Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

[N1no]

@Yellowpotato

I think they are telling you that they don't want you in there each week!

I agree!
i worked in a restaurant as a student and we just wiped everything down. It took longer to clean the high chair than the floor.
It wasn’t a big deal and I don’t see the problem.

[Yayhelen]

YABU

I have two kids age 5 & 2 and always clean up any mess they drop on the floor.

I wouldn’t expect the cafe/restaurant staff to have the time to sweep between each customer at busy times and wouldn’t want another customer to slip on/tread on my kids dropped food.

I just do it whilst the baby is still in the Highchair, it literally takes two minutes with a napkin or baby wipe to clear up any obvious mess/pick up any bits.

I don’t wipe the table but if there is a lot of mess on the table I gather it onto a single plate/put it together so it’s easier to sweep into a bin.

[Toomuchtrouble4me]

@weathervane1

I look at it a bit differently. If I walked into a cafe and there was food in the floor, there's a good chance I'll walk back out. I don't want to sit surrounded by mess and my mind says "if it's like that where the customers sit, what's it like in the kitchen?". If the staff are busy and I had caused the mess, I'd think it only right that I should clean it up - to make it look like the sort of place I'd like to eat in. It's only fair.

Well no, the staff should clean the table and floor as soon as the customer leaves, so it’s ready for the next.
I think the cafe owner probably just doesn’t want a bunch of mums sitting for an hour with a coffee each and feeding shop bought snacks to babies.

[Sennelier1]

I'm totally fine going out for lunch with babies and toddlers, but staying in a place with a screaming overtired child? Maybe stay home with her, nice and quiet, untill that damn tooth has come through? And yes, I clean up. Not washing the floor but picking up as much as possible, wiping down a spill with a paper napkin, putting chairs back where they were when I came in. As we say : "I would like to be able to come back here next week" 😊

[Halfordscarpark]

There is a thing in hospitality whereby if a customer asks for a brush and dustpan it is mostly refused as they are at least willing to clean it up.
You are wrong to expect serving staff to clean up a big mess. I always used to clean up my kids mess with a wipe. Hospitality is struggling at the moment with staff shortages, and low customer footfall, we should be mindful of helping each other.

[rookiemere]

I think the cafe has made it clear by asking the table to clear up on two consecutive occasions, that they do not want their custom.

They've probably done the maths on money spent versus tables used for x hours and time taken to clean. Oh and the kicker is probably finding lots of empty Ellas pouches brought from home ( so zero profit) and smeared all over the chair covers.

I generally met up other DMs at baby and toddler groups when DS was young. Coffee and a biscuit included in the entrance price. Although everyone was expected to take their turn to tidy up- although even there some entitled madams thought that their £2.50 also included another DM cleaning up after them.

Take the hint OP, find a new venue.

[vickylou78]

I have always cleaned up after my babies in cafés. Takes just a minute to pick up food chunks off floor in a wetwipe and put in in a tissue on the plates for the cafe staff to clear away. I think it's awful you expected to just walk out and leave it.

[jewishmum]

As a former cafe assistant I can tell you if rather you left the crumbs and food bits on the floor so I can easily see that it needs cleaning. If you pick up all the larger bits and leave the crumbs the crumbs might get missed by the staff and it will look bad to the next customers who sit there.

[Trylessonslearned]

Having helped out in a cafe I would never expect the customer to clean up after there baby /toddler. However I would appreciate the carer/mother picking the larger bits up. I would then sweep up around that table before other customers judged cafe on the floor mess.
People come out to cafe to enjoy the coffee/service otherwise may as well be at home.

[wentworthinmate]

Are you in there for a very long time and only have one coffee and make lots of noise? He's probably trying to get you to go elsewhere without being outright rude.

[Justbefair]

Always cleaned up before leaving, it's just the right and polite thing to do. Just the paper napkins, tissues or wetwipes do the trick and sure most Mums have these handy! I find it rude and entitled when people don't tbh.

[Mumof32017]

I’m on your side with this. There’s cleaning up after your kids and then there is being the cafe cleaner. I will always clean up if my kids drop bits because that’s just me but I’m not down for sweeping every last crumb because there’s not a single person out there who can say they’ve never dropped crumbs on the floor of a cafe. They should be periodically sweeping etc throughout the day anyway so demanding this of you is pathetic.

[franbrad]

Agree with this post

[sadiewt]

@Halfordscarpark

There is a thing in hospitality whereby if a customer asks for a brush and dustpan it is mostly refused as they are at least willing to clean it up.
You are wrong to expect serving staff to clean up a big mess. I always used to clean up my kids mess with a wipe. Hospitality is struggling at the moment with staff shortages, and low customer footfall, we should be mindful of helping each other.

Alienating customers is not going to help ailing hospitality trade!

