16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

You are absolutely NOT being unreasonable

I’m flabbergasted at some of the responses on here.

As the parent of a just 17 year old I can totally empathise with you @Teenangels
Earlier this year dc had an accident which meant that their chest was very sore and they couldn’t take a deep breath or cough effectively. 111 suggested that as they were 16 we should take them to A&E as they’d been seen in paeds. They even said if they were 17 at the time they would have advised more of a watch and wait approach as the situation in adult A&E was ‘not the place for a child’.

A week after their 17th birthday same dc cut their head open and it needed stitching. Adult A&E this time, a completely different kettle of fish with obviously unwell patients in the waiting room (physical and mental health problems), patients with police escorts etc. What a difference a few weeks makes in terms of what young people are supposed to be able to deal with.

OP, use this thread to make some succinct notes while your dd is in surgery so that you can go to the ward she goes to post armed armed with useful information to make your case for staying with her in a clear and concise manner.

Good luck xx

hope it goes well-yu should have refused to leave and rang pals

did the other mother stay

Just to add we are trying to sort an adolescent ward, for 16-19 year olds in full time education. It's tricky due to the staffing requirements of adult/paeds nurses but hopefully it will happen.

So sorry for what you and your daughter are going through OP. She must be terrified.

FWIW, I was in the same position as her aged 19. Very healthy, fit student, and I went down like a stone. Now 19 is very much an adult, but I felt vulnerable and scared, and the hospital were so kind and let my mum stay with me, not just at normal visiting times. She didn't get in the way or impede treatment in any way (as I am sure you aren't), so they didn't bother kicking her out until she went home in the evening. That was in 2010, times sure have changed.
I hope your daughter gets better soon. Appendicitis is vile.

I hope that your DD is okay. It’s so wrong that she is on a mixed ward - surely the hospital has a care of duty! At least she is having the op now which means she will be monitored through the night, so hopefully won’t be left alone.

Sending hugs to you

So sorry you and your daughter are in this position OP. I would be beside myself. Recently my 17 year old daughter was admitted and given the choice of children’s or adult’s ward. She chose the children’s ward, I was able to stay with her, the adult specialist team came to see her on the children’s ward. I didn’t realise how lucky we were, I thought this would be the case in all NHS hospitals.

Teenangels

take no notice of the ones that are saying these things, there either hard as nails or have no feelings. God help their children if they have any, can you imagine, “ go to the dentist yourself, your 10 yrs old now”

I’ve got a son 33 and I’d go to the hospital to see what’s happening etc, even if he said I’m fine

Hope your not kept to long now and you get the call very soon to say she’s fine & awake ready to go on the ward.

Sorry you are going through this. It is shit and it’s hospital wide policy across most hospitals that once you hit 16 if not already known to paeds then it’s to an adult ward. All wards are mixed sex and then single bays, they aren’t the facilities to have an entirely say gastro mens ward and womens.
but shout and complain at a government level. The sooner we move to single rooms for all and the more American model where someone is allowed to stay 24/7 for support and nursing care the better.

Your daughter needs urgent surgery if it was planned you'd have more of an argument do you expect them to move a younger child or someone else for her?
You have no idea if their capacity or urgency levels at the moment. It's not ideal but neither is appendicitis.

@Teenangels
im with you I’d be fuming and beside myself. Don’t listen to the bitcy PP they just come here for sport.

You can ask for her to be on the childrens ward. My son broke his leg when he was 17. It was in the middle of covid and he needed surgery. I wasn't allowed to stay with him as they put him on an adult ward. I burst into tears on a nurse and she said she would have put him on the childrens ward (I would've been able to stay) but they had a lot of babies in with RSV and it wouldn't be restful for him and he would be vulnerable to infection.
You need to ask and make noise.

The comments about ‘I couldn’t get worked up’ about an unaccompanied, unwell, highly dosed up adolescent girl on a ward with men? Are you kidding me?

Yeah all right Dave

Legally and for safeguarding purposes a “child” is anyone under 18 so to be honest I am surprised that some NHS hospitals are failing 16 and 17 year olds in this way by not giving them the choice my daughter had.

As FlamencoDance said many 16 year olds are very much not adults and would certainly feel more comfortable (and be better protected) on the children’s ward and able to have mum or dad to be with them for support.

Drama much?

What exactly do you think is going to happen? She's going to be in a hospital ward, where there are numerous health professionals around. If every 16 year old was given paediatric treatment then there would be no beds for the genuine paediatric patients. So you where do you draw the line? When is it acceptable to you to be moved to adult services?
I understand its hard for the OP to recognise that her DD is now under adult services, I have a DD myself and I would struggle with the concept too. But that doesn't mean it's wrong, and quite frankly the scaremongering tone to your post is unhelpful. You are not afraid for this young lady, you don't even know her

Hope you are not cold in the car and that it won't be long before your daughter is back on a ward.

Go and see her and refuse to leave. Hand them a phone with this thread on it and double dare them to try and make you budge.

Hope all goes well. Take care.

I wonder if they are still working under Covid guidelines, so non-patients are not allowed on the ward. I can't think of any other reason why they wouldn't let you stay with her until they were ready to take her for surgery.

Wishing her a speedy recovery I think it’s awful and some peads wards do take up to 18 as my son has a chronic condition spent many nights in hospital and until 18 on the childrens ward

Sending you a hand hold op. The wait for your dc to come out of theatre seems like the longest most frightening wait. Hopefully she will be back with you in no time.

@skinnyminnie21 I can only assume you haven’t been in hospital recently. It’s a broken system and not the regulated safe haven you’re imagining