I want to tell my husband I will divorce him if he gains a lot more weight

[LongStoryShorty]

My father in law is morbidly overweight, struggles to walk, etc and I have nothing against him but dread the thought of my husband being like that. I’m sorry but I couldn’t stay, I want to be active and do things and to be doing that to your own body…

He’s quickly heading to that direction though. Him and I never share a meal, he doesn’t eat the healthy food I cook he would just order a takeaway instead. He says he loves my cooking but can’t see him eating it?? I batch cook things so there’s always healthy food in the freezer but he won’t eat it. I eat my dinner earlier as I don’t want to put on weight, I will only eat in the evenings if there’s a special occasion.

As well if we go for a day out I will eat and the kids will eat before so we don’t get hungry and he says he’s not hungry and as soon as we get there he will buy something unhealthy. This is exactly what his father would do. I just reminded him there’s some really delicious risotto in the freezer as he said he was going to get a takeaway, he says he hasn’t eaten all day. He’s not taking the hint! Would I be unreasonable to just tell him if you get as big as your dad I will want a divorce..?

[Thelongwayround]

Well, it doesn’t sound very kind.

[MolesOnPoles]

Totally fair enough. If he wants to eat himself into disability, he doesn’t need to drag you down with him.

[Travis1]

You sound like you have issues with food? Won’t eat in the evenings unless it’s a special occasion? You can leave your husband for whatever reason you want. Perhaps you don’t make him happy and that’s why he eats shite so you’d be doing him a favour. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Hiyapeeps]

Hard to say without more info. How early do you eat and how overweight is he? Does your FiL have a medical reason or just bad diet?

[Chickychoccyegg]

You don't have to stay with someone out of kindness.
Absolutely, I think you should point this out, sooner rather than later, so can make a decision, before he's even bugger.

[HeelsOnFire]

If this is a dealbreaker for you that’s fine, be clear with him.

Your own attitude towards food seems disordered and fearful, I would personally worry about what this is teaching your dc, and feel there is a balance to be had.

[KarmaStar]

Is it really that black and white?
Can you sit down and talk everything through?explain how you feel and you see him following in his father's footsteps.
Be honest,do you worry about his health or don't want a fat partner?if it's the latter you need to decide if you are better off apart.
If you love and worry about him and his health then I hope he will listen to you.
Eating habits are hard to break and if he wants to do it he will need your support.
Hope it works out for you both.💐

[UmbilicusProfundus]

I started off fairly sympathetic to you, but you do sound a little … intense…and it feels like there is more to this story.

[Greysanatomyfan]

How tall is he and what does he weigh?

[DespicabIeMe]

Do your husband a favour and chuck him my way.

[Thelongwayround]

@Greysanatomyfan

How tall is he and what does he weigh?

I am curious, how will the answer affect your advice? What BMI level is divorce worthy without knowing anything about the actual relationship 😂

[Bunda]

Agree you are entitled to feel like that and I possibly would too. But it does sound like you are sucking the fun out of food.

[BooksAreSaferThanPeople]

You seem very controlling about food. Honestly I think you need to explore that further and consider the messages you're giving your children.

I'm curious if the situation reversed and you were the one who was overweight, how you would feel about your husband talking about you in that way.

[Flamingogirl08]

You both seem to have issues with food tbh

[Thelongwayround]

Fuck me. Who else do you shun? The disabled? Very underweight people? Smokers? People with heart disease?

[amiold]

Does he eat a takeaway alone out of the way because you're so judgemental maybe? Or maybe he doesn't like your meals but too polite to tell you. You obviously think you know best and he should eat what you want to eat as you've deemed it "healthy" and he doesn't want the aggro of telling you. Maybe you've took the fun out of eating; having strict ideas about when you should eat etc.

[Thepeopleversuswork]

YANBU and I wouldn’t tolerate someone who seemed hell bent on eating themselves to death. Plus it’s just rude to reject your food and eat shit all the time.

I have to say though that your own attitude to food sounds pretty unhealthy. Not eating in the evening so as not to put on weight? That is pretty neurotic.

It sounds to me as if you are both triggering one another with your respective extreme food behaviours. What is the rest of the marriage like?

[Mojoj]

Nothing wrong with that. Being morbidly obese is disabling. It's not your job to look after him.

[Changingplace]

I eat my dinner earlier as I don’t want to put on weight, I will only eat in the evenings if there’s a special occasion.

This isn’t a normal attitude to food, it doesn’t sound like either of you have a healthy relationship with food tbh.

Do you pass this kind of thinking on to your kids?

I do see your point re wanting your husband to be healthier but I think there’s a bigger back story here.

[astarsheis]

I agree with previous posters...there seems to be food issues going on...on both sides.
Maybe you need to address how and what you eat independently and as a family.