Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

It does sound to me like there's a middle ground that your group has not been adhering to. I think making a token effort to clean up the mess around your child's high chair is essential - get the larger pieces, quick wipe down etc. Plus, you absolutely have to be worthwhile customers - so buying food, not staying for hours, and not being so loud and unpleasant that you put off other customers. I don't know if you ARE like that, but I suspect you might be.

I used to clean up under the high chair when my kids were little. I'd always have wipes on me and I'd just pick up the food, throw it in the lunchbox or whatever and give the floor a quick clean.

I've done those jobs (waitressing, food takeaway) and I think it's respectful to not leave extra work.

Why would you not pick up anything ymthats dropped on the floor? I don't understand? If I drop a chip on the floor while eating, I'd pick it up. Why would it be any different if my dc dropped food? It all gets picked up and put onto one of the plates.

I always clean up after my toddler and am quite surprised anyone doesn't. If she's made a big mess, I'll go and ask for whatever to clean up better.

Cafe staff aren't well paid and they certainly aren't paid to clear up the absolute bombsite small children leave.

If you dropped your food on the floor would you just leave it there?!

Depends what it was and where I was. I'd probably leave it there while I was eating and wrap it up in the napkin after, but not if it was just a few crumbs.

I wouldn't expect to be handed a dustpan and brush in any establishment though. That is rude.

I always cleaned under high chair and wiped it down. It's just good manners

I always picked up food my daughter had dropped. I don't think it's fair to leave it.

I agree their approach is a bit aggressive but It sounds as though this place has had too many bad experiences with parents leaving food on the floor.

I'm stunned you need to be asked to be fair, why would you expect anyone to pick up and clear up after you?

And your tale of leaving the cafe with a screaming, teething baby implies that you felt it was obvious that the cafe owner was BU. You should have cleaned it up before the point you were leaving.

And your mum's suggestion of leaving a bad review confirms that she is as thoughtless as you.

It would appear that the cafe owner has had enough of you, being family friendly is not the same as welcoming parents who leave their mess behind.

How much do you actually contribute to the cafe and how much extra work do you create for them?

A lot of cafes are very short staffed nowadays. There's barely enough staff to clear the tables in my local Costa. Perhaps they just can't cope with small children leaving a huge mess anymore but there must be a politer way of dealing with it.

I always used to clear up after mine at that age. You don't need "cleaning materials", surely you carry baby wipes with you?

It reads like yous have probably been leaving a right mess behind and they are probably fed up with cleaning it up. Perhaps just tidy up about before you leave? Just because they are family friendly does not mean to say they have to clear up loads after you.

I do think people using public spaces should try and leave them as they found them.

The entitlement in this country, always expecting someone to clean after you, is not attractive. Change of culture is overdue.

However wrong it is to leave a mess, that's a dreadful way to treat customers and I wouldn't go back. They need to wipe the table and sweep the crumbs anyway, it's really not causing them extra work.

However if the food dropped was not food you bought in the cafe then definitely it is unfair to expect staff to clear it up. That's really cheeky

I agree with @Excited101 ! Wtf!!

It's also worth remembering that food businesses are being hit really hard right now by rising energy costs, food prices etc and don't have the staff to do extra cleaning nor the seating for those who aren't buying much.

Food service is a tough business with small margins and this cafe is likely a livelihood for someone.

So another reason to clean up after yourself and not leave a shitty review.

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week.

How much do you spend there? And do you buy for your DC or do you use the cafe as a place to give them food you've brought from home or bought elsewhere eg supermarket?

I wonder if the manager is seeing limited cost/benefit in having a group of adults & babies, possibly looking as though they dominate the space and making a lot of noise, plus extra mess, and putting off other customers.

And leaving a mess week after week isn't? OP said manager had already spoken to them about it previously.

I thought you were going to say they expected you to clean the table in which case YANBU but of course you should clear up any food on the floor. You can't expect the staff to have time to sweep/hoover the floor between customers (especially when it sounds like a lot of the food wasn't even bought there!)

I agree with pp, I hate going into cafes with bits of food on the floor/seats and avoid them if I can. So you're probably losing the cafe other customers as well.

Why? OP would have clearly just left it again otherwise. Good for the member of staff who handed her the brush

I think it's a bit of a cheek for you to leave it messy like that. Babies and toddlers in high chairs make a hell of a mess and it's rude to just leave it.

I'd say the cafe staff are sick and tired of the mess left behind every week. Family Friendly means they'll warm a bottle, have highchairs and a kiddie menu. It's also not passive aggressive to hand the OP a dustpan and brush, it's showing a person that leaving someone to clean the floor after you is really bad manners.

I think the cafe was rude, they want it both ways. If you advertise to mums and babies, you expect some mess. You certainly don't push a dustpan and brush at them as they leave.

Yes, where possible you should pick up after yourself. However some places seem to think customers basically have to clean a table so it's good enough for the next customers to sit at. I don't want to sit somewhere that's been cleaned with a skanky babywipe, thanks. You pay more to sit in a cafe exactly because that kind of thing is provided for you.

The same people saying you should clean up every crumb after a baby probably are also the ones who think babies should be escorted out of a cafe the minute they start to cry. OP said her baby was crying. Not a great time to be on her hands and knees cleaning.

What's more, I'm sure there are plenty of older people who drop bits and can't or won't get down to pick it up. It's only when it's women with babies that people get arsey.

I've seen it both sides, I've worked clearing tables in a cafe and it would be very annoying when someone left a 2m radius of mess that needed clearing - preferable if people don't do it, but if you have a cafe some people will make mess.

Simply put.