[gillys]

I work in a cafe & am gobsmacked by the amount of parents who get up & leave a load of mess without attempting to tidy any of it up. Soooo entitled. I’m not expecting people to sweep up crumbs but pick up the large chunks of food your child has chucked on the floor before it gets trodden in.
Pretty sure if you arrived in a cafe that looked a mess you wouldn’t be happy & would complain !

[Mrseds]

The best thing to do regardless of the amount of food on the floor is to ask for a dustpan and brush, worked in the food industry myself and it’s annoying having to clean up after other peoples kids, but the simple gesture to clean up your self usually results in being told it’s not a problem, thankfully my boys are older but that what I always did x

[phoenixrosehere]

@gillys

I work in a cafe & am gobsmacked by the amount of parents who get up & leave a load of mess without attempting to tidy any of it up. Soooo entitled. I’m not expecting people to sweep up crumbs but pick up the large chunks of food your child has chucked on the floor before it gets trodden in.
Pretty sure if you arrived in a cafe that looked a mess you wouldn’t be happy & would complain !

Exactly.

In this situation, OP has little excuse for not tidying up after hearing about another mum getting told off by the cafe manager earlier. She was about to do the same thing until she herself was stopped by the cafe manager. Plus if it was as small as OP says it was, she could have picked it up when her child dropped or noticed her child was dropping bits on the floor. It doesn’t even take a minute to do so unless you weren’t paying attention to what your child was doing. The cafe manager was obviously fed up with such behaviour by other parents hence the broom.


As pps have said I dislike this assumption that family-friendly means allow your child/children to run wild and make a mess. Yes, children are still learning, but this is where parents are supposed to be leading by example and teaching them (when age-appropriate) to tidy after themselves and not leave a mess. This whole “it’s the worker’s job” thought process is probably the reason so many public places are in the state that they’re in, especially the loos.

I also like the trolley analogy that a poster used up thread. Think it sums it up quite well. It’s not just about the worker but the other people likely to be effected.

[threatmatrix]

Speaking as a cafe owner does your table always leave a mess, do you eat and leave or chat for ages buying nothing, do you leave a good tip and are your baby’s always screaming. Maybe they don’t want you there. Waitresses are not employed to clean up your mess. Having to clean floors takes time and when your busy it holds up tables. Also leaving packets not bought on site is a no no and so is leaving baby wipes on the tables. Groups of mums with babies are not the best of customers to be honest. I bet none of you tip, or very little.

[threatmatrix]

@gillys

I work in a cafe & am gobsmacked by the amount of parents who get up & leave a load of mess without attempting to tidy any of it up. Soooo entitled. I’m not expecting people to sweep up crumbs but pick up the large chunks of food your child has chucked on the floor before it gets trodden in.
Pretty sure if you arrived in a cafe that looked a mess you wouldn’t be happy & would complain !

Spot on. Bet they didn’t tip either.

[ZBsmom]

@HerMajestysRoyalCoven

The people saying “if you don’t like standing or sitting in my child’s mess then go to childfree cafe!” are the exact same people who start social media campaigns against cafe owners that ban children.

I know two great cafes where I’d love to go but when both tried to ban young kids, both got hit with social media campaigns from the local mum brigade. They had to relent and now both cafes resemble soft play - filthy, loud, buggies everywhere.

Would love a childfree cafe.

Actually no, I’m one of those ppl that say go to a child free place then if you are bother by children who play and make noise. I also support the business that choose to not allow children. It’s their right just as it is a mom with a child to go someplace and allow her child to act like a child (not free screaming and running all over the place but also not like a little machine or mini adult). I can respect both choices. I myself love kids and love being around them but there are times especially when i’m on a date with my husband or trying to relax kid free is like to go to a place without the kid environment then I look for places that only allow 21+ bc honestly teenagers can be just as obnoxious so I search straight for the 21+ only locations, resturants, hotels etc… bc I PERSONALLY made the choice i’m not in the mood for kids. My choice, my responsibility to find a place that can meet my needs instead of complaining. There is a place for everyone to find there piece without being disrespectful to other who love differently than you.

[CircleofWillis]

Just leaving this here.

[Jaffacakeorisitabiscuit]

[Citycentre3]

I have just returned from Costa's, where I failed to pick up my baby's half eaten biscuit from the floor. I also took home my cup and my babycinos cup to make up for the overpriced beverages.

[rookiemere]

@Citycentre3

I have just returned from Costa's, where I failed to pick up my baby's half eaten biscuit from the floor. I also took home my cup and my babycinos cup to make up for the overpriced beverages.

Would you like some sort of medal for this ?
You do realise you're not obliged to visit Costas, don't you ?

[WeepingSomnambulist]

@Citycentre3

I have just returned from Costa's, where I failed to pick up my baby's half eaten biscuit from the floor. I also took home my cup and my babycinos cup to make up for the overpriced beverages.

Wtf is wrong with you? Well adjusted members of society do not behave like this.