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AIBU?

Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

594 replies

goodmorningsunny · 16/11/2022 10:14

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

OP posts:
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HerMajestysRoyalCoven · 19/11/2022 16:15

Citycentre3 · 19/11/2022 14:09

I have just returned from Costa's, where I failed to pick up my baby's half eaten biscuit from the floor. I also took home my cup and my babycinos cup to make up for the overpriced beverages.

Good for you. That served the person who forced you to go there right.

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SleepingStandingUp · 19/11/2022 17:38

Citycentre3 · 19/11/2022 14:09

I have just returned from Costa's, where I failed to pick up my baby's half eaten biscuit from the floor. I also took home my cup and my babycinos cup to make up for the overpriced beverages.

I get that anonymity makes it easier to admit when you act like a dick, so perhaps this post is cathartic for you but what response do you actually expect from people?

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Sennelier1 · 19/11/2022 18:28

@Citycentre3 , excuse me, but are you admitting being a thieve? And teaching your child how to steal? How is the Costa/the people working there responsible for the prices? You might try brewing your own latte next time. Now think about what you've done. You're a bad example.

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MamLu · 19/11/2022 23:39

If it was few crumbs of food I'd be mortified if the owner gave me a dust pan and brush! If it was a lot of mess I'd have asked for one. I suppose it depends on how much mess there was?

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gillys · 20/11/2022 08:36

@threatmatrix , no one tips as it is a community cafe inside a church with a large play area. It’s mostly run by volunteers , so we don’t get paid to clear up after peoples kids, we do it to keep a nice environment & we appreciate people clearing up after themselves. Someone left a pile of baby sick for us last week, which was good of them !
Really wonder what some peoples homes are like.

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threatmatrix · 20/11/2022 11:03

gillys · 20/11/2022 08:36

@threatmatrix , no one tips as it is a community cafe inside a church with a large play area. It’s mostly run by volunteers , so we don’t get paid to clear up after peoples kids, we do it to keep a nice environment & we appreciate people clearing up after themselves. Someone left a pile of baby sick for us last week, which was good of them !
Really wonder what some peoples homes are like.

Precisely. You’d think people would tip knowing you are all volunteers. That would make me clean up even more. People are so rude and ignorant these days. I’m glad i’ve just sold my place.

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bloodyeverlastinghell · 20/11/2022 16:19

threatmatrix · 20/11/2022 11:03

Precisely. You’d think people would tip knowing you are all volunteers. That would make me clean up even more. People are so rude and ignorant these days. I’m glad i’ve just sold my place.

I used to go to a cafe in a church place; you didn't tip but chucked a quid or two into the donations box on the way out. It's a bit strange to tip a volunteer, sort of assume if they wanted money they'd get a job.

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threatmatrix · 20/11/2022 20:48

bloodyeverlastinghell · 20/11/2022 16:19

I used to go to a cafe in a church place; you didn't tip but chucked a quid or two into the donations box on the way out. It's a bit strange to tip a volunteer, sort of assume if they wanted money they'd get a job.

And it would be nice if people did so they could save it up and perhaps treat themselves. Surely they deserve a tip more than anyone.

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bloodyeverlastinghell · 21/11/2022 14:13

threatmatrix · 20/11/2022 20:48

And it would be nice if people did so they could save it up and perhaps treat themselves. Surely they deserve a tip more than anyone.

Im sure they do but they need to have a box/ bowl/ jar for tips. You couldn’t just randomly give someone a quid.

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threatmatrix · 21/11/2022 15:28

Really? Tips can be left on the table on a saucer. Have you never tipped before?

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bloodyeverlastinghell · 21/11/2022 16:52

threatmatrix · 21/11/2022 15:28

Really? Tips can be left on the table on a saucer. Have you never tipped before?

Well you put away your own tray and plates. They provide spray/ wipes/ dustpan and brush so you leave the table/ high chairs ready for the next customer. They clean at the end and provide baby cuddles whilst you nip to the loo. You’d have to tip at the counter really.

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gillys · 21/11/2022 17:07

@bloodyeverlastinghell
I don’t expect a tip at all, as you say, I’m volunteering. My point was no one offers. We do have a donation box & if anyone did offer me a tip I would be putting it in the box. However the best thing people can do is help us by reducing their mess.

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steff13 · 21/11/2022 17:59

I always clean up before we leave. To a reasonable degree, I mean; I don't bus my own dishes in a restaurant where that's not the norm, but I'll wipe up any spills, stack the dishes on the table, etc. And certainly pick up anything off the floor.

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threatmatrix · 21/11/2022 20:03

If you wanted to tip you’d find a way. I always do. But I know people in this country don’t like tipping. My staff used to bend over backwards for the tippers.

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EconomyClassRockstar · 22/11/2022 00:34

It's been an entire childhood since any of my kids were in a highchair but even back then, you cleaned off the high chair and used napkins to pick up the mess they'd dropped on the floor. Unless you're at Chucky Cheese and then it's a free for all.

