16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

The OP has answered this, saying:

My daughter is scared as she is having surgery, she is scared that she is in so much pain and they are not listening to her.
**
She does not want me to leave her, she has asked me what will happen if she dies.

@Mamarsupial It is not entitled to not want to be raped. I hope YOUR child isn't raped in a hospital entirely preventably because people acted like safeguarding was for privileged moany cows.

I hope her surgery is successful. I would be asking to go up with her though.

That would only be maternity or gynae these days, not general surgery.

Yeah maybe if she was having a sleepover mum's presence may be irritating but you tend to find when 16yr olds are sick, scared and in a strange place all they want is their mum.

Sorry, I missed the part where the OP said her child was in the hospital wing of a category A prison full of convicted rapists.

Are you happy to say which hospital it is as I could try to look up its policy on admissions for young people?

She is scared and wants her mum there, fine. So the push should be for her mum to stay with her.

@antelopevalley You can't leave and get a full time job at 16 in England.
"You can leave school on the last Friday in June if you’ll be 16 by the end of the summer holidays.
You must then do one of the following until you’re 18:
stay in full-time education, for example at a college
start an apprenticeship or traineeship
spend 20 hours or more a week working or volunteering, while in part-time education or training" www.gov.uk/know-when-you-can-leave-schoolschool

I'm so sorry OP.
My DCs ( similar age) would not have coped well being in an adult ward, especially a mixed one. It's traumatic enough as it is being admitted to hospital and feeling so ill.
Hopefully the bay will be woman onky but I do think it's reasonable for you to stay with her, given how young snd vulnerable she is.
My mum was in hospital recently, she has dementia and the nurses definitely wanted me or my sister to stay with her all the time ( regardless of visiting hours) as it made their job easier. So they can make exceptions.
I would push hard to stay and ask to speak to a sister/ matron/ pals .
Good luck and I hope your daughter is better soon

@orbitalcrisis I know the law. Apprenticeships are offered in supermarkets. It is a con. You can get a full time job at 16 legally as long as they call it an apprenticeship and do a bit of "training".

She’s legally a child. Insist on either paediatrics or you stay with her. Or she goes to an all female ward eg gynae

@Mamarsupial Sorry, I missed the part where we pretended we didn't know just how many women have been sexually assaulted in general and - including on this thread - in hospitals, and how the perpetrators are for the most part not Convicted Rapists TM. Shame on you.

Then I'd insist on a children's ward or I would stay with her at all times. She's 16. She's a child. It beggars belief some people would be fine with this

I'd prefer them in male and female child bays from 13 at the oldest though I'm guessing that would be unlikely to happen? 15 year old boy/16 year old boy wouldn't make much difference to me.

She should not go to a gynae ward. She needs to be in a surgical ward with staff who best know how to care for her.

@antelopevalley If you're being sarcastic then I don't know what to say because yes in fact most women I know have had men try to do very dodgy things to them when they were a teen and being in a vulnerable situation in hospital compounds the issue.

I hope the day never comes when your child is dying of an entirely curable illness and you’re begging for a doctor, while entitled individuals elsewhere in the world rant about there being a male on the same ward.

This is really not the effective ‘gotcha’ or emotional blackmail you think it is.

Is it just raped women you don’t give a fuck about? Or is there some kind of hierarchy in your head where only certain people need protection/advocating for?

Why is it so horrific that people acknowledge that any men being in a space with young vulnerable girls/women is a safeguarding concern?

Do you use this approach for all other things? There are a few threads up about moving house, going on holidays, people worrying about their lives. Why don’t you go on those threads and have a go at them for daring to be unhappy when they aren’t in a third world country?

Here is one policy from an NHS trust.

www.bradfordhospitals.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Admission-of-Children-to-Adult-Wards.pdf

This extract seems particularly relevant.

I can take pictures!!!
or a diagram if you want.
Another girl has arrived in the bay and her mum is also saying that she is not leaving her daughter.

Ime hospitals try and place 14 to 6yo in either childrens or young people units but that obviously depends on what wards are available at the hospital and if beds are available. Hope your dd gets her op soon and recovers well.

Are you currently the parent of a sixteen year old?

Yadnbu OP.
Tell them you will be accompanying her as her chaperone. She'll need nursing and personal attention which tsge probably won't get over a weekend. Appraise the situation when you're on the ward. Get hold of your MPs office this afternoon just in case

What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

I work on a paediatric surgical ward. We would take a 16 year old with appendicitis but if short of beds we would prefer them to go to adults. But some 16 year olds just wouldn't cope on an adult ward so it's not unreasonable to put your foot down and insist that you stay. Some wards cut off at 16 others are more flexible.