To go and pick SS up from school when his mum has said no?

[tmpbk]

More of a wwyd

Teen SS is due here tonight, he's been messaging me and has told me his mum told him to cook his own dinner last night so he did but started to feel unwell, he had the runs 2 or 3 times and told his mum but she sent him to school as it's probably food poisoning not a contagious bug (food poisoning is still just as bad though!) he asked me to pick him up as he feels unwell, he said he's told the school he feels sick but they told him to see how he feels later but because he hasn't been sick they won't send him home, he said he's been to the toilet a few more times but his last teacher had gotten annoyed at him keep asking to go which I can see from her point of view she probably thinks he's trying to skip the lesson. He has her again after lunch and she's told him she won't allow him to go during that lesson.

He won't tell them he has an upset stomach as it's embarrassing (it obviously isn't but he's a teen), I've told him to lie and tell them he's been sick but he said they won't believe him if they haven't seen it but he's begging me to pick him up as he just wants to go to bed. I've asked his mum what she suggests and she hasn't been helpful as she's said he can stay in school if he isn't going to tell them what's wrong with him and she's suggested he's probably lying as she knows he doesn't like Wednesdays at school.

I've not seen him today but I over the messages I do think he is telling the truth as he never messages me whilst at school (and he isn't supposed to be). I haven't spoken to DH as he hasn't answered his phone.

I'm thinking of going and telling them he has a doctors appointment but I know his mum won't be happy but if he is telling the truth I'll feel a bit mean later if I make him stay.

It tells you in the second line of the OP

This is what I don't understand. At the end of the day, shouldn't the child's well-being be more important than what each parent wants? In my opinion, OP was putting her stepson first.

I wouldn’t have gotten involved, undermining his actual parents especially his mother was the absolute wrong move to make. But you apparently don’t care about what she thinks do you 🙄

Centred his care or pandered to a kid who’s pretending to be sick and who’s mum can see right through him 🙄

Oh get out, I can’t stand it when posters police and make accusations like this.

Does that mean whatever the child wants he gets?

do you not think his own mother knows best?

Did you not bother reading the updates about how he was sick, as agreed by school?

You did the right thing, mn just hates stepmums. I don’t know why schools are so draconian about letting pupils use the loo. I think a decent teacher would have had a quiet word with him and asked if he was okay after the second time of asking.

Stepping over huge boundaries and I'd back off if I were you.
He thinks your a soft touch

I'd be furious if my sons step mum got involved like you have and told him to lie!

@Gumreduction not at all but in cases of health, I would rather err on the side of caution. It depends on the mother as to whether she knows best, I don't know her character to make that judgment.

The OP is being slated simply because she’s a stepmother.

Stepmother wants to collect stepchild who says he’s sick and whose mother has refused:

”You’ve overstepped and undermined his mother and pandered to a manipulative child. Shame on you.”

Stepmother refuses to collect child who says he’s sick:

”How dare you not centre the child, when you became his stepmother you accepted him into his life, you selfish, cruel cunt. Shame on you.”

You see? I paraphrase but it’s always the same. Fucking joke.

He’d just worn them down. It got to only a couple of hours until end of day and they thought “fuck it, he can go”

You are just making stuff up. Guess you think OP is lying about the accident too.

Replace SM with

DM
BF
SIL
DS

indeed anyone other than the father, and the same comments would apply.

You do not overrule the parent

He usually comes here alternate weeks Tuesday after school - Tuesday morning, but we occasionally change it due to various reasons so he comes on a Wednesday after school, which is today.

DH hasn't got a problem with me picking SS up from school which for those who haven't read my posts properly was on the schools decision not mine, and for all of you replying you'd be ‘furious’ if you sent your child to school and they were ‘fine’ and their stepmum phoned the school and they spoke to your DC and made the decision to send them home so SM picks them up? DH has said he would’ve been annoyed with me if I'd just left him at school, and has said he'll message his ex when he's home.

Telling that SM to him for 10 years and not on emergency contact list

Did you read my post? I am on the contact list.

And no, I don't have an amazing relationship with his mum, I doubt many step parents do but we get along for SS although we don't need to talk to each other much now SS is getting older and can tell us things himself.

Bless him. I'm so glad you went to pick him up. How is he feeling now?

You most likely knew what your partner would have wanted you to do in this situation - as I would with mine. Mine would also have been furious with me if I had left his child to suffer in school.

You put your stepson first as opposed to what the mum wants (which may not always be in the best interests of child).

No one, including mothers, is perfect or infallible. Isn't it possible the OP's SS might have turned to her because his mother isn't 'hearing' him, or is falsely assuming he's lying? I think it's a possibility myself. Nothing to do with how well the SS knows the OP/his mum.

And no, I don't have an amazing relationship with his mum

well this sure as heck hasn’t improved it, has it?

But that wasn’t your plan anyway

Or perhaps the OP just wants to help her stepson.

No one can assume what OPs plan or intentions were. You are looking at it from a negative perspective as opposed to a stepmum being worried about her stepson.

Definitely don’t get involved. If his dad wants to, that is up to him.

Poor kid i can't believe that people are more concerned at a poorly child being picked up, than him being left in a awful situation all day because he wasn't believed. And if his mum didn't want step mum to pick him up she could have fetched him herself! Hope he's feeling better soon op.

Why did you bother asking his mother Op? And then completely overrule her anyway