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PinkSyCo · 22/11/2022 03:45

goodmorningsunny · 16/11/2022 10:14

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

They are making you feel unwelcome on purpose because they have had enough of the fact that you don’t care about how your messy, screaming babies affect staff and other customers. Take the hint and take turns with having your mother’s meetings in your own homes.

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MandieM · 22/11/2022 08:05

Family friendly does not mean ”Messes welcome, please trash the place.” Think of it this way, how would you feel sitting your child down in another babies mess because the staff doesn't have time to run a cafe & a day care.

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Blueink · 22/11/2022 11:36

It’s not anti child, people are fed up with the entitled parents who makes no attempt to supervise their child making a mess in the first place or manage their child’s behaviour in a public space.

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Shycookie · 23/11/2022 02:08

I read alot of the replies and im tired of all the entiled people who think that they are better than everyone else...to the poor mom I am very sorry this happened to you..it has happened to me..its very stressful to deal with a overly tired teething baby. ..Everyone including ADULTS make a mess in restaurants and cafes.. the employees do get paid with tips and lil salary to keep the restaurants and cafes clean including cleaning tbe tables and sweeping floors Meaning it's ther job to sweep the floor after babies, kids and Adults that make a bit of a mess.. I clean up and stack my dishes after I eat but sweeping tbe floor or a FEW bits of food is uncalled for if I were you I would leave a review about how they are not family friendly unless u want to sweep the floor.

For the people who are being so entitled: how would you like it if they handed you the broom and dustpan because you or your parent dropped a napkin or a piece of food.???

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Porridgeislife · 23/11/2022 05:37

@Shycookie adults typically don’t spread food all over the ground when they eat. Having to pull out the chairs and completely sweep the floor is not part of turning over a table, it’s an end of day task, and if you think it’s acceptable as either a non-parent or parent to leave the table in such a state then yes you are very entitled.

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StoppinBy · 23/11/2022 05:38

Shycookie · 23/11/2022 02:08

I read alot of the replies and im tired of all the entiled people who think that they are better than everyone else...to the poor mom I am very sorry this happened to you..it has happened to me..its very stressful to deal with a overly tired teething baby. ..Everyone including ADULTS make a mess in restaurants and cafes.. the employees do get paid with tips and lil salary to keep the restaurants and cafes clean including cleaning tbe tables and sweeping floors Meaning it's ther job to sweep the floor after babies, kids and Adults that make a bit of a mess.. I clean up and stack my dishes after I eat but sweeping tbe floor or a FEW bits of food is uncalled for if I were you I would leave a review about how they are not family friendly unless u want to sweep the floor.

For the people who are being so entitled: how would you like it if they handed you the broom and dustpan because you or your parent dropped a napkin or a piece of food.???

How did you not notice that you are part of such a small minority of people who think like this and if you did notice it, did it not occur to you that given how few people share your opinion that you may be in the wrong?

Bit ironic of you to be calling other people entitled.

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DrMarciaFieldstone · 23/11/2022 05:41

Shycookie · 23/11/2022 02:08

I read alot of the replies and im tired of all the entiled people who think that they are better than everyone else...to the poor mom I am very sorry this happened to you..it has happened to me..its very stressful to deal with a overly tired teething baby. ..Everyone including ADULTS make a mess in restaurants and cafes.. the employees do get paid with tips and lil salary to keep the restaurants and cafes clean including cleaning tbe tables and sweeping floors Meaning it's ther job to sweep the floor after babies, kids and Adults that make a bit of a mess.. I clean up and stack my dishes after I eat but sweeping tbe floor or a FEW bits of food is uncalled for if I were you I would leave a review about how they are not family friendly unless u want to sweep the floor.

For the people who are being so entitled: how would you like it if they handed you the broom and dustpan because you or your parent dropped a napkin or a piece of food.???

I don’t know of any adults who leave lots of food strewn all over the floor in cafes. How rude of them, if they do.

Having an overtired, teething baby is no excuse. Go home, if they’re that bad.

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PickyEaters · 23/11/2022 06:18

You lot are lucky. In my local coffee shop the customers normally have to clear the table before sitting down!

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Mañanarama · 23/11/2022 10:36

DrMarciaFieldstone · 23/11/2022 05:41

I don’t know of any adults who leave lots of food strewn all over the floor in cafes. How rude of them, if they do.

Having an overtired, teething baby is no excuse. Go home, if they’re that bad.

I knew one, and I refused to go out for food with her and our kids because her attitude was entitled and embarrassing. Smushed up food smeared all over high chairs, so much food trodden into on the floor. I cleared up after HER kids a couple of times before I’d had enough.

We’d been good friends for 15 years before that and she asked why and I told her exactly why, and she just said “it’s their job”. Stalemate / lost a mate.

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eastegg · 23/11/2022 10:47

Shycookie:
Staff are paid to sweep the floor so I won’t do it. But you lot are all entitled’.

Riiiiiight.

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