To go and pick SS up from school when his mum has said no?

[tmpbk]

More of a wwyd

Teen SS is due here tonight, he's been messaging me and has told me his mum told him to cook his own dinner last night so he did but started to feel unwell, he had the runs 2 or 3 times and told his mum but she sent him to school as it's probably food poisoning not a contagious bug (food poisoning is still just as bad though!) he asked me to pick him up as he feels unwell, he said he's told the school he feels sick but they told him to see how he feels later but because he hasn't been sick they won't send him home, he said he's been to the toilet a few more times but his last teacher had gotten annoyed at him keep asking to go which I can see from her point of view she probably thinks he's trying to skip the lesson. He has her again after lunch and she's told him she won't allow him to go during that lesson.

He won't tell them he has an upset stomach as it's embarrassing (it obviously isn't but he's a teen), I've told him to lie and tell them he's been sick but he said they won't believe him if they haven't seen it but he's begging me to pick him up as he just wants to go to bed. I've asked his mum what she suggests and she hasn't been helpful as she's said he can stay in school if he isn't going to tell them what's wrong with him and she's suggested he's probably lying as she knows he doesn't like Wednesdays at school.

I've not seen him today but I over the messages I do think he is telling the truth as he never messages me whilst at school (and he isn't supposed to be). I haven't spoken to DH as he hasn't answered his phone.

I'm thinking of going and telling them he has a doctors appointment but I know his mum won't be happy but if he is telling the truth I'll feel a bit mean later if I make him stay.

Exactly! The mother did not appear to care or be the slightest bit concerned which is worrying.

Oh come on

he’s 15
she and the op knows he hates Wednesdays
the school was exasperated with him

OP doesn't care

@Gumreduction so he had an accident in the car for the fun of it?

I see your point about it not being ideal, but it's not a safeguarding issue. As a secondary school teacher, you get to know the students who are asking to go because they want 5 mins out of the lesson / want to see their mates (who are doing the same thing in other rooms) / want to text someone. It might be that this lad has a bit of a reputation for calling out and this is why the teacher is being strict about it- no safeguarding issue there. That said, there's clearly something wrong with a child who asks repeatedly so I'd let them go to be honest.

I don’t believe he shit himself in the car, no!

@Gumreduction but you don't know that! Your assuming it's not true but that doesn't mean it isn't.

Or he didn't have an accident at all.

Hence saying “believe” rather than “know”

@butterfliedtwo you nor I will never know whether it happened or did not happen. All anyone can go on is what is written on here.

Exactly.

Op asks mother what to do.
mother says leave it
op ignores and collects

that is the important info

@Gumreduction Completely disagree. OP had the info from her stepson via text messages which has not been disclosed in full on here. She may have been convinced through her own interactions with him that he was being truthful. It was a judgment call and sometimes a stepparent has to risk facing the wrath of the other parent if it means putting the child first.

Good for you OP. Totally the right call and glad your DH is backing you up.

If she was convinced - why ask his mother?

i suspect because then his mother will know that she overruled her

Some absolutely batshit posts on this thread from people hard of reading and happy to fantasise about wicked stepmothers.

OP is an emergency contact, Her second post: I don't have PR but I am on the list as an emergency contact.

He is due to be staying at OP's house in any event tonight, she hasn't snatched him away from his mother. From the OP, very first sentence: Teen SS is due here tonight

His mother thought he was lying because he was not willing to tell the school he has the runs. Not exactly hard to imagine a child being too embarrassed to admit to this. The OP has subsequently informed the school that he has diarrhea by the sounds of it - from her third post: I've called the school and explained and they've said they'll send someone to speak to him and call me back if they think he should be sent home;

It sounds like the school has confirmed they think he is ill, she didn't march in there and insist she take him home. From her 5th post: In the end it wasn't my decision to bring him home, I called the school and told them what SS had told me as suggested on this thread and someone spoke to him and decided it would be best for him to go home. If they didn't call back or called back and told me actually they thought he was lying I wouldn't have done anything else.

Sounds like he missed just over an an hour of school only - from her 4th post: They called back and I picked him up, he doesn't finish until 3:50 so he still had just over an hour.

He's come home to the place he was due to stay tonight anyway. The only reason people want OP to be lying about his accident in the car is because they want to paint her as a lying bitch trying to undermine the mother. When it seems she's been vindicated in not dismissing SS's distress.

I'd question the parenting skills of anyone who is willing to leave their unwell child at school, accusing them of malingering and lying because they are embarrassed about their affliction, when said child has no record of doing this before. Mother doesn't believe him, father uncontactable - thank goodness the boy has the OP.

@MoirasSaggyBundles Very well said and I agree with everything you have written. I am actually extremely concerned how a mother could leave their child at school in that state, it's cruel.

Er no, that's completely not possible!!!

Stay out of it. You have a teen trying to play off his mum and step mum. You also have a teen manipulating you with all his drama about the school. If he is genuinely unwell he will go back to sick bay.

Some microbes like E. coli, Norovirus, Salmonella and Camplylobacter could cause very severe and contagious forms of food poisoning.

There's a kid who's messaging saying he's sick, she has no reason to believe he's lying and you'd honestly just ignore him because his Mom must be assumed omnipotent and omnipresent on all things?

Some mothers are shit. Some are good but fallible. Some SMoms care about their Skids welfare.

You crossed the line. He's not your son and mum specifically said no and decided to over ride her anyway. If you genuinely thought he was poorly you would have found a way to get hold of Dad. You will be very lucky if Mum is angry. I would be furious

God, some of the replies on here. Poor kid with a shit mum who sends him to school with the runs

@tmpbk you did the right thing. I hope your SS feels better soon.

It’s a gripping fast paced thread but all rather dramatic! 😂

The teachers are mean the school is draconian. the mother is cruel. the dad is a useless fecker for not answering his phone .

Thank god for op, the only one to stand up for a teenager with explosive diarrhoea!

What did he cook for himself last night? Some pointers in how to cook might be useful!

I would ring the school and tell them you are aware he has an upset stomach and must be permitted to use the bathroom as required. Can you imagine the misery of not being allowed a toilet break when you have diarrhoea? Also would suggest he is seen by the sick bay nurse if they have one as he may have food poisoning. He is your step son…so you do have responsibility towards him.