To be a bit annoyed that she didn't offer to pay?

[Emma2745]

Just had a birthday meal out with a friend, It was a great time but at the end of the meal when it was time to pay she excused herself to go to the bathroom. The waiter came to collect with the bill during this interval so I just paid it.

My friend came back and sat down and I told her I had paid so we could go. She just said thank you. Then we got up and left. That was 3 days ago and she hasn't
said anything about offering to pay half the money (we usually split the bill). Moreover, I thought since it was my birthday that she might have offered to pay, as we have done that for eachother the past couple of times we've been out celebrating one anothers bdays.

I'm not too annoyed, just a bit, and also it's possible she might be hard up for cash at the moment, as many people are....so I think the right thing to do is to just let this go right?

No, I think that's cheeky and presumptuous of her to just let you pay. She should have offered half. I would message her and tell her how much her half is.

I'd message her 'Hey X, thanks for a great night on Xday'. Your half was X amount, let me know if you need my PayPal/bank details! Can't wait to see you again soon.'

Could be a simple error and she's forgotten x

Text her, she knows she should have paid!

You paid the full bill on YOUR bday?!

Absolutely I would ask for half. Even now. Who does she think she is?

Depends, if it was less than £10 I probably wouldn’t give it too much thought other than being a minor irritation but more than that and she’s just being cheeky especially if it was your birthday! But as I’m sure you know, the best time to say something was at the time!

I’d probably just send a quick text saying could you send me over the money for lunch the other day when you get the chance? Thanks!

I would send her a message saying "Your share of the bill for that meal was £... And if she then says"oh I thought you treated me" just say no and reiterate what she owes.

This! Well timed visit to the bathroom??

Oh wow. I initially thought it must be her birthday hence why she might have possibly thought it was your treat.

But your birthday?!

I'd do the above. Ask her for her half.

To be honest if I went out with a mate for their birthday I'd just pick up the bill. Did she get you a present or anything?

It does sound as though you weren't very clear at the time that you expected her to pay her half. However I'd certainly ask her for it now, and yes I think it's strange that she didn't offer.

I don't think you would be a all unreasonable asking her to pay her half now.

If you don't, make sure when you next go out for her birthday that she pays the whole bill. And just say to her that this was what happened on your birthday, so you thought this was the way forward.

I don’t really get why you paid the whole bill if you normally split it - I’d have paid my half and waited for her to pay hers when she got back. Do you normally have one of you paying the whole bill and the other pays the other one back? Or do you normally split it at the table?
I agree she should have offered her half later on, but it might have confused her. Just ask anyway, pointless to stew over it.

Looks like your friend may have timed that bathroom visit.
A bit sneaky of her to not mention it.

She could be hard up but still she should have been upfront about this when you invited her. She could have said, "oh I don't think I can do it as I've got less left after bills, do you think we can just have a cheap microwave meal and a glass of wine at mine maybe?" Along those lines.

Maybe she was embarrassed about it.

I'd bring it up with her. Otherwise you are at risk of becoming used.

I think you confused things by paying it while she was in the loo. That's what I do when I want to get the whole bill without an argument.

I think you should either have said "I got the bill for speed while you were in the loo you owe me X" or just waited.

I think the way you worded it made it sound like you were paying and happy to do so.

I’d probably suggest she pays next time, and she might even sugegst this before you do.

Actually she might not have timed it. Ignore what I said about timings.

The more I think about it the more I'm inclined to agree with @AdelaideRo might have been better to wait for her return and then paying/working it out.

That's very cheeky and sounds like a well timed wee!

I would definitely message and ask for her half of the bill.

Problem is it's paid now and she could say, well why didn't you mention it at the time?

Bills at restaurants drive me mad, splitting, not splitting, unspoken rules and codes, etiquette bollocks

How was the lunch arranged? Who suggested it and in what way?

Regardless of what she thought.... who on earth wouldn't have put up even a tiny protest?

Oh no, let me transfer half right away. Or, the next one is on me

I don't know anyone who doesn't fall over themselves to at least pay for what they consumed

How come you paid when she was in the toilet? I'd be a bit confused if a friend did this. I'd likely still offer my share but it wouldn't be unreasonable to think someone has decided to treat if they've done that.

Why did you pay it? And why didn’t you say ‘I’ve paid it, you can PayPal me your half’?

Personally I’d messaged her saying “lovely to see you, meal came to x so could you transfer half when you get a minute” if she’s hard up for money then she shouldn’t agree to go out

I voted YABU because honestly, only on Mumsnet do people who claim to be friends, not actually talk to each other.

"I just paid the bill, so you owe me X amount" is a perfectly normal thing to say.

Ask her