16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

@antelopevalley Well, I agree with you on that. There are a lot of bullshit apprenticeships out there!

What types of thing do you think they care for on gynaecology wards? Abdo surgery maybe?

@Mamarsupial and @antelopevalley

www.lbc.co.uk/news/rape-and-sexual-assault-in-hospitals-has-rocketed/

Pretending that convicted rapists are the only men who rape is frankly hilarious. Rape is essentially legal because the conviction rate is so tiny. And the chances are that there are multiple sex offenders in a hospital at any point because it's actually quite common. Even on the most conservative estimates there will be a couple of pedophiles and several rapists in a hospitals of several hundred people.

But WAG aren't allowed to say that because NAMALT. Right?

This sounds good. Do this.

I hope the day never comes when your child is dying of an entirely curable illness and you’re begging for a doctor, while entitled individuals elsewhere in the world rant about there being a male on the same ward.

Enough with this race-to-the-bottom stuff. We do NOT need to be grateful for whatever the NHS doles out to us. We are not a third world country. (Nor should people in developing countries have to deal with this, but that is a different discussion.)

OP: stick to your guns and refuse to leave. I hope your DD gets her op soon. I personally am ashamed and appalled that a sick child in the UK is saying that she is scared of dying and yet being told by the hospital that she can't have her mother with her on the ward and going down to theatre with her for her op. Do not budge, OP.

If she is sitting in a chair with a drip the hospital is very short of beds. The last thing they need is an over-anxious mother causing issues for nothing.

Mixed wards should be banned. I had a bad experience in one even as an adult - I'm appalled a 16 year old girl is being sent to one.

It will be single sex bays on adults wards. It has to be. Paediatrics is exempt from this rule though we do try and avoid mixing teenagers. But some times it's unavoidable.

Is she definitely going to be in a room with other men? I've never seen this in my hospital in Scotland. Yes there may be men on the same ward but not in the same room/bay?

Great. The two of you can both advocate for your daughters. Ask to speak to PALS.

@AnApparitionQuipped Everyone has explained what this means. Single-sex bays in a wider mixed-sex ward. Virtually all wards are like this.

Luckily the mother isn’t asking for a bed for herself, or anything other than protecting and advocating for her child. That’s not causing issues. The issues stem from (1) the systematic draining of the NHS and (2) men.

Another girl has arrived in the bay and her mum is also saying that she is not leaving her daughter.

That's good. You can stick together on this.

This. Which is typical for surgery.

I've just read another hospital trust policy which says parents are allowed to stay with 16 year olds (actually that one was up to 17 and 364 days) when they are admitted to adult wards.

Your poor daughter, I’m so sorry for you both. It’s bad enough her feeling really unwell and in pain, for you to be watching her suffer and then to have the stress of this appalling situation. If I was you, I would just very calmly but assertively say to any staff who ask why you’re on the ward, that you’re concerned about your daughter and will just sit quietly in a chair next to her bed until she has her surgery and is then (hopefully) moved on to more appropriate surroundings. If they threaten security, ask them to bleep her doctor so you have the opportunity to explain your concerns. I doubt the doctor will miraculously appear as they’re too busy but at least it buys you time waiting for your daughter to have her operation. I know that there are a lot of strong opinions on this thread but I urge you to speak to PALS this afternoon, if you can.

I think it is reasonable that you stay with her - she is under age.

Not practical to ban them. You can't have one ward completely full of women, but a male ward empty of vice versa. And it's better for patients to be on wards for their specialty.

This. The squeaky wheel gets the oil. Don't let her go onto this ward.

OP I'd accept the mixed ward. However I would not accept that I could not stay.

You will be available if your dd needs anything, particularly emotional support which I am sure the nursing staff will be far too busy to provide.

The Sister may be refusing. I'm sure this can be overturned. Call PALs and/or the CEO's office. Note your dd is vulnerable, frightened and they have a duty of care to make a reasonable adjustment. I would not leave my dd alone at our local hospital and she's 24. When she was 17 I didn't have to either.

Just stay in the chair, we have to state the rules but on my ward I am not going to call security to evict a discreet, helpful relative who might actually avert the sort of disaster with a patient that I fear happening every night.

Unlike the posters who seem to think that putting the word adult in capital letters or bold will somehow keep this drugged 16 year old safe from sexual assault Hmm.

Presumably though she could be assaulted by a teenage boy on a mixed paediatric ward too?

(How am I doing so far, @oobeedoobee?)

@antelopevalley - mum doesn't seem to be causing any issues other than wanting the best for her child. I would not be happy with in this situation either - a 16 year old is vulnerable, particularly when so ill. Don't see why mum cannot stay with her daughter tbh AND lets not forget we actually all pay a lot of money for the NHS and it should be geared around the needs of patients / not staff.