Assault at school - need objective opinions

[BecauseICan22]

My DC is in Yr10 at school. There was an incident in the school lunch hall where my DC and her best friend were assaulted. This began with the throwing of food and then escalated to them both having empty water and fizzy drink bottles thrown at them, one of which caught my DC in the face and also her friend who ended up injured and had to go to the hospital. My DC was sore but nothing serious. The lunch hall was absolutely full and not one person spoke up and some people were even handing bottles back to the boys in question so they could keep throwing them.

It has also transpired that the boys in question have been targeting my DC in her classes (she shares quite a few with them) and saying things to her about 'sucking dick', 'grabbing tits' etc - all being said to her and about her. She said this has made her feel dirty.

The school have sanctioned some of the boys and the othes have been allowed back into lessons, 1 of which is with my DC where she sits next to him and she had to be in that lesson with him today. The schools response is he didn't actually do anything and he was merely a witness.

My heart is breaking for my DC but also for her lovely friend and all the other children that have to go through this shit at school.

I am going to make a police report and I'll be talking with her head of year on Monday. I have no issue with her teachers, they work hard and try their best - it's certain disgusting students that are at fault. This all happened yesterday and so I'm not really sure what to do next.
Can anyone advise?
Offer insight?
I want to do more than talk to the school and go to the police. I want to empower the quiet kids to speak up, to understand they don't have to put up with this and to make it so that the voices of the victims are louder than the voices of the perpetrators. But how?

My DC said to me tonight that she's become numb to the sexualised commentary and behaviours - it's just how it is. This kills me.

I would teach her some funny one liners and put downs, get her some self defense lessons and teach her power stance and how to appear confident. It’s important she learns to stand her ground and be assertive. Also to be in a group as much as possible.

She just needs to get the better of them a few times and they will back off

God no way - just shift schools in the end. These boys never change. If you know the parents chances are it will be as plain as day that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Tell the head teacher you won't stop till it's resolved fully.
Got to the police and make a complaint of assaults.
Write to the school Governers and detail the lack of action.
Write to ALL OF THE NEWSPAPERS.
Make giant posters and protest at the school reception.
Make fliers and post them through the doors.
Tell everyone on Twitter.

Be a Problem. Misbehave. Don't be afraid.

That is awful, your poor DD! I don’t have any advice but I think you are 100% doing the right thing by contacting the police

Agree with Yo. I would be incandescent. Your lovely Dd and those other girls 😔😔.

Those in the porn industry should have this on their conscience. Lovely young girls just trying to learn being degraded and abused by boys empowered by what they see women as online. Makes me want to weep. I went to a mixed comp it wasn’t perfect but the boys were not like this.

If a workplace had this and every meeting a female had to hear those lines it would last

I don’t know if any schools have successfully tackled it but there should be more talk re how to resolve it beyond everyone’s invited which highlights the problems

The school are just having to deal with the shitty parenting given to these boys. They should all have been suspended.

They should be expelled end of. That would get the message across.

I'm so sorry OP. Please ring OFSTED and complain that there is a lapse in safeguarding. It should hopefully trigger questions being asked as to how effective management is.

Or email/ring the governors themselves. Bypass the principal completely as they have already shown they are incompetent. Governors of the school will act.

These are positive actions. They aren't mistakes or banter.

You would however be amazed at the number of parents who say that boys who do this don't mean it.

Yes they do. These parents can't face it. Be prepared to move your daughter if it as bad as you say.

It's the school culture, which is the lowest denominator. You want a school with some standards

Have you reported all of this to the school governors OP? Your DDshpuld not have to put up with this.

Did your DD end up reporting to the police?
Don't let this lie. Utter bastards.

It feels like you are purposely blowing this up OP.

Calling the police would achieve nothing, it’s actually slightly concerning you think that’s even an appropriate route to take.

This is playground bullying, not assault.

What you could channel your energy into is maybe developing some resilience and confidence in your DD so this pretty tame behaviour is easier for her to deal with in the moment

My boys go to one of the schools named in the Everyone’s invited website. It’s boys only but they interact with a local girls school. They reported some matters to the police and I am confident if they heard about behaviours as described, those boys would be suspended or excluded. Certainly if it was in the workplace it would be termination.

your poor DD. That’s repulsive snd she is being utterly failed by the school.

Not sure if this is useful, but the Keeping Children Safe in Education Statutory Guidance for schools (2022) talks specifically about your DDs experience. It states:

' It is essential that all staff understand the importance of challenging inappropriate
behaviours between children, many of which are listed below, that are abusive in nature.
Downplaying certain behaviours, for example dismissing sexual harassment as “just banter”, “just having a laugh”, “part of growing up” or “boys being boys” can lead to a culture of unacceptable behaviours, an unsafe environment for children and in worst case scenarios a culture that normalises abuse leading to children accepting it as normal and not coming forward to report it.'

Here's a link to the KCSIE guidance

www.gov.uk/government/publications/keeping-children-safe-in-education--2

The school has a statutory duty to respond to these behaviours. You should contact the schools's Safeguarding Lead about these behaviours.

I'm so sorry this has not been resolved, your poor DD finding this boy still sat next to her!

However, I have lost count of the number of posters on this thread (including me) who have told you to report to Ofsted. I don't understand why you haven't done this?. You are banging your head against a brick wall with the school, they have had several opportunities to end this behaviour and they have just proven they are incapable of doing so. You seem to think if you can just explain it well enough/ reason with them in the right way, that the school will rise to the problem. They wont. Report to Ofsted.

Honestly I'd go to the police. Its assault plain and simple. These dicks need a life lesson.....

Can you start an after-school feminist club?

Sometimes Pumper, your advice is truly awful, this is one of those times.

Usually trash like these boys leave school at the earliest opportunity, hopefully this will be the case and your daughter won't need to put up with them for much longer. I would be pushing for them to be excluded, it's assault and sexual harassment for gods sake.

I don’t recognise your username, do you name change a lot?

Why is it an awful idea? Teach them what their rights are, teach them how to be assertive.

What do you mean "it's not assault"? Did you miss this bit...

This began with the throwing of food and then escalated to them both having empty water and fizzy drink bottles thrown at them, one of which caught my DC in the face and also her friend who ended up injured and had to go to the hospital.

One of the children had to go to hospital due to an injury she obtained during the course of the assault. It is disgusting behaviour, it is assault and the police should be notified.