I want to tell my husband I will divorce him if he gains a lot more weight

[LongStoryShorty]

My father in law is morbidly overweight, struggles to walk, etc and I have nothing against him but dread the thought of my husband being like that. I’m sorry but I couldn’t stay, I want to be active and do things and to be doing that to your own body…

He’s quickly heading to that direction though. Him and I never share a meal, he doesn’t eat the healthy food I cook he would just order a takeaway instead. He says he loves my cooking but can’t see him eating it?? I batch cook things so there’s always healthy food in the freezer but he won’t eat it. I eat my dinner earlier as I don’t want to put on weight, I will only eat in the evenings if there’s a special occasion.

As well if we go for a day out I will eat and the kids will eat before so we don’t get hungry and he says he’s not hungry and as soon as we get there he will buy something unhealthy. This is exactly what his father would do. I just reminded him there’s some really delicious risotto in the freezer as he said he was going to get a takeaway, he says he hasn’t eaten all day. He’s not taking the hint! Would I be unreasonable to just tell him if you get as big as your dad I will want a divorce..?

I wonder if you realise how utterly shallow you sound? Are looks the only thing that's important to you? You rarely eat in an evening as you don't want to put on weight?

I'm feeling very sorry for your children and your DH to be honest.

it seems a much better message than the acceptance of obesity

Shallow. And reheated risotto tastes crap tbh.

Threatening to divorce someone in order to blackmail them into changing doesn't sound like a particularly loving relationship. Do both of yourselves a favour and end it.

It's actually really common attitude.

For some reason tons of people believe that 400cal food will be 8790cal after 6pm

Seconded.

Genetics play a role in this though, as do psychological issues, both of which seem to be apparent in the OP’s family situation.

Far better to adopt a more flexible attitude, if nothing else for the children, who will learn far better to choose wisely from having the opportunity to sometimes have foods that are deemed unhealthy.

Eh? Isn't it in the marriage vows that it is the job of spouses to look after each other as in the vow in sickness and in health?

I think if you love a person you love all of them, not just their weight.

However, I also think that it's important to be attracted to your partner, and that it's reasonable to not want to be a carer to someone for god knows how many years it is.

It's funny because I'm sure many posters will criticize OP as shallow, and yet those same posters on other threads would advise women that they can leave a relationship for any reason and they don't need to justify themselves.

I get the sense that this is not about OP's husband just being fat. It's about their lifestyles not being compatible anymore :

• OP likes being active, her DH clearly wouldn't be able to sustain an active lifestyle if he gets too big
• OP likes eating healthy, her DH hates it to the point of no longer eating meals with the rest of the family

At the end of the day, if they end up just cohabiting but not doing anything together because they no longer have the same interests/lifestyle, that's not much of a marriage, is it ?

So yes in these circumstances I think it's reasonable to have a chat and explain your concerns to your husband, and see what he has to say about it.

Okay, okay 😂

I can’t disagree with you OP.
I wouldn’t stay either.

Niiiiice.

No one wants to come home from work to risotto.

If you are out for the day it is dull to eat from tupperware (money aside).

I kind of get your point OP but not the "only eat on special occasions " rule

I wouldn't want defrosted risotto either

I am not on the side of op but.

Addiction is sickness for example. Should people never divorce addicts?

Well quite a few people think there are get out clauses when it comes to self destructive behaviours.

Not when that sickness is due to overeating.
Op’s dh isn’t even trying the food prepared for him.

If a man wrote this about a women he would be slaughtered...

It sounds as if there are two kinds of disordered eating going on here (I know it when I see it).

Reheated risotto is a food poisoning risk.

Most rice in restaurants is reheated.... Anything is food poisoning risk if you treat it badly enough

I’d feel the same tbh I think overeating is similar to smoking or drinking too much ! Why is it ok to give someone an ultimatum over smoking or drinking but not over eating. It’s just as bad and he could die young or have all sorts of health issues as a result

😂This is a novel take on LTB !

Not necessarily, I’ve seen posts on mn from men and the replies tend to have the balance that this does.
The exception is when the man is clearly an arse with a new baby and isn’t pulling his weight.