DD with granny all day without lunch

[VCO]

I am a mother of a 3 year old that since she started eating she's not the kind of toddler that will eat anywhere, at any time, any kind of food. Routine is the key to get her to have proper meals. She's quite good at nursery as she seats with her little mates and she follows their example. Today she spent the whole day with her granny. From previous experiences I decided to prepare a lunch box and snacks for the afternoon as I know she wouldn't bother cooking her a decent meal. Sure enough she came back at the end of the day with her lunch still in the bag, all the snacks were gone and a bag of sweets that her G bought were there, half gone. She texted saying she didn't touch her pasta (that just happens she didn't even bother warming it up and put it on a plate!) She said she can't force her to eat when I mentioned she should have fed her before leaving to the park as she likes to eat at the table and the food needed to be warmed up (basic I know... I wonder how she had two kids of her own!) Can't blame my daughter not feeling keen on eating cold pasta straight from a Tupperware! She had cucumber and biscottis her Granny said... She left at 11am coming home at 5pm! I am flabbergasted, DD was happy when she got home but starving! As a responsible adult, wouldn't u make sure your granddaughter would have more during the day rather than sweets and cucumber?! AIBU?

Who wants reheated pasta? Get a grip OP. The bairn snacked and one day doesn't hurt. If you want hot meals at a certain time at the table. Then keep her home. She hasn't starved.

I’d remind her before she goes next time, give specific instructions if you want her to eat a certain way. Pasta in a lunchbox is often eaten cold, so I can see why she didn’t automatically heat it. Perhaps advise her to provide the hot pasta on a plate first, without seeing the other stuff in the lunchbox as she’s going to automatically skip to desert or nicer stuff

Well this depends doesn’t it. Was it a one off or a regular thing?

YABU and very precious. She was offered food and didnt eat it. Shes fine and happy.

This

Wild guess but is this your mil? Such a crappy way to talk about someone who helped you out all day…. I actually find it hard to read these types of posts , no grandparent here has had any of ours for 5 mins….. Probably best for your dc not to be minded by her grandparent, they can always spend time with them with you or your dh around too so you can make sure they are fed properly.

Is this your MIL, OP? It sounds as if you don't communicate with her very well.

Is this the first time that your daughter has spent time with her granny?

I agree.
Unless this is a 5 day a week childcare arrangement it really doesn’t matter enough for anyone to be having a drama about it.
She had enough food to keep her happy and that’ll do for a once in a while type thing.
Even a once or twice week type thing.
I’ve found it very interesting to see how much softer my mum is with her grandchildren than she was with me. She is not their mother or being paid. Sometimes that means she gives in more easily than j would have thought!!

Get a grip, it was a few hours. She will be ok. She had a nice day with her grandma. You sound like you dont your MIL OP. Youll find nay fault you can with your MIL

YABU.

You know she's a fussy eater that thrives on routine, yet you changed her routine and are complaining she didn't eat?

Can’t see any problem, it’s only few hours and she had snacks. If kids are hungry and want to eat they will

Oh dear @VCO I am cringing for you. This thread is not going well for you is it? YABVU obviously. 'Granny' looked after YOUR child pretty much all day, and you sound really ungrateful and miserable and entitled. I am also wondering if it's your mother, or mother-in-law. I doubt you'll be back to tell us though, after the (understandable) negative responses on this thread.

Many nursery packed lunches are cold pasta in a Tupperware container. I don’t think it’s unusual?

More fool Granny really if she wants to care for a hungry child; my three-year-old’s hanger is something to behold

I love pasta cold or hot I buy the twirly one.

You know that your little girl isn't keen on eating out of routine but you expect her to eat out of routine?

Exactly.

When I have my DGD (just 3) for the day, she rarely eats much, even if I cook her favourite things or her mum has sent favoured stuff with her. I don't know why. She loves coming to mine (I sometimes wonder if she doesn't want to take a break from all the fun, to eat).

When you have a toddler for one off days here and there, it's impossible to insititute a specific 'eating at Grandma's' routine. And forcing a GC to eat is just going to end in tears. Mine loves her special chair etc, but she changes so fast, that if I tried one routine, it wouldn't work for her six weeks later.

Mercifully my DD understands completely, and if I say that DGD hasn't eaten much, she just cheerfully says that she'll fill her up when they get home.

Grandparenting is very different from parenting. It just is. Treating her in the same way that I did my own daughters just isn't possible, because she's not here all the time, and the consistency just isn't there, and can't be. The important thing is that my DGD loves spending the day here and goes home happy and full of stuff to tell her parents.

I'd just be grateful you have that level of childcare that your DD is looked after all day by Granny!

and the food needed to be warmed up (basic I know... I wonder how she had two kids of her own!)

Fucking hell. Talk about dramatic! What on earth is wrong with some cold pasta?

From previous experiences I decided to prepare a lunch box and snacks for the afternoon as I know she wouldn't bother cooking her a decent meal

Sounds as if there is a lot of back story. Maybe don’t let her go to your MIL for the day if you don’t think she’s going to do things well enough.

In itself, nothing you’ve written is that shocking. I’d have assumed the pasta was to be served cold too- that’s more normal than reheating cooked pasta, which always goes a bit grim.

Did your DD enjoy her time with her Granny? If so, I wouldn't worry about the pasta.

This is not a big deal.

Could be worse my ex mil left her son in charge of his own daughter for a couple of house daughter asked dad for food dad was nonplussed girlfriend was equally puzzled offered her sweets she said thank you what's for food his younger brother tried intervening she is asking for lunch she is hungry your going to have to feed her eventually he rang his mum who brought back a happy meal and dumped her back with me hungry tired and with rabbit shit on her socks (I found this when I took her trainers off) and he wondered why I didn't trust him to watch her 🙄🤐

Next time send sandwiches or cold food she likes along with written instructions maybe pictures

I would say that unless u are paying for the child are u have not got cause to voice ur annoyance.

A Granny here OP - sigh.
We do our best. Some slightly snide comments, guessing this is your MIL.

an adult’s job is to offer the food, which she did. It’s not her fault you have turned snacks and treats into a forbidden fancy for your dd - if you relaxed more and treat all food equally she won’t be trying to scoff sweets the seconds your back is turned.