16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

@WiseUpJanetWeiss I am surprised if it was a triage surgical ward that the OP could not stay.

I know a case where a male orderly drugged and raped a 17 year old recovering from an appendectomy on the surgical ward. He'd done it god knows how many times but this victim was the first one to regain consciousness during

I have only read OPs posts, OP I feel for you and am with you, I am disgusted that your DD has been put in this position. There should be single sex wards and 16 year olds, especially girls, should not be on mixed wards. I hope your DD is ok.

I’m so sorry. She will be looked after. Im
Not sure why the ward is being so strict and not allowing any support even just while she went to theatre. Hope all goes well

Most adult and Paeds staff would agree ideally an ( non existent these days) adolescent ward would be more suitable for people like your daughter. Some are fine but it can be very difficult for others I know.

Why is someone in theatres like the theatre nurse or the surgeon or the anaesthetist or someone not saying “where are this child’s parents”?

worryingly it sounds like it is standard at this hospital ( and some some posters work on) to consent children without their parents and not allow the parents to be part of their care.

this is not good practice and is not uk wide.

yes paediatric beds are under great pressure and so it makes the most sense to move out the eldest children to adult beds first but this shouldn’t be standard. They should be thinking more creatively- create a bay just for the outlying teens with extra staffing?- let parents stay?

they absolutely need to be able to reassure the parents that they have polices and procedures to care for these children. There not adults legally and the hospital is being rather stupid not covering its own arse

What do you mean? The OP posted that they were on a ward, then that she had had to leave and was sitting in her car, and her daughter had just texted to say she was going down to theatre.

At 16 she'll be signing her own consent forms and while she may be a child in your eyes unless she has development issues she's not, my eldest had an emergency appendectomy at 15 and was placed on an adult ward, we were just grateful for his excellent treatment and care. as others have said be grateful they've found a bed.

This is so needed!!

OP YADNBU.

And what a bunch of officious, insensitive wankers there are on here.

Yes, the NHS is struggling, no doubt about that. But this child is 16 and she is not legally an adult at all!

I would want to be with my sick 16 year old under the same circumstances too, and they do still allow 16 year olds onto paed wards, if need be.

Some people are such Arseholes.

Well yes. Safeguarding policies and risk assessments do still have to be followed. Doesnt matter that its not a paediatric issue, adults and children still have to be completely separated.

In Britain?
There are other patients on a surgical ward. Did they not do anything?

@antelopevalley my dd gets the best treatment by far on the paed ward because they have a better staff/patient ratio, are pleasant, responsive, record everything, have correct specialists for her problem, it's much much better than the corresponding adult services, everyone dreads being moved to them aged 18.

@BadNomad women already die of shitty healthcare, particularly women of colour. Read Invisible Women. That will explain healthcare inequities based on sex. Mixed healthcare isn't 'adult' it's 'male'.

There was only one other patient in the room and he drugged her too.

I would not want this for my teenagers. I want them looked after by staff with a better understanding of their physical issues than on a generalist ward.
And my DD would be just at much risk from an 18 year old, as from an older man.

I can't understand why so many people think that this is acceptable? Yes the NHS is on it's knees but that doesn't mean we should just blindly accept shoddy treatment without a fleeting critical thought. It's not just teenage girls who find this difficult my poor Nan (now passed away) was outraged when she was put on a mixed ward, she had full mental capacity and as a former landlady knew how to handle herself but when you're at your most vulnerable you don't need to be worrying about inappropriate male behaviour. And FWIW my view isn't a reflection on the hardworking staff, it's a reflection of years of poor financial investment. We can all do something and that is stop voting Tory.

OP - I would feel similarly. Please do escalate your concerns to the safeguarding lead, hospital management etc so at the very least you can stay with your poor daughter. I wish her a speedy recovery.

Presumably not in the UK as it would have been all over the news?
In a surgical bay in the UK staff and visitors are in and out all the time.

Women & girls would never leave the house if we thought like that!

I wss 14 and on an adult ward 40 years ago. And my mother was only allowed to see me at visiting time in the evening. But I hoped that we'd be a bit better about letting parents stay with 16/17 year olds nowadays so I do think the OP has been let down there. I wonder if they're still trying to limit the numbers that actually come on to the wards because of Covid precautions?

to be honest, i wouldn’t want a 16 year old in a ward with my toddler so think for them to be in an adult ward is entirely appropriate. the bay she will be in will be single sex, the “ward” itself may be mixed but the bays/rooms wont be.
what exactly do you want the hospital to do? rearrange entire wards whilst trying to find a bed for your very unwell daughter? id imagine you will be staying with her anyway and she should be operated on sooner rather than later so hopefully she wont be in any pre op ward too long.
i hope she recovers soon.

Going by your own (highly underestimated numberd) if there's 100 men in that hospital with access to this girl's room, chances are there's at least one sexual predator amongst them.

It's actually likely to be at least one pedophile and several rapists. You know, statistics.

I'm sympathetic to situation OP and her daughter are in, she is 16 and frightened, but really?

I think most people when very ill appreciate a relative or friend advocating for them. But that is because it is hard to ask the right questions and take things in when very ill. No difference in your twenties or seventies.

No mostly babies and toddlers with Flu, RSV covid or chest infections/ viral wheezes . Some mental health yes but it’s winter and virus season i

It absolutely would be all over the news if in UK
When I came rounf from anaesthesia, it was in a recovery room with other patients and nurses ( I two male nurses) present.

It is highly unlikely this could happen in a busy NHS hospital.

So how many women and girls were raped in single-sex bays in a UK hospital last year?
This would be incredibly rare. Other patients, visitors and staff can see what is happening. And a surgical ward tends to be particularly busy.