AIBU?
Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?
goodmorningsunny · 16/11/2022 10:14
I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.
This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.
It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.
To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".
I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.
Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!
itispersonal · 16/11/2022 10:29
When I was out with my daughter as a baby and she made a lot of mess I got up what I could and asked member of staff if they had anything else for me to pick up the mess. Think this is a common courtesy to the staff. Most of the time they would say don't worry.
But many parents unfortunately do not clean up after children when out or let them run riot because the place is 'child friendly'.
JorisBonson · 16/11/2022 10:30
goodmorningsunny · 16/11/2022 10:28
@HeddaGarbled interestingly, we were asked to use that cafe in particular by the host of a baby group we go to, who had a deal with the cafe that they should point mums in our direction! I suppose they don't need the business though. They're sort of half full most of the time so I suppose we're not very valuable customers really. It's just odd that they ask for mother and baby customers and then don't seem to be too happy about us being there!
They're not happy about you leaving shit all over the floor.
Bintymcbintface · 16/11/2022 10:30
YABU, clearing after customers in a busy cafe should be clearing tables, wiping them down and maybe dealing with a few crumbs whilst the cafe is open with more thorough cleaning done once customers have left. It shouldn't be cleaning up the mess made by someone's kid throwing whatever they had all over the floor. If your child makes the mess, damn right you should clean it up
Testina · 16/11/2022 10:30
I expect you’re leaving more than average mess as a group. I also expect you’re not buying much from the café vs the time spent there and mess. Those mum groups in cafés are long behind me now, but I so remember what absolute states some groups around us left their areas in!
Musti · 16/11/2022 10:30
goodmorningsunny · 16/11/2022 10:28
@HeddaGarbled interestingly, we were asked to use that cafe in particular by the host of a baby group we go to, who had a deal with the cafe that they should point mums in our direction! I suppose they don't need the business though. They're sort of half full most of the time so I suppose we're not very valuable customers really. It's just odd that they ask for mother and baby customers and then don't seem to be too happy about us being there!
Because they expected you to pick up after yourself!
oneofthegrayfolk · 16/11/2022 10:30
Yellowpotato · 16/11/2022 10:20
I think they are telling you that they don't want you in there each week!
This!
Pixiedust1234 · 16/11/2022 10:31
Good grief, just how much mess do you make every week for the cafe owner to do this? It really must be a mess 
You should leave a cafe in a similar position as to how you would leave a friends house. Pots left on the table but any food on floor or table is cleaned up.
Don't leave a bad review for this. Dont be that person.
Scottishskifun · 16/11/2022 10:31
I always clear up after my baby it takes 5 seconds whilst they are still in the chair to use a babywipe pick up the pieces and put onto a plate etc to be cleared away.
It's what you would do at home why on earth should someone else do it for you when out?
goodmorningsunny · 16/11/2022 10:31
@Katapolts I always buy food from the cafe because it always ends up being that my DD isn't interested in what I bring for her and always wants what I'm eating, but to be fair some of us do bring our own baby friendly foods. That is a good point, I suppose if it isn't cafe mess, if money hasn't been put through the till for that mess, it is annoying.
SalviaOfficinalis · 16/11/2022 10:33
I always clean up after my toddler. I find his half chewed food mess disgusting and I’m his mother! I don’t expect other people to deal with it.
You don’t need “cleaning materials”. Presumably you always have a packet of baby wipes with you… I just use baby wipes to get everything off the floor. Being offered a dustpan and brush would be great.
Yes they usually say “oh don’t worry about the mess”, but it’s just politeness, I don’t think they actually want me to stop cleaning up.
Branleuse · 16/11/2022 10:33
I think that clearing up excess mess is good manners and I tend to try and leave it tidy , but the cafe owner or staff handing you a broom, and telling off one of the group is shitty and passive aggressive. Customers tidying up after themselves is a bonus and shouldnt be an expectation. After paying a massive premium on food and drinks to eat out and be served, I dont expect to HAVE to clean, anymore than id expect to have to make the lunch and do the dishes after. It kind of defeats the object.
It looks to me like the cafe dont want you guys there, so are going to make you feel like a nuisance. Its up to them I guess, but considering how many cafes end up closing round here, id say they should be careful of their attitude to paying customers. Cant imagine it happening to a group of men.
ChocoFudge · 16/11/2022 10:33
I have always cleaned up after mine, if there aren't enough paper napkins then I ask for blue roll or a dustpan and brush. Tbh I would be judging any parent who didn't bother to clear up after their baby and left it for the staff to do.
