16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

I'm sorry, but that's crazy talk 🥴

Good advice, also speak to the staff and ask them to ask them if patients with bums on show could pleasecover themselves up, women do that too.

I don't know what the ward is like but when my DD was in a mixed surgical ward at 18 she was nowhere near the men the ward was divided in two, the middle was bathrooms (female her side and presumably male the other side) and a kitchen and some offices or store rooms or something. It was called mixed and the nurses moved from one side to the other but the reality for patients was they were actually separate. Can you ask what the set up is as it might be more like that.

I was in a mixed cardiac ward but we were in separate bays but it was not as separate as the surgical ward e.g. you had to walk past other bays to get to the bathrooms but not the toilets which were closer to the women's bay.

In an ideal world, maybe but when paeds ED is full of younger kids who need admission. They will have priority as there is nowhere else for them to go.

Agreed this is absolutely fucking ridiculous talk

At 16 I was not an adult. At 16 I still lived at home. At 16 I still went to school. At 16 I still needed my parents for the vast majority of things.

At 16 I couldn't get married without my parents permission, or drink, or smoke, or do a plethora of other things ADULTS can do.

At 16 I still wouldve wanted my mum there, especially if I had never had an operation before

At 16 I was not a fucking adult.

You can't even play a roulette in a casino at 16 FFS

I just don’t think it at all likely that the daughter will get raped on a hospital ward.

She is however highly likely to get seriously unwell if she doesn’t get treatment soon.

Other patients are highly likely to suffer or even die if time is taken up by parents kicking up a fuss.

I think the OP is understandably but unnecessarily anxious, and PPs encouraging her to ‘take a stand’ could result in much time being wasted and real harm being done to people because of a vanishingly unlikely risk.

Hospitals have a duty of care and do their own risk assessments. OP doesn’t like it but needs to accept it, that is my opinion.

You've missed several posts where people have informed you that there have been rapes on mixed-sex NHS wards and where other posters have informed you of their own experiences of being sexually assaulted in hospital.

Instead of continuing to stubbornly ploug on with your own idiosyncratic, under-informed view, it would be an idea to read and comprehend the thread properly. You might learn some new information to inform your views going forward.

The OP is in hospital with a sick child asking for support, and @antelopevalley is deliberately winding her up telling her that the child is more at risk of rape from her dad.

Mixed sex bays were outlawed by the NHS a while ago, mixed sex wards yes, the only place mixed sex areas are allowed if no other alternative is on ITU.

You can't even play a roulette in a casino at 16 FFS

Putting a sick, semi-conscious child on a mixed ward and not allowing a parent to stay is playing roulette with their safety.

This.

If this happened to me at this age, I'd have been absolutely distraught. (Which, let's face it, isn't good for you when you are already quite poorly).

I have read, I have understood, I still don’t think it likely.

Ds was 17 in a mixed sex ward but male bay. I was able to visit outside visiting hours and was taken to be with him in recovery. He also had appendicitis. The staff were kind but an adult ward was an eye opener for him!!

Clearly crazy talk, when I have attend parents evening for her.

I agree!

I think if I as a 47 year old woman was semi-conscious on morphine and very ill on any ward, unless I was about to go into surgery and in a pre-surgical space I'd want someone with me a lot of the time to advocate for me, with the state of the NHS as it is now.

@Mamarsupial

But not impossible. In cases like this, everything should be done to minimise the risk.

How about showing some compassion as well? OP's daughter is vulnerable and terrified, and you honestly think that having her mother sat quietly by her bedside is unreasonable to ask for?

Those saying op is overreacting: I was on a mixed ward at age 19. I was actually put in a side room as I'd contracted a hospital bug during my stay. A man from the ward tried to come into my room at night and was just shutting the door behind him when a nurse stopped him. He claimed he'd got lost going to the toilet but the way he was staring at me made his intentions quite clear to me, during the day he had walked back and forth past my room several times staring in at me. I was totally bed bound and very weak so couldn't have done anything to stop him.

I don't think it's right to have mixed wards at all tbh, but I can understand why it happens. I certainly think op should be allowed to stay with her daughter and it's in the nurse's interests if the alternative is a frightened, upset patient.

Google "freedom of information hospital rapes" and your eyes will be opened. That is why we need single sex wards.

So many people catastrophizing on here!!!! Nurse of 19 years, Jesus calm down everyone, she will be perfectly safe!

Behave!

Paeds isn’t equipped for 16-18 year olds - in
my hospital at least - we do keep our complex needs until 18 but pre 16 majority of lt kids get moved to adult services. We have an adolescent bay but that’s for 12 and up (2 beds) otherwise if very sick they are beside nurses station. it’s so difficult as a nurse I understand why they’d go to adults as we’ve had some utterly nightmare teens mixing with babies/toddlers/children. But as a mum my kids still needed me at 16.

All hospitals should allow a parent to stay if they want to. 16 year olds can’t always advocate for themselves, would be scared and confused in an adult environment like that whilst in pain and vulnerable. Id want to stay. I would ask to stay and be quite firm, you’ll not get into paeds, this time of year is so busy if it’s general paeds and priority is given to children who need care within a childrens environment by nurses trained specifically to care for them. It’s a shame this isn’t thought about in hospitals to even have thought about how these teens will be cared for and how they will be protected if a parent isn’t permitted to be there. It’s crap op and sorry you’re in this position with a scared young girl who is in pain and wants her mum with her.
hope they allow you to stay with her. We should be doing this better, all age groups need good, person centred care. I think 16-18 absolutely should have some sort of provision for parents to stay or open access etc and single sex areas.

I see why she's frightened to be alone in a hospital ward, but I'm not sure why she's asking about what will happen if she dies! Surely you've explained that she's in a safe place and that hospitals are there to make her better?

@Lizzy1328

Well, some people in hospital clearly haven't been, have they?