. Although I will say with both my two they go through phases sometimes of waking earlier than normal, sometimes waking in the night for several nights and sometimes refusing to go to sleep or needing extra support to sleep. Not sure if your post is referring to children of my twos age though but I'm sure in a year or so your LO will be needing a much earlier bedtime.

May be she had a bad night with her lo

That's quite a broad observation,and not all 3 month olds sleep well lol!

Nope,they do not 😴😂

Yeah sadly this is inaccurate. As is the phrase it gets better as they get older... 😴

The comments on this thread are toxic as f**k.

🙏🤞we have just hit 4 months .........😴😴😴

No words just 😆😆😆😆😆😆

MW told us in first days to do exactly the to get milk supply sorted- MIL was aghast as she though babies should never be woken but it was needed.

However she also tried to insist that at 3 months DH was going 8 hours without a feed - FIL was very upset turns out he and extended family were doing night feeds to hep her recover - horrific birth - and as she hadn't done them had forgotten this in decades since.

I really wish my baby could have read that chart 😊

That's exactly how I feel.
I cringe myself inside out! I was such a pillock.