16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

She's already said the toilets ARE mixed.

I have not gone in all guns blazing.

I don't want my daughter in a bay where men old enough to be her grandad can just walk in,
there is no nurse constantly in the bay, maybe just maybe I would feel a little bit easier and less worried if there was.

I understand that she is 16 years old but she is still my baby, who is ill and going down to surgery at some point by herself.

In law she is still a minor.

So would you deny your child surgery?

Exactly.

The last 16yo boy we had was squaring up to the dad of a toddler who had asked him to stop shouting and swearing at us at 2am.

When I was 16 i went into a&e and ended up having surgery and was put into a children's ward. I would demand this.

March yourself down to PALS now, and insist on staying with her. Also check your hospitals policy on 16 year olds in adult wards.
I was 17 and spent 3 weeks in hospital on an adult ward but I was on single sex.
Hope she recovers quickly

@fairgame84 Well, I guess that rather than doing things case by case we should simply let a teenage girl on a ward with adult men instead

What exactly do you think is going to happen?

That she will be sexually assaulted while sedated by one of the blokes wandering about the ward. She is 16 and vulnerable as she has been given a drug which makes her sleepy.

@oobeedoobee nope sorrry a 16 year old is legally a child.

Op - how does your DD feel about it?

YANBU OP

The only small consolation is that at least his is advertised as a mixed sex ward, so at least you are informed. The worst is that single sex wards are not being kept single sex, which is awful, dangerous gaslighting.

(If anyone wants this matter and many others cleared up, then you may wish to pay a visit here: www.mumsnet.com/talk/petitions_noticeboard/4668426-petition-update-the-equality-act-to-make-clear-the-characteristic-sex-is-biological-sex?page=5&reply=121487539)

This is tricky, because, at 16, human beings are medically adults. Children’s bodies are actually physiologically quite different from adults, rather than just being “small adults” iyswim, and, as such, need specialist care and equipment. It’s not really about the legal age of majority or whether or not they’re at school but who will be performing the operation/ caring for her. For a 16 yr old a paeds ward wouldn’t really be appropriate but maybe ask for a separate room if you’re worried?

Where I am the 'mixed wards' are male one end with their own showers and toilets and female the other end with their own showers and toilets. The nurses station is in the middle, the bays themselves aren't mixed. Any overspill usually end up on the day unit or some such.

Whilst I wouldn't be happy about it I'd want to know what the set up was first, the last time I was on a mixed ward I was oblivious to it until the day I left !

In 2001 aged 16 I was in a mixed ward but women only bay. They were very old and one died next to me. It was awful. I hope they can get your daughter a side room at least

Exactly. If they cant accomodate her in a paeds ward or single sex ward then fair enough if tha is policy/resourcing issue but they cant also stop you staying with her if that is the case. It is a safeguarding issue. Most proably nothing would happen but it might and it is unfair to put a 16 year old (of either sex) in a potential position like that when they are vulnerable - ill, groggy, in pain - especially overnight and especially with patients that might have dementia-related issues or malicious intent. Unlikely, of course, but no one can know that.

I think your bold button is broken

Or refuse to leave

Our hospital cannot take 16 year olds on the children's ward unless they are complex patients known to us.

1. We are not commissioned for 16yo.
2. We don't have enough beds.
3. We have mixed sex bays on our paeds ward and cannot separate 16yo males and females as there are not enough single rooms.

I’m sorry to hear that Op, I can understand why you are so concerned.

Unlike the posters who seem to think that putting the word adult in capital letters or bold will somehow keep this drugged 16 year old safe from sexual assault .

Because men never sexually harass or assault teenage girls, we all know that don’t we ?

@oobeedoobee

the thing is that she isn’t an adult at 16 (assuming this is England) legally she is a child until she is 18 and her parents Have responsibility for her wellbeing

As 16 and 17 year olds can consent to medical treatment and their bodies function like adult ones the hospital find it easier to treat them like adults but they are not. They are in a different position to adults in that they OR their parents can consent to their treatment, say the OPs daughter decided she didn’t want the operation because she doesn't like needles or whatever really, the hospital would be silly not to have the op there to sign the forms in that case.

It would not be acceptable for a group of six formers on a school residential to be left with no supervision from a teacher or other appropriate adult, nor would it be considered acceptable for them to stay in mixed sex dorms. Say this teen wants to leave at three am as she hates the ward? Are they going to be supervising her and stopping her? The nurses on an adult ward are not there to provide parenting or supervision but nursing. It seems very much in the hospitals best interests to allow you to stay to provide that adult supervsion or transfer her to a paediatric ward where the nursing staff do have a supervising role (even though they like to get parents to stay to provide it). Emphasise to whomever is making you leave that your daughter is a child and so is vunerable and needs safeguarding and they are therefore taking on the responsibility of her care and supervision if you leave - they will likely soon decide to let you stay with her

(I’m not saying a 16yr old cannot be left alone ever or anything ridiculous as that but this will be a scary time for her and she will need more emotional support and supervsion than your standard adult patient)

I would thank the charge nurse for their time and then ask to speak to the site practitioner. Failing that the chief exec. I would hurry because it’s almost close of office business on a Friday and trust me, resources ARE more scant at weekends.

I would want to see the risk assessment for a sedated 16yo girl on a mixed ward. It’s not a big ask. They should have it to hand. Ask the site practitioner how THEY feel about it & explain that you will be staying. Ask to speak to the level 3 safeguarding officer as well. Not the level 3 trained staff, but someone from the safeguarding team.

they will let you stay.

For all the posters who are advising the OP 'insist' and 'kick up a fuss' etc have zero idea what this will actually accomplish !

The staff don't make the rules, but they must keep them !

ALL patients who have their 16th birthday are adults and it is not appropriate for them to be put in paediatric wards anymore ! Paeds A&E won't even see anyone who is 16yrs old or over ffs !

They are NOT kids anymore at 16 yrs old, so they go to adult wards, many of which are now 'mixed'.

The staff will do their best to accommodate her, but whatever bed is free is where she will be put. Staff don't have the luxury of choosing to put patients where they want, they put them where they can ! And all single rooms are for the the patients who require a single room because of a medical need e.g infectious/high risk etc. They aren't given to people who don't medically need it !

It's simply a fact that the NHS is already on it's knees trying to cope, and a frantic mother 'shouting the odds' at the staff to get 'special treatment' for her adult DD, is simply not going to help in any way.

Just refuse to leave her side that’s what I did recently with my dd when she was in a and e. I told them i would not be leaving and why (dd has other conditions) and that if they wanted me to go they would have to get security to drag me out as there was mo way in would leave my vulnerable dd there without someone who could communicate on her behalf

It’s rubbish, and if it was my DD I’d be upset too, but it’s the way it is. Push for a side room but otherwise there’s not much you can do about the mixed ward situation. The visiting is what would bother me more though and what I’d be kicking up a fuss about. She’s 16 and she’s not well - she needs you there! Fingers crossed the ward are more understanding - with 17 year old DD they had similar rules but in the end I visited her 2/3 times a day with no issues. One of the doctors actually recommended that I came in at 8am to be with her for ward round as parental input is still important and valued with teens

@oobeedoobee for the love of SODDING PETE will you stop with the hysterical bold type?