To be a bit annoyed that she didn't offer to pay?

[Emma2745]

Just had a birthday meal out with a friend, It was a great time but at the end of the meal when it was time to pay she excused herself to go to the bathroom. The waiter came to collect with the bill during this interval so I just paid it.

My friend came back and sat down and I told her I had paid so we could go. She just said thank you. Then we got up and left. That was 3 days ago and she hasn't
said anything about offering to pay half the money (we usually split the bill). Moreover, I thought since it was my birthday that she might have offered to pay, as we have done that for eachother the past couple of times we've been out celebrating one anothers bdays.

I'm not too annoyed, just a bit, and also it's possible she might be hard up for cash at the moment, as many people are....so I think the right thing to do is to just let this go right?

Just message her and say

hi x You owe me x amount for the meal/drinks the other night. Can you transfer it asap, my bank details are:

attach the receipt if you want to?

Someone who goes to the bother of starting a thread, has people reply, and doesnt bother to update apart from to ask what a plopper is 🙄

so I think the right thing to do is to just let this go right?

Yeah, don't invite awkward by raising after the event.

UNLESS you fancy waiting til her birthday, eating out with her, then telling her it's obviously her treat, as you understand that's what you do on your birthdays now ...

Why didn’t you wait for her to come
back from the bathroom to pay???

You posted, received over 120 replies yet don't update or respond to those trying to help or advise you. You're known as a plopper.

She probably thought you were saying - I’ve got this. She could have protested or asked if you’d like her to send you half, but I’d just put it down to a misunderstanding. It’d also depend somewhat for me on how she said ‘thanks’!

So what happened in the end @Emma2745?

Unless there's an outright statement of "I'm taking you out to dinner, this one's one me" or something similar, leaving it incredibly clear that one person intends to pay for the other, the presumption should never be made that one person will pay for anyone else's meal other than their own.

I've recently got back from a holiday with a group of 4 of us, most times we went out for lunch/dinner one person would pay on their card to save each of us wasting time trying to figure out what each of us owed. The bill was then photographed, put straight onto the groupchat and everyone transferred what they owed within the hour.

I wouldn't have been in any way appropriate just to let one of my friends pay and then assume they were happy to pay for my meal, if they hadn't expressly stated as such.

Send a sweet but short "Heya! Your meal came to £x - do you want my paypal details or is a bank transfer easier?" - that message doesn't ask her to pay, there's no room for her to say no as there's no reason why she wouldn't pay. She made the assumption you were paying for her due to nothing but her own thoughts or feels and you gave her no indication or reason to make this assumption. She might be hoping you'd rather let it slide than have the awkwardness of having to ask to be paid back but remember that you're not awkward, you're just gently reminding her that she hasn't paid you back yet. If anyone should feel awkward it's her!

It was 6 months ago @OopsAnotherOne

If she was short of cash he should have politely declined the invitation.
She is being a cf.

You came back after 5 months to post this?

Unless you're absolutely skint, let it go. You can't ask her for it now. At the time you shouldn't have paid the bill in full, you should have waited till she got back to the table and split it.

I don’t understand why you paid it instead of waiting for her. I would only ever do that if I intended to treat someone. So presumably she thinks that’s what you’ve done, especially since you haven’t said anything. If you want her to pay, you need to say so, preferably at the time when the bill is being paid.

I voted YABU because I have no idea why you would pay the whole bill unless you intended to cover the whole bill.

Recognise it’s an old thread but if I had come out of the loo and my friend had paid I abso,utely would not just let it go, I’d have asked how much I owed. Cheeky cow.

I reckon she'd name changed but didnt realise that MN defaults back to your original name on a thread.

Seems slightly less weird that coming back just to ask what is a pretty obvious question 😂

If I was hard up for cash, I simply wouldn't go out to dinner or id at least let the person know so that they knew they'd have to cover & if they wanted to cancel til a better time for me then id be cool With it.
Who suggested the dinner? You know hoe people say the etiquette is that the person who asked the other out should pay. Maybe she thinks that because you didn't ask to split it right away, you were treating her to dinner.
If you think this is worth letting go then just let it go, if it wasn't a big amount of money.
If you think it's worth pursuing, you could ask her but to be honest I think the time to ask was there and then after you paid the bill.