16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

16 is treated like an adult from a medical perspective. 16-year-olds don't need paediatric doctors or nurses. They are given adult drugs at adult doses. Their obs are recorded against adult guidelines. Their appendices are removed by general surgeons in emergencies, not paediatric surgeons.

It’s standard practice now in nearly all hospitals for anyone 16 above to go to adult wards.

childrens wards in my area are more likely to be mixed sex with boys in the girls bay as it’s safer for staff to be near to monitor risks.

adult wards are not mixed sex they have separate bays for females and males. If your daughter needs an operation it’s only the recovery area that’s mixed six.

But they still have feelings and most will still need a parent for support in this situation

Yes, which is why a parent is normally allowed to stay with them.

There are not wards for 16 and 17 year olds because of low numbers and because people do better on wards with specialists.

I work clinically for the NHS, so do understand the policy and procedural site.
However, I would have refused to leave the ward and advised that they could ask security to come and escort me away should they feel necessary. I doubt that this would happen.
YADNBU

Thinking of you OP. You’re not being unreasonable - your job is to be there for her and advocate for her and not being able to sit with her pre-op or walk with her in the way to her op is heartbreaking. I hope everything goes well and she is home soon. She knows you love her and would have been there if you could. Make sure you write to the Trust (maybe via PALS) to talk about how this impacted you.
when she gets home give her (gentle) hugs x

16 and 17 yr olds are still treated as paediatrics by the CQC though- I work in a private hospital and when our paediatric nurse left, we were no longer allowed to see anyone under the age of 18 at all, so a paediatric nurse does have to be around (although I suppose they would say there are paed nurses in the hospital as a loophole)

Shocking. If they can't provide a single sex ward then you should be allowed to stay. She's a child. Once op is over and she is discharged you should contact PALS. Wishing your daughter a safe stay amd a quick recovery. My DS had peritonitis aged 10, was very poorly and in hospital for 10 days, was horrendous. He's now busy teasing his brother in between bites of nutella on toast having done double rugby at school and couldn't be healthier.

You are being very unreasonable tbh. There’s staff everywhere in a hospital and cctv. She can pull the curtain round. They mostly don’t do single sex wards because frankly if you are having a life or death emergency and are a man and only females are allowed on the ward with room you going to let him die? Don’t be ridiculous. Also adult men aren’t all predators- probably 99 plus percent aren’t. The NHS is fixing your daughter and saving a life so sit down and let them without giving them aggro.

I'm really sorry you're having such a horrible experience @Teenangels. My own experience with a child of a similar age is that I was just glad they were going to be operated on - my only concern was that it would be as quickly as possible, and I couldn't have given a toss about who else was in the universe, never mind on the ward - but I know that we are all different. I am very much of the "chin up" school of thought, and my DD and I had a laugh about the madness of the ward after the event. It is crap that you aren't allowed to stay with her, though, as you should be able to choose what you think is best for an under-18.

I find it unbelievable they didn't let you stay @Teenangels. Did you ask to speak to someone in charge and they still refused?

I think you should write to your MP when this is over. I think, however, the mixed ward is less of an issue than you being allowed to stay. I'd want to stay whatever ward my child was admitted to. I think I'd have said if they were making me leave, I expect my dd to receive 100% care and attention and I'd have asked them to note formally their refusal tonallow me to stay and that if anything adverse happened to my dd or she reported being left in pain or distress I would hold them 100% responsible for any concerns whatsoever.

I hope the surgery goes well. I hope you take this forward formally with your MP and the CEO.

@BMIwoes

i don’t know which hospitals are local to you, but we don’t have any single sex wards where I work! We have bays within the wards that are male OR female, but other than maternity, there are no single sex wards.

Even when they needed an emergency appendectomy? I doubt it. People are put where they need to be for their needs. The OP's daughter is not in hospital for a paediatric issue.

Of course there isn't CCTV in a hospital bay. What on earth makes you think that would be OK?

Going by your own (highly underestimated numberd) if there's 100 men in that hospital with access to this girl's room, chances are there's at least one sexual predator amongst them.

You like those odds?

Bit of an overreaction tbh. If you want to dictate your care, then go private.

@fannyfartlet You don't know much, do you? Private care does not cover acute surgical operations.

So very sorry OP - hope that you receive good news soon and that there are compassionate adults with safeguarding training working on your daughter's ward tonight. You must be beside yourself with worry - I would be.
Please ignore the sad adults lacking in compassion on this thread and do the best for your daughter.

I am shocked by the number of people that think this ok. A 16 year old girl sleeping in the same space as 70 year old men while unwell is not acceptable. OP I really feel for you and I would be very unhappy about this situation.

antelopevalley

There are teen wards in paeds.. My daughter stays in ours regularly. It’s the busiest part. Op’s Dd is still a child so entitled to the same rules as she would on paeds. I’d insist I had the same visiting rights.

I am really shocked by this OP - I didn't realise 16 year olds were treated as adults in hospital. Hope your DD feels ok after the op and gets a female ward.

So abuse has never happened in hospitals?

And there are not staff 'everywhere'. Sometimes there is one nurse for a very busy ward.

This was me. Although I was 17. Also appendicitis. It was a horrid few nights.

I would’ve been ok, if the nurse had been nice be she wasn’t!

I couldn’t get up to the loo and felt so humiliated weeing in a bedpan on a ward. I’m 32 and remember it well.

however I survived and I’m not entirely sure whether a childrens ward would’ve been better- but perhaps kinder nursing staff!

@WhatisanODP I don't know to be honest. When DS was in hospital for surgery there were teens on the ward. I think if a teenager has to stay on a mixed sex, adult ward then her mum should be allowed to stay with her.