LunchBoxPolice · 16/11/2022 10:33
I just use baby wipes to clean up any mess that toddler Dd has dropped on the floor.
If I dropped food or spilt a drink myself then I’d clean it up, so I do the same for any mess my kids make.
Fuuuuuckit · 16/11/2022 10:33
I can't imagine just getting up to leave if my dc had left any sort of mess in a cafe.
Babies can make a lot of mess - if an adult dropped stuff on the floor it's good manners to pick it up. Just because your baby does it doesn't mean that you leave it for the staff to clean. Especially as if they don't manage to zoom over and clean it up as soon as you leave it looks awful for new customers coming to a messy table/floor/chairs.
Leave it as you would expect to find it - or at least only as bad as if it was an adults-only coffee. Tray can be left but would you want to sit down at a table like that?
YABVU - pick up your mess, and yes, if it's that bad ask for a brush! What kind of lesson are you teaching your kids - it's ok to leave a cafe like a bomb site and not pick up your mess?!?
QuestionableMouse · 16/11/2022 10:33
At McDonald's I'd never expect a mum to clean up after their baby or kids but it can be a bit annoying if they've made a huge amount of mess because it takes me away from my actual job role to clean it up. (Customer Experience Leader - aka the person who fixes any complaints and has all the fun stuff for the kids 🤣)
Mañanarama · 16/11/2022 10:34
I wouldn’t dream of leaving a mess on the floor / table / high chair. You’ll find if you ask for a dustpan and brush and some wipes “I’m so sorry, we’ve made a real mess” half the time the staff will tell you not to worry about it. You don’t just leave it, that’s just entitled and slovenly,
PeekAtYou · 16/11/2022 10:34
Family friendly is code for "we have high chairs and a changing table in the loos" not "we value families so don't care if you make a mess"
Yabu not to tidy after a baby. Do you give a big tip to take into account that your table will need more thorough cleaning than a table used by (most) adults ? You should be embarrassed if your group leave a big mess.
OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 16/11/2022 10:36
When I was younger and I worked in a cafe during school holidays etc...... we used to get groups of mums come in and leave a mess with food everywhere, piles of wipes everywhere and it looked disgusting when they left. It used to piss us all off! Clear up after yourself! Ask for a dustpan and 9 times out of 10 they will say don't worry. When you walk away not giving a shit is when it annoys people.
Egarag · 16/11/2022 10:36
I don’t think you should have to but I always look under and around where DD has been sat in case she’s dropped anything, and clear up accordingly. Doesn’t sound like a very welcoming cafe though, maybe give it a wide berth in future.
Branleuse · 16/11/2022 10:36
goodmorningsunny · 16/11/2022 10:31
@Katapolts I always buy food from the cafe because it always ends up being that my DD isn't interested in what I bring for her and always wants what I'm eating, but to be fair some of us do bring our own baby friendly foods. That is a good point, I suppose if it isn't cafe mess, if money hasn't been put through the till for that mess, it is annoying.
Its cheeky to bring food from elsewhere for the children. How many do that. Do they not sell baby or toddler appropriate food?
Sleeptightnightlight · 16/11/2022 10:36
I wouldn't complain or write about this cafe, but I'd also stop going there.
Plenty of cafes are welcoming to parents/small children and have a long handled brush to sweep the floor after every table without it being an issue.
HerMajestysRoyalCoven · 16/11/2022 10:37
I imagine they may be losing custom already due to your presence - if I walked into a cafe and saw a big group of mums and babies I’d go elsewhere - so the mess on top is just the final straw. Yes you need to clean it up yourself, the staff aren’t indentured servants.
Clymene · 16/11/2022 10:37
OhhhhhhhhBiscuits · 16/11/2022 10:36
When I was younger and I worked in a cafe during school holidays etc...... we used to get groups of mums come in and leave a mess with food everywhere, piles of wipes everywhere and it looked disgusting when they left. It used to piss us all off! Clear up after yourself! Ask for a dustpan and 9 times out of 10 they will say don't worry. When you walk away not giving a shit is when it annoys people.
Yes, this. And take up a ton of space and hardly spend any money.
Lovelittlethings · 16/11/2022 10:37
Do you buy the food for your babies in a cafe? I've noticed lots of people buy a coffee but have snacks/food in their bags for their babies. If the cafe are cleaning up food not even sold on site then YABU.
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