To be a bit annoyed that she didn't offer to pay?

[Emma2745]

Just had a birthday meal out with a friend, It was a great time but at the end of the meal when it was time to pay she excused herself to go to the bathroom. The waiter came to collect with the bill during this interval so I just paid it.

My friend came back and sat down and I told her I had paid so we could go. She just said thank you. Then we got up and left. That was 3 days ago and she hasn't
said anything about offering to pay half the money (we usually split the bill). Moreover, I thought since it was my birthday that she might have offered to pay, as we have done that for eachother the past couple of times we've been out celebrating one anothers bdays.

I'm not too annoyed, just a bit, and also it's possible she might be hard up for cash at the moment, as many people are....so I think the right thing to do is to just let this go right?

Yes this.

I voted yabu because you chose to pay the bill instead of waiting for her to return. If there was no prior agreement on what was being done, why pay considering past events. I also agree she could have offered.

Was it somewhere that insisted you paid the bill the minute it was put on the tabe? I don't get the thinking behind paying it all if you didn't intend to treat your friend

Who doesn't wait for the other person to come back from the loo

I'm always amazed by people who say they are friends but can't even navigate the simplistic of scenarios

Why didn't you just wait for her to come back to the table???
She only went to the toilet ffs!
Wasn't any need for any drama

That's so rude of her. It was your birthday and if the norm is for the other person to pay she should have offered. I'd send her your bank details with the amount she owes.

You’re the mug for paying.

Yes no idea why you paid for it while she was in the loo.

Why on earth did you pay? Why not ask the waitress to come back in 5 minutes/when your friend returned from the loo?

The waiter came to collect with the bill during this interval so I just paid it

I would never have done that-waiters leave the bill with you and then you let them know when you’re ready to pay. Your friend wasn’t back, so you were ready!

I think this could have been a misunderstanding...if one person pays and says "I've paid the bill" it could mean that it was your treat.

@Emma2745

confused you said you had paid and you can go.
assuming she said thanks why would she thinks she owes anything if you didn’t say.

you could have waited to paid the bill or maybe next time she pays?

How much are we talking? Some costs balance themselves out - we don’t always buy even numbers of rounds, someone might pay the taxi because they get out last, etc, but if it’s more than about a tenner then I’d say it falls outside the general equilibrium.

No good saying what OP should have done. The question is what you do now.

Had you already called the waiter over to pay then?

In which case it was very rude of her!

Sorry, you should have waited until she got back from the bathroom then said hey the bill is here....
That would have been much more normal

I think you confused it by paying too - I agree with the poster who said that it is what they would do (pay when other person has nipped to loo or pay on your way back/to the loo) if they want to pay the full amount without argument.

Just tell her what she owes you.

Exactly what I was thinking.

It wouldn't even cross my mind to settle the bill unless I specifically wanted to treat the other person. Otherwise I'd be waiting at the table, ignoring the bill, sitting on the mumsnet app on my phone 😂

Id let it go but do the same to her next time and I would pick the most expensive thing on the menu. Cheeky cow.

not understanding the "convenient" timing comments...pretty standard to need the toilet after a drink and a meal, the bill came whilst she was in the toilet. Most friends actually like each other and the OP said they normally split the bill which suggests this is a regular thing.

why would OPs friend deliberately try not to pay on her birthday?

Anyway OP, it sounds like a simple misunderstanding. no point getting annoyed about it, if you want the money back just ask. having a conversation with a close friend really shouldn't be this difficult. I would message any one of my friends (admittedly probably not 3 days later probably sooner but either way) just saying hey any chance you can chuck me your half of the meal at some point, totally forgot on the day or something along those lines.

If someone says “I’ve paid the bill” rather than wait for me then I will assume they wanted to pay for the entire thing!

If I’m splitting the bill with people then I’d rather pay my portion to the restaurant directly by card then fiddle around doing transfers or finding cash later.

Do you know how forums work? Why bother engaging if you'd rather people didn't post their issues.

In normal life you'd wait for her to come back for the loo, or ask her immediately afterwards. I get really confused by these posts.

You should have waited until she came back before deciding how the bill was going to be settled

Just go out again and let her pay her turn

I went out with my friend the other week. I went to the till to order (she has a condition so no so good on her feet and preg). She said I'll transfer it I said it's ok! She said no I will. When she got out of the car when I dropped her home she said I'll send you that money I said honestly it's fine.

She didn't send it. I dont care... she's my friend so I'll pay for a meal it's not an issue. I really don't get this. You offered to pay by paying it ?

You need to message her. and in future make sure both of you are at the table when the bill comes.