16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

I am surprised you were not allowed to stay with her. I have always been allowed to stay with my teenage DC and my DH.
I am surprised there were two men with their bums hanging out. You do not tend to get many people with dementia on surgical wards.

Op I’m so glad she’s gone down and really hope you are able to see her soon.

Sending a hand to hold in case it helps.

But it's not a mixed ward is it. They are single sex bays.

OP, you came here asking if you were being U.

Some people told you that you were being U. You told them to 'wind their necks in.' If you're not prepared to be told you're wrong for your ungratefulness: don't ask!

I’m not in London. But 16/17 is that grey area in my trust because they can’t go to the childrens ward.

we don’t allow the parents come down to the anaesthetic room or recovery at 16/17, but I know that parents generally are allowed to be with their child, if they want them there on the wards - because they are under 18. Hopefully the ward she goes to is a bit more willing to have you there with her.

hopefully all goes well OP, and she’s out of surgery soon.

But it's not a mixed ward is it. They are single sex bays.

If there are males on the same ward it is a mixed ward.

People describing their own experiences isn't 'scaremongering'. Risks don't go away because people keep quiet about them.

It’s not scaremongering. It’s reassuring the OP that many of us, despite what some posters are saying to her (see: ‘I couldn’t get worked up about this,’ ‘overreacting, much?’ Etc.) agree with her concern about her daughter being placed on a mixed adult ward.

Mixed wards are frankly appalling, anyway, let alone for a post-operative young teenage girl on her own.

There’s a good chance she will be fine OP. Hopefully you can stay with her tonight. Maybe refuse to leave….?

Some people told you that you were being U. You told them to 'wind their necks in.' If you're not prepared to be told you're wrong for your ungratefulness: don't ask!

You are the one who needs to wind your neck in. Wow, just wow.

Mixed sex wards are the pits. Should not be allowed, putting women at risk as usual. My aunt was in and out of hospital the last few years of her life in her 70s. She was put in a mixed sex ward and she was so uncomfortable and scared. Whenever she became ill she would cry knowing she would have to be put in one of these bloody wards. I can't imagine having to put my 16 year old daughter in one. Why isn't there a teen ward if they are too old for children's ward? We're constantly being told we should be grateful for the NHS? Yeah, but it's not 'free' most of us pay in, we should be allowed care and dignity when needed. Hope your daughter is ok 💐

No, I wouldn't be happy either.

We're lucky in the fact our local hospital is not mixed sex wards and children go onto children's wards until 18.

I hope your DD is okay x

Sorry Haven’t read the whole thread but have they done a Gillick competent assessment

OP did not tell anyone to wind their neck in, someone said it to her in fact.
Sixteen is not an adult.

There is a distinct lack of common sense here. No way is a sixteen year old a fully formed adult, despite what any laws or hospital regulations might say! Despite their impassive outward appearance , some teens are less able to speak up for themselves than little kids, because many are crippled with self consciousness at this stage, especially in strange settings, when unwell. But neither are they small children.

This is yet another area of life where teens are discriminated against. There should be proper provision for adolescents in hospital.

Where there is any doubt though (which there shouldn’t be as this should be covered properly by nhs policy) surely they should be placed with younger dc, rather than adults, for obvious reasons?

I totally disagree with the pp who said that younger dc would feel uncomfortable with a sixteen year old around; many of them will have left a teen sibling at home fhs .

no wonder she’s so worried, she’ll be feeding off your panicked energy. Not what she needs from her mum right now

@Teenangels: thinking of you. I'd also be very worried and I have no idea who those people can be who think this is all totally acceptable. I'd hate to be on a mixed sex ward, still more a mixed sex bay. Frankly, I'd be horrified. And as for you & your daughter having to see 70 year olds' arses hanging out - why do the nurses not do anything about it? No wonder you don't feel safe there. Nobody in their right mind would.

Yes, way too much scaremongering on here.

If you're up in arms about a 16 year old female being on a mixed ward (where actually the bays will be single sex ), you would also most likely be up in arms about a 17 year old male sharing a room with a female toddler /child on the paed ward.

A 16 year old can have sex, have a baby, leave home and get a job.

OP, I'm sorry your DD is unwell, I hope her surgery goes well. My DC was on a single bay adult mixed ward at 16 and the staff kept a close eye on them. They were the youngest by some way but they did cope.

How awful! I hope she’s ok OP!
I’d hate to be on a mixed ward myself never. mind leave my child in one!
Hope she makes a quick recovery and is home soon xx

I can’t believe the responses on here! When did people get so unkind!

Oh OP that’s awful. Sorry you’re getting a hard time from some posters. Not sure what planet they’re on thinking it is okay for a poorly 16 year old to be forced to be without a parent on an ADULT mixed sex ward. That’s disgusting and bollocks to the ‘the NHS is on its knees’ crap- it costs them nothing to allow a parent to stay with their child and comfort them when they’re scared and in pain. Literally nothing!

I'm sorry, I was meaning the ward,(i was on adult mixed wards myself at that age and was fine with it). I really would be very upset about leaving a child alone in these circumstances. I hope everything has gone well, sorry again.

Sorry you find yourself in this shitty situation.

i think overall I’d be grateful that they are operating now, the sooner they do that the sooner she comes home. But yes is far from ideal.

hopefully you can see her this evening. Hospitals usually have lots of rules but there is usually a bit of flexibility. When I had an operation recently I was very relaxed and dozy (in a good way) for quite a few hours after. Hopefully it will be the same for your daughter. And although the ward staff were distinctly variable, all the surgical team were just fantastic (I was super anxious).

I had major surgery at 16 and they had an ‘inbetweens’ ward then. It was for the people in the grey area of too old for children’s ward and too young to be left without their parents. It was a wonderful way of doing it. It meant I had my mum with me even as I went under the anaesthetic and she could be be there as soon as I was brought round and didn’t have to stick to normal visiting times while I was there for a week after. I remember very clearly thinking I was going to die and I cannot imagine not having my mum there for me through that. I was still very much a child who needed a parent. Some people on this thread have been very unkind and completely without empathy. I imagine it’s because they’re lucky enough to have never been in this position. I hope your daughter is back with you soon and recovers quickly. I’m so sorry you’re both going through this.