Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

I do not think that is true. If adults drop food on the floor they do tend to pick it up.

Is OP going to come back and say they all spend a fortune each week, tip well, apologise for the mess?
Yes, it sounds as if the cafe will be glad to see the back of them. So perhaps the manager achieved her objective. Can’t ban them for being slobs, but making them flounce of their own accord? Very effective.

They’ve probably reached their limit with it. Almost without exception groups of parents with small children leave a horrific mess. Wipes, food chunks and spillages all over tables and on the floor. Not to mention the volume of noise. Stay ages and consume just a few drinks and cakes usually.

I always clear up after my messy toddlers. It’s just good manners.

So grim when poor staff have to get on their hands and knees to pick up half chewed toast/rice cakes off the floor.

i use wipes to pick it all up and wipe up any crumbs. I also clean the high chairs

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby?

No.

Is it unreasonable to walk off and not attempt to clean up the mess your baby made on the floor?

YES.
Hugely disrespectful, not to mention just awful behaviour in general. I’ve been in cafes & pubs and seen the mess left by some entitled parents that think the staff are there purely to clean up after them. You(r offspring) made the mess, you clean it up. It’s basic manners.

I have two young children and always, always tidy up the mess. I pick up food from the floor with a napkin and use another to collect debris that's (normally) all over the table and high chair. It is out with the realms of normal mess. Leaving it all for the staff is very entitled and rude.
Sometimes the staff say "don't do that, we are used to it!"

Who cares if you have a baby?! Stick it in the buggy or on your hip and get on with it.

I'm wondering how much mess you and your friends have been making, and for how long, before the owner of the cafe got fed up enough to ask you to clean up after yourself. Some of my favourite cafes have been ruined by people bring children and making a mess.

Tbf I see people on their laptops in cafes taking up a seat for hours and only buying a coffee. They also have loud ‘Teams’ calls that the whole cafe has to hear. I don’t think we can single out mothers of babies for being noisy and not spending a lot relative to how long they occupy space.

I always clean up any dropped food and wipe around.

A few crumbs and empty raisin boxes is totally fine IMO

if they could see the floor needed sweeping from across the cafe then there was probably a lot of food on the floor

also it is not great for business when a group buys one coffee each and stays in there for 2 hours, that’s a table you could potentially have filled three times with food orders. It’s a bit rude when spelled out like that but true.

I always use a wet wipe or similar to wipe up after my kids in cafes. They make more mess than your average adult so it’s only fair.

I have seen SO many mums take the piss and leave huge amounts of mess behind in cafes, including leaving packets of baby/ toddler food that they’ve not bought at the cafe (and often the kids are old enough that they could eat food from the cafe so I think it’s cheeky to bring food for them in the first place). It’s so disrespectful.

The cafe probably is family friendly but that doesn’t mean that the staff won’t get fed up with parents who take up a lot of space with buggies, don’t spend much and leave a lot of mess.

If I see the mess that average mum and baby groups leave in my local cafe I’d say def not unreasonable.

you say you normally struggle to clean up as you don’t have the equipment….

then when they give you a dustpan, you are offended 😂

Scenario you describe: baby is screaming and teething, you leave a mess… do you think this improves the ambience for the other customers?

sometimes better to get a takeaway coffee and have it in the park 😬 (well, that’s what I used to do)

I've always cleaned all food up using wipes and putting big chunks into empty plates, or in Tupperware to go home and binned (if I brought snacks out etc - allergy child, so usually bought mine and supplemented their food in cafes etc).

I have sometimes had people say to me "don't worry" when they have come over with cloth etc, but I think it is very rude and entitled not to try.

Of course you clean up after your baby. A few crumbs is one thing but food on the floor is not ok. I use a napkin to scoop up the big bits of food and then a second for a general wipe.

The staff aren’t there to clean up after your mess. And I say that to someone who’s taken my toddler to 5 star hotels and restaurants in countries where the wait staff expect to do everything for you…I still clean up my child’s mess rather than walking away and leaving it for someone else.

Can’t believe you / your mum would even consider leaving a negative review when it’s you who caused the problem.

Don't they have paid staff?
Don't paid staff monitor the floor?
Don't they clear the tables?
I would be going elsewhere in future

I really don’t get the ‘showing lack of respect for the staff’ angle. They are being paid to serve and clean up after people, that’s the role. Or do you all clear and wipe down the tables and do the washing up after too?

I used to spread a muslin out underneath the highchair beforehand. If I didn't do that, I might ask for a brush and dustpan. More often than not the staff would tell me not to worry about it.

Obviously you should clean up after your baby. I'm always shocked by the state in which some people leave cafés after their young children have been there (ditto the way some people leave the cinema, even without young children, but that's another matter). Some cafés will prefer to deal with it themselves, but the assumption should be that you will at least offer every single time your child has been eating there, regardless of whether you have offered in other places on other occasions. Family friendly doesn't mean feel free to leave a mess on the floor.

I would always clean up any food on the floor that my DD dropped. But I do think it's unreasonable for a restaurant/cafe to expect it and hand over a dustpan and brush without being asked.

I think it’s a pity you didn’t set up the voting because it often doesn’t represent the comments.
I think it’s always unreasonable for a cafe to hand a customer cleaning equipment - at least for food. I might reconsider if it were actual excrement or other hazardous substance.
Whether or not you were unreasonable I don’t know. Be as considerate as you can be without carrying cleaning materials.

Having worked extensively in cafes / restaurants / bars when I was younger, I can confirm there is a certain section of the British public who view those working in hospitality as a sort of sub-standard servant class - middle-class parents (mothers AND fathers) undoubtedly being the worst offenders.

I agree with the poster above - if I went into a cafe and there was food all over the floor I would leave again.

I had my dc quite close together and we made messes in cafes of course, and I always cleaned up after myself. 9 times out of 10 the request for a dustpan & broom was met with surprise and sometimes the staff would insist on doing it for me, but if I want to be welcomed back to a nice cafe I leave it as I expect to find it.

I clean up after 2yo DD. My benchmark is anything on the floor & big bits on the table top into a nappy bag, quick whizz over table & highchair with a baby wipe. To be fair, this also encompasses the mess DH tends to make too.

Also pop the wipes, plus wrappers, basically anything that I brought with me (ie not napkins, or sugar packets provided) into the nappy bag too and sling it in the changing bag to bin at home.

I think there's a huge difference between crumbs and cake wrappers (for example) and lots of food and spillages. People shouldn't need to be told to clear large messes but it sounds from various people here that they do. I'd be so embarrassed to walk away leaving my mess for someone else to clear.

Totally agree with what the cafe did here!
I have worked in both cafes and restaurants and some customers are like pigs - food everywhere, napkins and wipes thrown on the floor and they don't care.