16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

I hate the mixed wards even though the bays are single sex and I’m an adult. There is little privacy and you are discouraged from closing the bed curtains. I’ve been in an inadequate hospital gown when admitted from A&E and struggled to maintain my dignity. I don’t know why the hospitals do it.

We are in London.

Honestly this has been the worst hour of my life, I will have to call recovery soon, but I am not sure how long the operation will be.

Thank you.

I’m so sad to hear what you and your daughter are going through. You’re absolutely NOT unreasonable. I understand that perhaps the bed is on a mixed adult ward - but don’t understand why you shouldn’t be allowed to stay with her. She’s vulnerable, in pain - and a child. Also it can’t be very nice for the older men etc who probably also want their privacy and dignity,

Is there someone you can speak with? PALS?

I hope the Op goes ok and you can be with her straight after.

Been in that situation but with my 16 year old son. Instead it was old women with dementia wandering around half naked with boobs and arse hanging out and crying cos they had no idea where they were. They were all in the same bay 6 beds to the side bay in the wards. My son was mortified but quite frankly too ill and in too much pain to care. Not the best but I was just glad he was in hospital- he was moved to a different ward after 24 hrs where he stayed for 2 weeks and I had a lot more freedom to come and go as I pleased. I would have kicked up to stay with him til he had gone to a theatre though but every situation is different.

Hope everything goes well OP and you'll be allowed to stay with your DD after the operation.

Why do people on this thread think a 16 year old is an adult? Do people honestly not know that a person is a child until they are 18? A 16 year old cannot vote, drink alcohol, drive a car...

It's making my fucking brain hurt 🤦🏻‍♀️

At the age of 16, your daughter is still a child/teen, an adult from 18.

The trouble is; her condition is untreatable without surgery as the appendix can burst and the consequences can be extremly serious.

So your daughter is between a rock and a hard place.

Some mixed wards have segregated bays, so all men in one bay and all women in another. This may be the case here.

Or it may not.

Thinking of you OP. I’d be waiting in my car too. How incredibly upsetting. Your daughter will be fine, hang in there. 🥰

I'm pleased she's got her op quickly. Is there nowhere in the hospital you can wait?

Ours has a coffee shop where, even when the shop is closed, you can sit and read and get a drink from a vending machine.

Hopefully after her op you will get to see her after recovery and she will be allocated a bed for recovery on a more appropriate ward until she can return home.

Yanbu. I wouldn't be leaving her side. 16 is still a kid.

Take no notice of the people who apparently don't understand a mother wanting the best for her child OP. And wanting to protect her.

Everything crossed for you and your dd that the operation sorts her out and she recovers quickly and that you can be with her as much as you and she need after surgery. I'm so glad she's getting treated. Shame the rest of the package is not good enough.

@Teenangels

I can't imagine what you're going through, but please know the team there will be taking the best care of her, and soon enough you'll see her, hopefully home tomorrow to put this behind you.

Contact PALS when you're home.

Women have been sexually assaulted and raped on hospital wards

I'm so sorry, OP, this must be awful for you both. When my DS16 had appendicitis he (and I) had a room on the teen bit of the children's ward. It's appalling how it's such a postcode lottery. I hope your DD recovers well.

Yanbu that is awful.

Its bad enough having mixed wards at all, but putting young girls in them is shocking.

I remember an old man who was friends with my grandmother raging about it years ago - he’d had the girl next to him and had to tell some weirdo to get back into bed in a similar situation 😔

Oh, @Teenangels This sounds awful! I wouldn't want to be on a mixed ward, let alone my underaged teen.

I'm glad she's receiving treatment and I'm sure she'll be fine, but it's far, far from ideal!

My friend was upset when her 16yo son was on a mixed ward, but I had t considered it from a girls perspective before. I really wouldn't be happy for my DD to be treated like this.

Hopefully this is all over safely and soon

So you where do you draw the line? When is it acceptable to you to be moved to adult services?

At 18. When they are an adult.

Women have been sexually assaulted and raped on hospital wards

I know it can be so unsafe - the one above was 20 odd years ago, I thought they’d fine away with mixed wards.

So you where do you draw the line? When is it acceptable to you to be moved to adult services

I don’t find mixed wards acceptable at all at any age.

OP, I feel awful for you and your daughter. I wouldn’t want to be on a mixed ward, let alone as an ill and vulnerable 16 year old. I’m sure surgery will go fine and hopefully she’ll be on a more suitable ward afterwards

But she’s not saying she won’t consent her for surgery is she. She’s saying she doesn’t want her in a mixed sex ward at 16 and quite rightly so. Sod the being grateful - I would raise this as a safeguarding issue.

Oh God that must be awful fir you both - I don’t understand why a 16 year old girl can’t be in the childrens ward. 16 year olds aren’t adults - mine isn’t anyway. All the best - just hope she is is discharged quickly.

can posters please STOP with the scaremongering
it is unhelpful and unnecessary.

This was my experience when in hospital last month. I was moved once as the bays were rejigged to accommodate new male and female admissions. I had no contact at all with any male patients during my stay.