Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

Two rude gestures don't make a polite one. The correct thing to do would be the OP to clean up to a reasonable degree (bearing in mind her baby was screaming at the time so other customers would probably be looking forward to her departure) and for the member of staff to ask her if she needed any help.

Family friendly.
I think that description needs clarification, because some parents really seem to think it means do what you like, pay as little as possible and staff will smile and coo because Mummies And Babies are Gods.
It usually means something less all encompassing. Friendly staff, suitable seating, some flexibility with food choices and serving options, a few distractions such as colouring materials.
But a horde of noisy, messy, entitled people? At least football fans, hen and stag does and the like tend to spend well.
Yes, a lot of hospitality places are starting to look at the numbers and profits and make hard decisions.

I always clean up after my baby in cafes. Although I think you should take the hint you’re not welcome if they are giving you a dustpan and brush and not go there anymore.

What's more, I'm sure there are plenty of older people who drop bits and can't or won't get down to pick it up It's only when it's women with babies that people get arsey

Absolutely @Dogtooth About almost anything.

I worked in a cafe where a group of mums came in every week and the table was really bad after
they used to give it a little wipe round with a baby wipe but leave the baby wipes on a plate with food all over
dropped crusts, baby crisps etc all over floor, empty Ellas kitchen pouches on the table
used to have to wipe down the chairs fully as well
i would have loved to just hand them a sweeping brush but I was only about 19 so I used to just seethe internally
they also used to put poopy nappies in the bin not in a nappy bag so we had to empty the bin when they left too as one day a woman complained about the smell (one small toilet with baby change and a plastic bin for waste) , one of the babies must have been prone to especially stinky poop because it was eye watering
I have a baby now and I always bag up wipes I use on her hands and face and wipe the table with one and pop it in the bag too. If she does a really offensive nappy when out it gets double bagged before going in bin or I take it and pop it in an outside bin. Just like I wouldn’t Chuck it in my kitchen or bathroom bin at home why would I do so in a cafe

Sorry but if they advertise as family friendly and provide highchairs then they should know full well babies in highchairs will make a mess I can understand it is annoying and people are often pisstakers and leave a trail of destruction behind them but actually no I think they should clear it up if they don't want baby mess don't advertise as being baby friendly what if you have bad back and cannot bend to clear floor they would have to do it then. Are they rude or very polite when they mention it? If they give you a long handled broom and long handled broom perhaps it wouldn't hurt but I'd you're trying to deal with a baby at same time I am afraid they are being unreasonable and you should go somewhere else where they are actually family friendly and not just pretending to be because they just want your money.

When did family friendly start to mean ‘feel free to treat our premises as you wish without a second thought to the additional work you’re creating for our staff who have to clean up after you and your kids’
It’s clearly not just ‘a few crumbs’ is it? And you’ve said you take in food you bring from home, so it’s not even ‘a few crumbs‘ of their own products.
Honestly, the entitlement!

Family friendly doesn't mean they're happy to keep clearing up your mess. It means families are welcomed. It's shocking some of the states places are left in when kids have been in.

Why is it rude? surely far ruder to make a mess, not acknowledge it and walk away! Waiters and Waitresses are not skivvies, yes they expect to clean up the odd accidental spill and a few crumbs here and there, and wipe down tables ready for the next guests, I bet you'd also be the first to moan if kept waiting to order by a waitress on the hands and knees cleaning up a mess under a table.

Most times if you offer to clean up then you will be smiled at and told not to worry but it's depressing the amount of people who just make a mess and walk away, they I would hope not leave their own tables in a such a state, and the lowest of the low is changing your baby either on the floor or the seat or the table and then leaving the dirty nappy in the middle of the table, which used to be common occurrence in the posh tearoom I worked in, honestly people are disgusting!

perhaps they just can't cope with small children leaving a huge mess anymore but there must be a politer way of dealing with it.

Only if they’re bothered about those customers returning.
Which goes back to how much they’re spending.

As a group you could make sure you only feed your DC food you've bought from the cafe, and you should leave a big tip. Then that covers the extra work for staff cleaning up after messy people.

^It’s clearly not just ‘a few crumbs’ is it? And you’ve said you take in food you bring from home, so it’s not even ‘a few crumbs‘ of their own products.
Honestly, the entitlement!^

What, as opposed to the full range of baby food I'm sure the cafe doesn't stock?
Get real. Of course women with babies will bring food with them.

