16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

She's. Not. An. Adult.

No-one is asking her to rant and rave at staff, but asking if she could stay would be reasonable.

YANBU, I'd be going absolutely pop. No way you should be leaving her there. Have you called PALS?

I’m afraid I think this is a bit of a first world problem. The main thing is that she has a bed in a hospital and skilled staff give her the treatment she needs. There will be hospital staff around 24/7, she’s unlikely to come to any harm from the other patients, I think the more pressing problem is probably her appendicitis.

I think the OP’s only option is to pay to go private and employ a (female, DBS cleared, obviously) security guard who will punch anyone with a penis who dares come within 10ft of her DD. Even if are they are quite clearly seriously ill little old men who are awaiting an op. Either that or learn how to remove an appendix.

Right, well then they can drop their insistence that she goes unaccompanied and allow OP to go with her, given all you say, can’t they.

I would want to see the risk assessment for a sedated 16yo girl on a mixed ward. It’s not a big ask. They should have it to hand. Ask the site practitioner how THEY feel about it & explain that you will be staying. Ask to speak to the level 3 safeguarding officer as well. Not the level 3 trained staff, but someone from the safeguarding team.

This. I'd also refuse to leave. You can try security to remove me if you're that pushed, sister but I won't be leaving my child.

Honestly, she won't be in a mixed sex bay - these are only allowed in high dependency areas such as ICU. The ward may be mixed sex, but the bay will be female only with separate bathroom facilities.

You (female relative, it wouldn't be appropriate to have a male family member staying in a female bay as patients are so vulnerable) should be able to stay with her if you speak to the ward manager/lead nurse/clinical site manager. According to most Trust safeguarding policies, she can have a parent with her and she should be nursed in a side ward if one becomes available (unfortunately, available side wards are very few and far between currently due to infection control issues).

During her admission, she may be moved a couple of times but her age will always be considered as she is classed as a child in an adult setting. Safeguarding are informed of her admission as a matter of course in this circumstance, although it being Friday afternoon, you may not see anyone until after the weekend.

Once the senior ward teams go home today, there will be a site manager/site coordinator who you can contact to discuss concerns - they will be happy to support you.

I hope your daughter feels better soon x

You can be given a single room for safeguarding/social reasons. This is considered “patient centred” care and so best practice.

My daughter has been on a mixed ward before. But she is vulnerable because of her disabilities I was able to stay with her and she had her own room. There was no single sex toilets though they were mixed. There was a separate toilet for staff that I had to take her to if all the others were in use. Got told off a few times I just told them well she was desperate she would have wet herself if she had waited. You might not have a choice though it will probably be just pre surgery. Don't they need an ICU bed available for surgery? Our local hospital don't even have ICU for children. We would have to go to Manchester.

It's not a first world problem to care about the risk of your child being raped and if you think "little old men" can't pose a danger either you are deeply naive.

Surely only a ‘first world problem’ if you’re unaware that women have been raped on mixed sex NHS wards.

OP I hope your daughter feels better very soon and you can get this matter resolved without worrying her any further. I’d feel pretty helpless too.

I don’t see a point in bold writing, it’s just not helpful to someone who is already stressed and needing reassurance.

All will be ok OP. ♥️

I was put on a mixed ward aged 18, I don’t know what this single sex bay thing is mine was just a ward with men and women in it. Mostly men and I was sexually assaulted one night, so yeah get her the hell out of there if you can.

Also - the NHS knows there are higher sexual numbers of assaults on mixed wards as per its own data.

It's bizarre isn't it?

I’m glad I’m no longer a surgical ward nurse reading this thread. Please support the nursing strikes, they don’t get paid enough for this shit.

My heart goes out to you OP. She is still a child at 16 and should be put in ward where she will feel safe. Especially given the pain she is in and the worry about surgery. I cannot understand how they cannot let you stay with her, even if you just sit in a chair with her, you're hardly taking up any room.

My 17 year old was in hospital about a year ago, so would have been 16 and they let me stay with her. I don't care that she 'isn't a little child' she was worried and scared and needed her mum.
I hope they are able to either find her a bed in an all female ward or let you stay. I can see no good reason why they should kick you out.

Those saying that 16 isn't a child must not have a 16 year old. No, they are not a small child, but they are not a bloody adult either.

@ReedRite No, we should check our cis privilege and our "maybe having a hospital bed after hours of waiting in A&E" privilege or something.

I had surgery at 16 and recovered on an adult ward early 2000s. Was dropped off and picked-up when time to go home. Was not an issue infact was preferable to being on a noisy childrens ward with all the screaming, toys and miniature furniture. Staff and other patients were very good to me because I was so young. They brought me all the best magazines!

Where have I said that I am shouting the odds, stop making things up!

My 16 year old daughter will be going down to surgery without her parents. Imagine if that was your child.

Iwho would be happy for their 4 year old daughter to be on a ward with 16 year old boys ?

Utterly disgusting.

The safeguarding palaver that no doubt goes on in her school - and then this - she can be half conscious with any adult male wandering about.

the same people who would not be happy with their sedated 16y old on a ward with adult men.

so they need to have a solution to both - eg parent staying with teh older children.

Yep

The bigger issue is that teens are badly served by the health service as it is set up in many areas. Choice between a children’s ward set up for prepubertal children and adult wards set up for 18+. Both are unsatisfactory. Some children’s wards take till 18 and some only to 16 making it a massive postcode lottery. The best places I have worked in give the parent and child a choice or have a teen ward.

In the world outside of the health service the direction of travel has been to move childhoods end date to 18 - vote, drink, smoke, marry, have to stay in education etc, therefore expecting a 16yr and their parents to suddenly be ok that they are staying in hospital alone surrounded by adults isn’t ok. It also puts too much pressure on the ward staff who are there to nurse not parent