16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks I am sorry you had that ex[perience in a high dependency unit. Although I thought staffing in such units is supposed to be 1 nurse to 2 staff? But I can see even with that how it could happen there.

My experience of surgical units is they are the busiest wards in the hospital. Patients are admitted and discharged throughout the day. Staff are in and out doing obs, giving painkillers and preparing patients for surgery. And that is without HCAs helping patients get food, frequent drinks rounds, drugs rounds and cleaning. Then physios, pharmacists for discharge, social workers etc. And that is not including all the visitors - there tend to be lots on surgical wards as a lot of people are in for short stays.

I have had family on other wards with far fewer people coming in and out, but surgical wards were always really busy.

No it was the ward before she was even taken down to surgery!

@Teenangels I'm sorry you've had so much grief on your post. I would be exactly the same, even now and my daughter is 25. And it's not just your feelings, she would want you with her too, as would my daughter.

There are 2 deleted posts of yours at 15.21 & 15.29 - maybe more given the nature of your "contributions" . Not going to derail this thread any more - the OP has had to put up with too many unpleasant posters being critical of her being a good and caring parent.

Just to add to my previous post, my (young adult) DC is registered blind, but I still wasn't allowed to stay with them.

People on here really will attack an OP, whatever the circumstances of the thread. Unreal.

How is your daughter @Teenangels? I hope the surgery went well.

I agree I'd want to stay with my daughter or son too in these circumstances. Being made to leave them alone, in pain and scared seems very cruel to me. It's not like your demanding to be waited on and fed etc.

I was recently admitted to hospital in pain and exhausted and I didn't want my husband to leave and I'm a grown woman.

I am sorry that really surprises me. I have been on a ward before surgery with an adult friend never mind my teenagers. It is really strange they did that and I am sorry they did.

I swear our hospital is kids ward until 17 years old. We have kids and adults a&e and kids a&e is 17 and under. I think I asked on the kid/baby ward and was told it's up to 17 years old.

Im a nurse and horrified at what has happened to your daughter. You absolutely should have been allowed to stay, what reason was given for not staying? technically your daughter is still a child and she should have been listened to when asking for you to accompany her. Read this and after she is home, write a formal complaint to the hospital CEO, head of Trustees and a copy to the CQC. www.ouh.nhs.uk/paediatricorthopaedics/information/documents/childrens-rights.pdf

@Herejustforthisone, absolutely. Just because it's on AIBU, posters really seem to feel the need to bring out their inner arsehole and rip the OP it shreds.

'to shreds'

Sorry, this is awful, and the replies you are getting are too. I’m thinking of you and your daughter.

Baroness Nicholson on Twitter (in case anyone else hasn’t said so) may be interested in raising awareness for this, she’s been very good on these types of issues and dangers to women and girls.

@Teenangels

Literally the same happened to me at 16. Im so sorry and hope your dd is ok. At 16 she's very much a child and needs her mummy just now

YANBU OP, the hospital is. I would feel entirely the same. How can the hospital possibly justify this? I hope you are with her now and that she is recovering well.

YANBU @Teenangels but you shoulda known better than to post on here. I would be fucked off too.

It’s 18 on our paeds. My Dd is 1 month away from 18 and had a 2 week stay on paeds last month and another 3 months ago.

1318 sexual assaults in U.K. hospitals just in 2019. Including rapes. Including child victims. So it can happen. Which is why OP wants to stay

www.lbc.co.uk/news/rape-and-sexual-assault-in-hospitals-has-rocketed/

My 16yr old son was recently in hospital, twice. First time was in paediatric ward, which he hated as small kids screaming all the time, but i was allowed to stay overnight with him. And second time in a mixed observation ward, although side room, where i wasn't allowed to stay overnight. Was horrible leaving him but in all honesty i needed a break/rest and i know he was being well looked after. I went back to hospital at 8am next day.

I'm really sorry to read this OP. I really don't understand the hospital's position. I'd feel exactly the same as you.

I hope your DD is out of theatre soon and is home asap where you can look after as she deserves.

YANBU!

Your DD is not an adult. This is cruel.

I cannot understand the posters being nasty to you about this. Bizarre.

I hope your DD recovers quickly.

I suspect that some of the people who are saying that 16 year old girls are adults, are dirty old men who like to troll Mumsnet, who would like to f*ck 16 year olds without the world condemning them for it.

And the people who declare they're HCP's, make me terrified of being ill and needing hospital treatment. My experience with my children has been that you really have to steel yourself to speak up and fight for them, because the majority of HCP's I've come across lack empathy and seem only too pleased to just dismiss any concerns and treat you like you're a fucking nuisance if you have the cheek to ask questions.

It all feels very bleak. It's crap to just say this is the fault of the Tory government, the NHS's culture of paternalism and treating patients with lack of empathy, has always been the same. My kids grew up under Blair and Brown and HCP's were cruel and unempathetic then. The corrosion of the NHS might be the fault of the Tories but the culture of the NHS isn't.

I'm so sorry OP. And the way you have been spoken to and about on here by some posters is appalling. I hope your DD is ok.

If there are men with they're arses hanging out tell the staff so they can have a word with the men. At least she has someone her age in with her. I have returned home today with my DD from hospital on a female only ward. She was placed on a bay for 6. 3 of them were around my age. The other 2 were elderly and one did nothing but moan and complain and was rude and attacked staff when they were just trying to change a dressing on her backside. Oh yes we heard it all. If it wasn't that it was her cannula that she had to have because she refused to drink enough fluids. I've also had no sleep for two night's so I'm absolutely exhausted.