DD with granny all day without lunch

[VCO]

I am a mother of a 3 year old that since she started eating she's not the kind of toddler that will eat anywhere, at any time, any kind of food. Routine is the key to get her to have proper meals. She's quite good at nursery as she seats with her little mates and she follows their example. Today she spent the whole day with her granny. From previous experiences I decided to prepare a lunch box and snacks for the afternoon as I know she wouldn't bother cooking her a decent meal. Sure enough she came back at the end of the day with her lunch still in the bag, all the snacks were gone and a bag of sweets that her G bought were there, half gone. She texted saying she didn't touch her pasta (that just happens she didn't even bother warming it up and put it on a plate!) She said she can't force her to eat when I mentioned she should have fed her before leaving to the park as she likes to eat at the table and the food needed to be warmed up (basic I know... I wonder how she had two kids of her own!) Can't blame my daughter not feeling keen on eating cold pasta straight from a Tupperware! She had cucumber and biscottis her Granny said... She left at 11am coming home at 5pm! I am flabbergasted, DD was happy when she got home but starving! As a responsible adult, wouldn't u make sure your granddaughter would have more during the day rather than sweets and cucumber?! AIBU?

YABU if it was a childminder and you were paying them then you could insist things are done a certain way.
im just eternally grateful my mum looks after my children sometimes, she doesn’t need to do it. And the fact I'm standing here as and happy healthy adult means I don’t fret about what they’ve ate, drank and grandmas. They come back happy and that’s all I care about.

Cold pasta is surely a normal toddler favourite?

She can't force food down DD's throat. Yabu.

Cold pasta! The horror!

My grandson can be a bit like this - he hardly ever eats at my house, just 'picky' stuff - hardly ever a meal. He won't even eat cereal here even though he does at home every morning. I've copied meals my DD makes for him, but it goes untouched - he'll pick at 'beige' food but that's about it!

I've seen videos of him at home walloping a Sunday dinner no bother - here he'd eat the carrots at the most then leave the rest. The kid lives off toast and bananas at my house 🙄

He's on the pathway for an ASD assessment though so I assume it's something to do with routine rather than the actual foods.

I'd be really pissed if my DD implied he didn't eat at my house because I was a lazy arsehole

Colour me shocked. The OP has not returned to the thread.

I was prepared to side with granny. But. It is reasonable to hope that a grandmother would heat up the pasta for her grandchild. And that a grandmother would automatically provide somewhat healthy food and a proper amount of food for grandchild in a 6 hour period.

Grandmother acting like an 11 year old who was put in charge of a toddler and didn’t know what to do and didn’t care.

I usually would go the other way on these polls, but I think what posters are not understanding is that you are generally concerned that your daughter isn’t eating enough as it is, the grandmother is aware of that yet didn’t care enough to help.

Why are you leaving your daughter with this woman when you know she's not being taken care of properly? You complain about the way she's not getting her lunch and yet you leave her there again.
''She can't be bothered to cook her a decent meal.'
Why are you putting your daughter through this?

She doesn't eat cannelloni cold and she was not offered, she was asked if she wanted her lunch. This is not a one time situation, therefore I bothered making her lunch, just to stay inside her bag. Her nanny knows her habits and knows she eats if the food is in front of her so my question is why taking her out banging on lunchtime without caring about lunch. It's a bad habit I dont want her to have. Thinking that at nanny's is just snacks and sweets. And BTW nanny was the one asking to spend time with her was not a favor done to us parents

You're being unreasonable.

Pasta salad in the park is a fine lunch. You have to be somewhat easy going if you leave kids with family and other unpaid care.

You do sound like a really good mum though if that's any consolation!

So just don’t let her go then 🙄

How do you know she took her out bang on lunchtime?

As a 'favour'

Just ban her from going so she can eat lovingly warmed up pasta on a plate at the table, at home.

It's a bad habit I dont want her to have.

Don't leave her there then! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is 'nanny' MIL?

Of course it's MIL

It must be the MIL. Woe betide when the child starts nursery or school and they have their lunch at really random early times!

@MysteryBelle the grandmother gave the food and snacks the OP provided- if it's not healthy then that's on the mother.

You are being really silly about this. DD presumably had a nice day and having had breakfast and evening meal at home, was completely fine. I'd have just whacked the pasta in the microwave when she got home and given it to her for tea. There is zero issue here unless you choose to create one.

Of course it's MIL

Yep! Glad I only had DDs - least if my DD has a (UR) problem with the way I care for my DGS I can tell her to piss off and get over herself, I don't have to kiss her arse when she's being a dick!

Yes - the part where I say give it to the child - as in ensure that the child eats the food provided

It's always helpful when someone has your child! Honestly, my kids had the most random concoctions at my parents house. I certainly didn't bitch about it! My mil would give them lucazade as a drink when they were toddlers. Everyone survived! Get over it and decide if this is worth arguing over. My kids had the best time with mil. They still ask for lucazade since we lost her 2 years ago.

I just couldn't see myself getting vexed about this. You're overreacting, behaving really oddly by going on about cold pasta in tupperware then backtracking saying that she wasn't offered she was asked. You're clearly just gunning for "nanny" in this instance.

Let's be honest OP, you just don't like your MIL, which is fine - you don't have to (I can't stand mine ) but try to not let those feelings get in the way of her relationship with your DD. Your DDs bond with her extended family is far more important than whether her pasta was warmed up or not.

Your little girl has a DGM who loves her, wants to spend time with her and takes her to the park, how lovely!

My ds is so fussy. My mum has him in the week and is such a massive help childcare wise. I make sure he has a proper breakfast and proper dinner... if he skips lunch and snacks all day inbetween what I feed him- well it is what it is... it certainly won't hurt every now and then. I wouldn't worry too much OP. Your daughters had a nice day by the sounds of it.