Again, of course the correct thing is to offer to clear up. But two rude actions don't make a right one, the member of staff was still rude to a mum with a screaming baby.

I think it’s polite to pick up any big chunks of food on the floor, leave everything easy to collect. Not obligatory maybe, but polite yes.

I don’t get the mentality of “why should other people clean up after you?” It’s a bit like saying why should someone else have to wash up the cup you’ve drank from? Because that’s what happens in these establishments. It’s not a free ticket to trash the place no, and anyone who does should be asked to leave and not come back, but I do think the onus should be on the business to keep the place clean and hygienic, who will probably do a more efficient and thorough job. It’s accounted for in the price of the food.

I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable going back. I wonder whether they just do this to women with young babies or whether they demand other customers sweep up their crumbs and clean up after themselves too?

Of course you should all clear up after your baby if they have dropped food on the floor. I can't believe this is even a question.

Jeez how much mess did you leave for them to hand you a dustpan and brush?! That's quite impressive

Clean up your own mess. All mums have baby wipes with them.

I always grab a baby wipe to try and get the main bits up off the floor. I am usually told that's it's ok and I don't need to, by whoever works in the cafe.

If I was abruptly handed a dust pan and brush by a cafe owner as I tried to leave, I would take that to mean that I was no longer welcome in the cafe and would go and find somewhere else to have coffee and cake.

Definitely don't go there again, OP.

I can’t imagine leaving food on the floor for others to pick up, if my child makes a mess like that I always attempt to clear up or apologise if I cannot

What’s wrong with someone they gp into establishments, have shite chucked on the floor and expect others to clean it and even worse want to leave a bad review and hurt the business as you’ve to clean up after yourself.

Fuck me. How utterly rude and entitled.

Always cleaned up after my DC’s in cafes and restaurants.

I pick up any mess from the floor and large bits of food from the table before leaving as common courtesy. Children might have made the mess but the adults with them know that leaving food / crumbs everywhere is a bit thoughtless and lazy. It’s totally different to leaving opened crisp packets or anything that needs a quick wipe with a cloth.

Also this is for another thread but when a baby is really young like 6-15 months and just sort of gumming kiddielicious wafers and a crust off your toastie I think it’s fine to bring your own food but I have a friend with a 2 year old we go to family friendly places and she will get a coffee and get out a lunchbox with a sandwich, crisps, drink for her little boy and I do think it’s cheeky. He will finish it and instead of buying a yoghurt or something in the cafe she gets more snacks out - raisins, brioche etc . At least buy a kids sandwich or a tea cake or crumpet or something. I get bringing your own cup with water as kids need a lidded cup and there’s no need to give them a fruit shoot or anything but it seems a bit rude to me! We could have just gone to someone’s house for a coffee instead of her packing a full picnic to eat in the cafe

This. ‘Family friendly’ apparently means let your kids run amok and let your babies lob stuff all over the floor.

We are members of David Lloyd and the mess some people leave on the tables and on the floor is awful. It shows complete lack of respect for the staff, and shows your children that they can leave mess and expect someone to just clean up after them.

If you are making enough mess that someone would need to use a dust pan and brush to clean up after you, and you are leaving the mess, your entitlement is staggering. Babies in high chairs are messy and drop food constantly, it is your job to clean up after them.

I'd usually pick up big bits, but not sweep up crumbs and small bits of food with my hands.
If they brought me a dustpan and brush I'd use it, but not go back. I've previously asked for something to clean up with and been told not to worry, they will do it.

The benefit of going out to eat, of spending extra money, is that you don't have to cook and clean up after yourself. You're not expected to clean the plates or table yourself, why the floor?

Also, if they were able to notice any mess before you left and bring a dustpan and brush over, they're not so busy that they couldn't take a few seconds to clean it up.

Wonder if they'd also bring a dustpan and brush out to a Dad with a baby.

I going to assume this is just normal kid mess, and not dumping a whole bowl of spaghetti on the floor.

They aren't family friendly.

This is daft. No- you should NOT be sweeping up after yourselves. They should- it’s hospitality offered by the cafe and part of the service. It does not take long to sweep a bit of floor, and you- as the guest/customer- should not be doing it.

Ive worked in restaurants and would be very happy to do it- it’s part of the job.

leave a very factual review- you should warn other parents. This could be a horrible experience for a parent having a hard time.