16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

The question is, why can't OP stay with her daughter? It will benefit her daughter. Presents no risk that I can see.

I have a medical condition I was on mixed wards from 16 I think it's a difficult age as no longer a paediatric case. I think someone upthread said there is no mix bay wards in the nhs I've just visited someone in a mixed bay clinical medical so they are still there

How are you both doing, OP? How's your daughter? Hoping she's settling.

willingtolearn and taking photos of them will not change that but it will get OP kicked out/reported; any amount of undesirable consequences.

Making sure that patients are dressed is staff's job. OP can keep the curtains around her daughters bed closed and then no arses will be seen.

Please stop with the 'old man' arse references. I wouldn't want to see anybody's arse. This site is ageist/misandrist and it's tedious as it deflects from the real issues, ie. OP being allowed to stay with her daughter.

I was a couple of weeks off 16 when I was admitted to hospital and was mortified to have to be on a children's ward, I hated every second and refused to have any friends/my boyfriend visit, a mixed adult ward would have been preferable to me, I would have had the curtains closed and been fine. I wouldn't have really considered the risks at that age, as an adult I don't think it's ideal, it's a shame there isn't something in between.

No, because bottom line they can allow a parent to stay if nothing else works out

My daughter had surgery this year, she was 16. I was allowed to stay with her until she drifted off from anaesthetic, not allowed in 1st recovery room , but then was called into 2nd recovery . They initially said she was old enough to go unaccompanied, i said no she isnt. She's a minor, you are allowed to go with her.

How many times is acceptable? if it happens to one girl a year, is that ok? Is it ok if it happens to the OPs daughter tonight as long as she's the only one this month?

It's disturbing to see how little people on here claimig to work in the NHS understand risk assessment and safe-guarding.

Stay with her. Plenty of women and girls have been sexually assaulted on mixed sex wards. I'd be asking to see their safeguarding risk assessment for your vulnerable 16 year old minor daughter before you leave. You have legal responsibility for her safety as her parent. And if they insist you leave, demand before you do they put in writing that they will ensure her safeguarding and ensure that she is not left alone with adult male strangers. They can't ensure that so it'll probably be easier to let you stay. I'm sure you'll be helpful.

Jesus H Christ on a bike - the safeguarding that is put in place in schools and the lengths gone to to protect children and they're going to leave a very vulnerable girl within reach of adult men without anyone else DBS checked within sight.

How little our society values girls.

If you're forced out make sure she has a phone with a good charge (ideally with a charger plugged in) so she can call you if anything makes her uncomfortable. Poor thing, I wouldn't be sleeping in that situation. I hope she's ok.

If you and the other Mum refuse to leave, what on Earth will they do?

My Dd is 14 so only two years younger. No chance in hell that in two years time I’d be leaving her alone on a mixed ward.

As a mother of teen girls, the fact that there are HCPs posting on this thread, saying that this is normal and nothing to be worried about, and insinuating that the op is being hysterical and hyperbolic, would make me more, not less, concerned if I were the op frankly.

Exactly.

It's disturbing to see how little people on here claimig to work in the NHS understand risk assessment and safe-guarding.

Yes, I was thinking the same.

My adult brother was admitted to hospital in his mid 30s and my mum refused to leave. Nothing happened, she stayed all night every night. She was very helpful and did things for him the nurses were too busy to do. As long as you're no fuss I don't see the problem.

Never happens, of course.

www.independent.co.uk/news/health/nhs-sexual-assault-patients-mental-health-mixed-sex-wards-a9273656.html

www.theguardian.com/society/2014/dec/31/sexual-violence-soars-uk-hospitals

@NellyCat I am not denying it happens however both articles you have posted there refer to mental health hospitals so the nature of wards are very different in that the patients are much more mobile, known to be a risk to the public or themselves hence why they are there and not in their right mind. None of that excuses any of those women in those units being attacked, and the lack of safeguarding of those vulnerable mental health patients is disgusting.

I do however feel it is inappropriate to keep posting about the potential of this which is going to make the OP feel worse and more fearful for her daughter when this is just going to be more detrimental at this point to them both. I am absolutely of the opinion that OP should be allowed to stay, and if I was the nurse in charge of the ward I would not send her home. Not because of the fear that one of our patients would assault her but simply for the fact that she needs her mum's emotional support.

Then refuse the treatment if you’re that angry

You can take her to another hospital.

OP isn't hysterical but the posters are, it doesn't help, but after reading the actual info in the posts past the hysteria I can see why it's a problem and agree now after reading.

I think it's inappropriate to try and gaslight and minimise the fears of an adult woman who is all too clear on the potential risks and reality of male violence against women and children from the sound of it.

It's not talking about male violence that's the problem, it's trying to sweep it under the carpet. It's entirely inappropriate from a safeguarding point of view for a 16 year old to be left alone in the situation the OP describes. It's a massive safeguarding red flag.

OP - the hospital must have a safeguarding lead, ask to speak to them before you leave.

Why are you demanding stuff from drs and nurses who have no control over where she’s put?!

you need to ‘demand’ to see the bed manager.

I agree.

I understand how much pressure health staff are under but I am starting to really worry about those still working in the service, they seem to have become inured to the awful state of everything and now just berate patients/anyone who thinks things are unacceptable.

I spent a few weeks in hospital on a ward that was technically mixed but the rooms themselves were single sex. I wouldn't have been comfortable sharing that space with men. Hope you got it sorted OP (not had time to rtft)

@Teenangels , don’t leave , tell them calmly that you will be staying unless they are going to provide a side room with en suite facilities or a female only ward . If necessary ask to speak to the senior nurse / person for the hospital and tell them you are not leaving .

Trauma? Seriously?

Appendicitis is an emergency, it is really not this simple.

Kick off. She can go to a paediatric ward at 16. If they have a bed but on the whole they are more likely to have a bed than adult acute medical.
Raise it as safeguarding. Refuse to leave and don’t give in.

I would feel exactly the same if this were my child .