Dh being an arse about his operation tomorrow

[Unicornenthusiast]

Dh is having an elective minor operation in a private hospital tomorrow. He was meant to be admitted in the morning but they have moved his surgery to the afternoon, meaning that his discharge time will be the same time as our dc's bedtime.

Dc are 8 months and 3, very good bedtime routines and good sleepers in general. My issue is that DH is extremely blasé about the fact that I need to bath and get both dc ready for bed and then drive 30 min to pick him up, whilst having the kiddos in the back of the car in their pyjamas (hopefully sleeping). He doesn't understand why I need to know exactly what time he'll be discharged and that we need a plan if his surgery is delayed.

He seems to think it's completely fine and easy if he's discharged a few hours later than planned, so I'd have to put the kids to bed and put them in the car a few hours later, or potentially sit in the hospital car park on a cold November night with a baby and a 3 year old.

I have to pick him up, there isn't anyone else who can do it and there's no one who could stay at home with the dc whilst I get him. Baby DS is fully breastfed so I couldn't leave him with anyone else anyway in case he woke up.

Now he's very upset with me and thinks I don't care about him...

I'm not sure why you're making such a big deal out of this. Due to ages your kids don't have to get up and go to school tomorrow. As exclusively breastfeeding I'm assuming you don't have work to get up for tomorrow so I'm not sure why you're being so difficult. Just put the kids in the car and pick your husband up. I'm sure they will survive 1 night of disturbed sleep and we aren't talking the middle of the night.

Tell him you can’t be arsed to pick him up and to either fund his own way home or stay in overnight.
if he doesn’t like that divorce him.

Why are you blaming your husband for something that is entirely out of his control? You are being VERY unreasonable, they'll discharge him when they are ready

So tell him he has to stay in overnight, but really you are being ridiculous - nobody knows if it’ll be 8pm, 10pm or midnight, there is literally no way of knowing this information whatsoever which virtually every single person who has replied has already said.

Sorry, just read your updates and seen it’s GA. He may be in no condition to “just give you a ring” when he’s ready to go home.

It blows my mind that some people think it’s ok to just pop in a taxi alone after any kind of sedation. If I tried that, the hospital would simply decline to admit me. No ifs, ands or buts.

Unfortunately I think you may have to resign yourself to a chaotic night. But please do check if you have to be there in person for admission and discharge.

It may not be possible to plan to have the kids in the car and have him wheeled out to you. There are usually discharge notes and care instructions that have to be acknowledged.

Are you ok to share what procedure as you may get someone come along with experience so you know exactly what to expect.

I feel really sorry for your DH. He is having a general anaesthetic, so it can’t be that minor. The children will be completely fine.

Well that’s totally different! In that case tell him he either stays or makes his own way home.

I think you're being an arse about your DH operation tomorrow

Just put the kids in the car whenever, it’ll be fine

Yabu,
Massively.

YOU ANIMAL

@Unicornenthusiast I assume he doesn’t pull his weight normally and this is your really PA way of getting your own back.

Nice.

Bearing in mind everything you’ve said, he needs to call you when he’s been discharged and ready to go, and then he waits 30 mins or a bit more for you to arrive with the kids.

Thats much better than you waiting with the kids in the car for an indeterminate amount of time.

He should stay in overnight. Fuck sake.

Get a babysitter

I'm surprised he doesn't want to stay. My husband would jump at the chance of a child free night! 😂

Wow. Poor guy. He's having an op and it's clearly just an inconvenience for you.

Oh he has the option of staying overnight??? Missed that. He should defo do that.

This is mean, unreasonable and ridiculous.

Do you literally never go out or go on holiday or anything?

Don't you care that he's having a GA?

You're completely overreacting.

Why can't he phone when discharged and you pick him up then. The kids won't come to harm, by having their routine changed for one night. Really not seeing the issue?

I might even…skip the bath

😱

But how can he possibly know at what time he’ll be discharged? I think all he can do is call you when he’s ready and then you go pick him up.

YABU all you talk about is break in routine. No concern about DH having an op under GA.

Horrible

surely he could take an uber?

not fair on DC at all-ridiculous on his part

YABVU it's a one off, he's having surgery, you make it work for one night.