16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

Of course you should be with her and I’m shocked that you can’t be. 16 is no age at all in scary circumstances. Have you been told when you will be allowed to see her?
The attitude of some people, especially on a parenting site, really shocks me at times.

Wishing your daughter and you all the very best, @Teenangels

Aye, maybe not the day she's full of morphine and in pain, though, eh?

You are absolutely not being unreasonable, I would be beside myself if it was my daughter too. I hope she's OK and you get to see her soon.

@Teenangels your daughter will feel reassured that you’re close by and you’re doing your best for her. I hope she’s better soon and that you can visit.

Do not be afraid of kicking up any amount of fuss needed (bar anything that will be classed as abuse!) to try to get her to a children’s ward.

@AutumnCrow Idk why you picked up my post. I never said it was right. My mother did not stay until the last minute. I was a tiny dot when left and it was the same again at op’s dd’s age - on an adult ward.

Hope your DD recovers fast OP.

Hope you're ok as well, it's awful for your child to be in theatre whatever the age.

I wasn't sure whether to post this or not but when I was put on a men's ward one time because there (presumably) no space elsewhere, they gave me a handheld alarm. If you can't get her moved, it might be possible to ask for an alarm to be provided.

This is awful my heart goes out to you my mum was aloud to sit by my bedside for the first 48 hours after I had major surgery when I was 20 as the nurses had common sense and compassion that I was really very unwell, scared and still quite young.

also Hope dds home soon 16 is so very young.

“When is it acceptable to you to be moved to adult services?”

When she’s an adult? The law is clear an adult is a person aged over 18.

I hope you've stepped away from this thread now OP. There are some really cruel and frankly stupid posters on here.

It's very frightening when someone you love is in surgery and so much more so when it's your child.

I hope the hours pass quickly and your daughter is back on the ward soon.

Op, I hope your dd operation has gone well. I think it's awful, she is a minor. Earlier this year my 17 ds had an operation, non emergency, he had to go on mixed adult ward, I wasn't allowed with him. Yet when I collected him, he was on the paediatric ward.

YADNBU!! Put your foot down.

DD1 (15 at the time) was very unwell, very underweight, with an eating disorder. She has learning disabilities that render her thinking to more like a 5-6 year old than a 15 year old. Even then, her paediatrician said that he wouldn't tube feed against her will and would have to seek legal authority to treat if it came to it. It's a very important issue and they can't afford to get it wrong.

Just because your sixteen years old is going to be admitted to a mixed-sex ward, it does not follow that she will receive 'dangerous care' what makes you assume her care will be dangerous because of being in a mixed sex ward?
Having said that I don't like the idea of mixed sex wards and I have spent all my working life as a registered nurse and also managing wards, it was mooted several years ago that single sex wards and units should be reverted back but nothing has become of it.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your daughter, also I would support you in insisting you stay with her until she goes to theatre at least.

The hospital you are at seems to have a very antiquated policy for 16/17 year olds. At the hospital I work at most 16/17 year olds go to adult wards but are allowed someone with them most of the time , the parent may be asked to leave while other patients are being washed etc but it is normal for a parent to be there. Occasionally if the parent is male other females in the bay have raised an objection if their presence is constant. I would expect there to be a policy for this inbetween group who don't fit as adults or children. The only unrealistic request is for a single sex ward as apart from gynacology these don't really exist in an average size general hospital now.

I’m sure those of you who’ve given birth were quite happy to be on a single sex ward and to have a friend or partner there if you had an operation. Most likely as fully grown adults. Why would you not want that for a 16 year old child?

I hope everything goes ok op x

Also agree with @FlamencoDance

DH an anaesthetist, I'm a theatre nurse with 30+ years experience.

This is not ok.

Where in the UK are you?

Nope was not allowed to stay with her.

She is having the operation now.

I am sitting in my car, and will ring recovery to find out the operation has finished then hopefully I will be allowed in to see her.

I had my appendix out whilst heavily pregnant during the first lockdown. I was terrified. And in a mixed ward, yes separate bays but it was still intimidating as a 33 year old woman. I was worried about losing my baby, too. No visitors either.

I say this as a nurse. It is out of order she is expected to be on an adult ward.

OP, I would be up in arms. She should be on a paediatric ward. I hope her surgery has been ok and that you are ok, too x

@Teenangels I’m so sorry this is happening to you and I’d feel exactly the same. I have a 16yo DD who is still under Paeds despite turning 16 so it’s absolutely possible. I’m anxious for you just reading it and hope you can be with her in an appropriate ward soon 🤞🤞🤞

I also can’t believe the number of uncompassionate responses on here.

Lots of love OP. Wishing your daughter a swift recovery.