Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

Mine are older now but I still do "the under the table check"!
Hard habit to break.

Though in this instance I think handing you a brush pan and brush is too much.

I'd always tidy up the "big bits" and do a quick grab and wipe with a napkin (if disposable) for smaller bits but I would never go as far as using a brush and pan!

This thread is gonna be in one of the newspapers for sure, or daytime telly

It's just really poor manners to leave a mess on the floor. I'd imagine all of us who've got kids have at some point been in this exact scenario with tired, fractious babies and a bit of a mess to deal with. You just get on with it and sort it out quickly by either asking for a dustpan and brush or picking up the bits of dropped food with a napkin or baby wipe if you can't attract the attention of a staff member. Leaving the mess for the staff just signals that you believe them to be beneath you. It's extremely rude.

If your baby is poorly or teething or so tired that you simply can't spare the 10 seconds it takes to clean up your own mess then you shouldn't be eating out. Save it for another day when you can be respectful of the place you're eating at and the people who work there.

Are you related to the woman who left her short-term rental in a complete state as well, “because kids”? I much prefer cafes that give you a dustpan and brush to do the clear-up to ones that dither and hand you a wodge of that rubbish blue paper roll stuff.

It’s hard work being a waiter, and sometimes you are doing numerous jobs and usually short-staffed. Many parents are not only indulgent slobs who leave a table in a filthy state, they also usually don’t tip, despite the extra work.
So wait staff are left with additional cleaning to add to their list of tasks, and the other customers bitch because service is slow.
So yes. Just like on a train. Take your crap to the nearest bin and wipe down a few surfaces. And that includes nappies and food your child has dropped and smeared.
Or is Being A Mother an automatic cop out for being a reasonable human being?

Oh totally! And bring out endless snacks and food from their bags for the kids while they have 1 coffee and a slice of cake/teacake that they make last about 2 hours. They want the pushchairs near the tables so you end up moving tables around so they can all fit in etc.....

Can you tell I'm still bitter about my teen job 🤣🤣

I always clean up after my toddler, and ask for a dustpan & brush if necessary; nine times out of ten staff say not to worry about it, but if you show willing to clear it up yourself it's better manners than just assuming they'll clean up after you. I've even considered getting a little dustpan to keep in the buggy!

I can't stand it when I go into a cafe and there's mess on the floor however I'm going to go against the grain here and say I would not expect you to be asked to clean it up.

As a reasonable person I'd expect you to do your best to pick up the worst of it but after that I expect the cafe to clean the table and floor after each customer.

I've seen people make horrendous messes and make no attempt to clean, in one case spilling an entire bowl of soup and just moving to another table without so much as putting a napkin on it! They are very unreasonable but it's up to the cafe to ensure the table and floor are clean before they're used again, I certainly wouldn't expect to be handed a dustpan and brush.

I always cleared up/asked for a dustpan when mine were in the messy high chair stage. No one wants to go to a cafe with food on the floor.

Also if your baby is screaming, noones going to appreciate that. Maybe shes refusing a nap because youre out doing baby groups and meetings?

Im still not saying the cafe handled it best way, but i think your group is probably more intrusive than you think. Screaming babies, parents bringing food from home, and then leaving a mess? You need to find a better solution.
Mother and toddler groups used to be where id socialise with other mums. You can get coffee and biscuits, but people there expect baby noises and messes

Family friendly doesn't mean bring a packed lunch for the kids and leave mess

Agree with this it's pretty much what I'd do with DD.

Also and I mean this kindly, they may be family friendly but if they regularly have groups of mums with big buggies taking up space, high chairs and mess from each child and maybe taking up a big corner they probably do get cheesed off occasionally.

I always pick up any big bits and put everything neatly on the tray, although my kids are older now, so its not an issue. It is hard to clean round these days, as often you aren't even given a serviette.
But any cafe that handed me a brush and pan, wouldn't be getting my business again.
I do wonder where all these clean and tidy MNers are in real life, everytime I go to the cinema there is crap thrown everywhere, people who clean up are a minority.

I hate having the joy of spotting an unoccupied table in a busy cafe absolutely squashed by finding it a sticky mess with food all round your feet and on the chairs.

It's so selfish. Definitely parents responsibility to pick up dropped food and spillages. Staff should only have to clear plates and give the table a quick wipe between customers.

People should show a bit of courtesy to others. ☹️

They don’t like your group mums and babies take up lots of room, stay ages, don’t spend much buy a coffee and feed children snacks from home. Then you leave a mess. Not always and not everyone but often.

I haven’t read the full thread. When mine were small we used to preempt this and ask for a dustpan and brush to clean up. Sometimes they gave us it and we did. Sometimes they said it’s okay we will clean up. I did like to offer though.

Why wouldn't you offer to clear up after your child anyway? Its decent behaviour.

It sounds as if your group leave a mess and mostly bring their own food for the children. Unless the child is an ebf babe in arms, it's just rude.

If you dropped your food on the floor would you just leave it there?!

I used to go to an independent cafe in Hackney that was always full of mums & babies. I remember going in once and there was mess everywhere, food on the floor & liquid spilled on plates & tables. And one poor staff member clearing it up. I sympathised with her and she said that it was quite normal & that one mum even expected staff members to stop her child leaving the cafe! Leaving a lot of mess for others to clear up is very entitled imo. I always asked for a cloth or dustpan to clean after my DD when she was little.

They are clearly telling you your group's behaviour is unacceptable.

Cafe staff are there to make and serve food and clear tables. Not to clean extensive floor and crevice messes. Having done the job before we were staffed to the absolute minimum so were rushed off our feet. The arrival of 'mummy and baby groups' would create utter despair as 15 humans would take over several tables, half the cafe was jammed with prams, they'd order 5 coffees and two scones over 2 hours and leave the place smeared in brought in toddler food, a trillion napkins soaked in some unknown extrusion, gummed up bits of scone and unknown green goo in between seat crevices and the floor. Cleaning it up would take away one server for quite sometime as the fear of complaints from the next customers to sit there would impact on our pay. That was well before social media too. All it would take is for the next customer to infer it was a messy dirty place on a local Facebook page for revenue to be hit.

So many times I've had to sweep away gummed, cakey detritus from a seat in a cafe before sitting down where clearly a mummy group had been before but staff simply didn't have time to deal with it.

Clean up your mess. At least try.

You can't just leave a mess on the floor, the next customers would probably be okay with their table having a quick wipe down when they arrive, don't think they'd enjoy waiting while all the squashed food is swept up (if they haven't already stood on it)!
I've always picked up the big bits from the floor with our 2, if any is left I ask for a dustpan and brush. I've always been told it's okay and they'd do it, but I wouldn't mind taking a couple of minutes to do it.

I always used a baby wipe to wipe up and pick up food my kids dropped on the floor. Crumbs on a table are normal cafe mess. Food on the floor is not and you need to clean up after yourself. Do not whilst the kids are still in the high chair and it is easy. No jugglging of the baby required. They sit and you clean and then you leave.

Absolutely you clean up baby/toddler mess as it’s more than a few crumbs. I used to use a baby wipe or two to quickly scoot round under the baby seat, in the baby seat itself and around the table. You just need to clear up the extra mess, it’s really rude to just leave it for the cafe staff.

Not doing so is very inconsiderate and the idea of leaving a negative review, because you’ve had to be reminded of your manners when out in public with your baby, is just pretty shocking tbh.

YWBU to leave a big mess but SWBU to hand you a dustpan and brush is a bit much.