Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

[WelliesandWine88]

I think YABU... It's not difficult to clean the mess your child makes and it's terrible manners to just leave it there for someone else to sort.....

[redjoker]

Did you know this is in the daily mail?

@goodmorningsunny

[undernotover]

WTF! Your entitlement is ridiculous.

It doesn't matter that the mess isn't malicious, it's still mess. In life if we create an issue, even if it's totally accidental, it's our moral obligation to deal with said issue. Be it making mess, breaking something, etc.

And people working can choose how they are treated in the workplace (it should be decently, not disrespectfully and like a skivvy - which decent people do anyway but not a small minority like yourself). The people in this cafe have decided OP isn't treating them decently and so asked her to clean up after herself, and if she refuses they have the right to refuse her service. The same applies if people are rude to cafe staff, they can refuse them service too, you aren't entitled to service in a private business, the social contract goes both ways, you act decently, you get service, you don't and you don't receive the service.

Maybe you need to move on from moaning that everyone else should clean up your kids mess just because you did it in the past, deal with it yourself, and stop complaining.

[Bib1234]

Yes you should clear it up! Even more so if you’ve fed baby your own food

[jejija]

It’s definitely not unreasonable. Why would you leave s negative review?! You should have allowed time to clear it up before your baby got overtired. Not the cafe’s fault that your baby was overtired. I have 3 v young DC and always pick up food from the floor in restaurants and cafes… when they were babies making loads of mess then I would pick up the big food and wipe the area too. You have baby wipes with you so it’s not that hard - the staff have enough to do and it’s pretty gross clearing up chewed and soggy bits of food left by babies even when it’s your own baby so definitely bad if it’s someone else’s!

[Maverickess]

@undernotover

WTF! Your entitlement is ridiculous.

It doesn't matter that the mess isn't malicious, it's still mess. In life if we create an issue, even if it's totally accidental, it's our moral obligation to deal with said issue. Be it making mess, breaking something, etc.

And people working can choose how they are treated in the workplace (it should be decently, not disrespectfully and like a skivvy - which decent people do anyway but not a small minority like yourself). The people in this cafe have decided OP isn't treating them decently and so asked her to clean up after herself, and if she refuses they have the right to refuse her service. The same applies if people are rude to cafe staff, they can refuse them service too, you aren't entitled to service in a private business, the social contract goes both ways, you act decently, you get service, you don't and you don't receive the service.

Maybe you need to move on from moaning that everyone else should clean up your kids mess just because you did it in the past, deal with it yourself, and stop complaining.

Times when I read stuff like this I wish MN had a like button, people (and businesses - but that's a whole other thread) seem to be blind to the fact that right now, especially in jobs like these, people don't have to put up with being treated like a skivvy by entitled people who think they're better than anyone doing this type of work, there's a shortage in hospitality of workers (and the attitude is one reason why) and the places where they're treated with a little respect by the employer and the customers will be the ones who get the staff, this place seems to have worked that out and is insisting that their establishment and staff are treated with common decency in order to keep their staff. Good for them.

[YesNoYesNoYesNoYesMaybe]

I always have a pack of wet wipes in my bag, I just do a quick scoop up of crumbs from the floor and the top of the highchair tray before we go. Never been an issue.

[Porridgeislife]

YABVVU

You should always attempt to clean up if your baby/toddler has dropped food over the floor and chairs.

Child friendly means they have change facilities and don’t mind buggies clogging up the aisles, not that they want to deep clean the floor & furniture after your toddler has thrown food everywhere. There simply aren’t enough staff or resources in most places to do that!

[Chickapea77]

I would have cleaned it up myself, tbh. If you guys go there every week, have a coffee and leave an unholy mess I totally understand the attitude. I have three kids myself but always been baffled at how people feed their babies in cafes and restaurants and leave the highchair and the floor completely covered, completely unbothered. It’s not about being child friendly, it’s about clearing the food your child has smeared all over the place because they are too young to care, you however are not 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Citycentre3]

I think this just feeds into the mentality of the moment, self service check out machines in supermarkets, automatic paying in cash machines in banks, we all just have to plod along doing everyone's job for them, and we are all accepting it like it is normal. Well in my day you had to work for your money, how about that?

[Valeriekat]

@stuntbubbles

Of course you clean up after babies! The mess can be horrendous. I once chased a man down who was leaving a cafe (I was a customer, not an employee) having let his school-age kids drop scrambled egg all over the floor.

Employees are there on low wages to take orders, serve food, take payment, and wipe down tables etc between customers, not do the mega-clean that very small children require. Some cafes will say “please don’t worry”‘and that’s fine, but you should still always offer.

Yes it is the expectation that someone on minimum wage will clean up the mess you allowed your children to make.
You seem to have realised this now.

[Cw112]

@Citycentre3

I think this just feeds into the mentality of the moment, self service check out machines in supermarkets, automatic paying in cash machines in banks, we all just have to plod along doing everyone's job for them, and we are all accepting it like it is normal. Well in my day you had to work for your money, how about that?

I think it's about what is reasonable within someone's job description. For example you expect reasonable cleaning of a table to involve a few spills or crumbs on the table, maybe give the seat a quick brush down and the dirty crockery. This allows the table to be turned over quickly for new customers. Leaving food all over the seats and floor to an excessive amount means that staff can't turn the table around as quickly which impacts on how soon next customers can be seated and served etc literally costing the business money. This goes beyond the reasonable expectation of housekeeping that is expected by the staff. So it's not about not working hard for your money its about leaving things in a reasonable state.

[Citycentre3]

I think it's about what is reasonable within someone's job description. For example you expect reasonable cleaning of a table to involve a few spills or crumbs on the table, maybe give the seat a quick brush down and the dirty crockery. This allows the table to be turned over quickly for new customers. Leaving food all over the seats and floor to an excessive amount means that staff can't turn the table around as quickly which impacts on how soon next customers can be seated and served etc literally costing the business money. This goes beyond the reasonable expectation of housekeeping that is expected by the staff. So it's not about not working hard for your money its about leaving things in a reasonable state.

Sorry don't agree. I naturally cleaned up after choosing to do the job I did. I expect the same from others. I am paying afterall. Just like my previous messy customers payed me.

[Cw112]

@Citycentre3

I think it's about what is reasonable within someone's job description. For example you expect reasonable cleaning of a table to involve a few spills or crumbs on the table, maybe give the seat a quick brush down and the dirty crockery. This allows the table to be turned over quickly for new customers. Leaving food all over the seats and floor to an excessive amount means that staff can't turn the table around as quickly which impacts on how soon next customers can be seated and served etc literally costing the business money. This goes beyond the reasonable expectation of housekeeping that is expected by the staff. So it's not about not working hard for your money its about leaving things in a reasonable state.

Sorry don't agree. I naturally cleaned up after choosing to do the job I did. I expect the same from others. I am paying afterall. Just like my previous messy customers payed me.

Don't get me wrong, I've also worked in public facing jobs where I've dealt with extremely rude and entitled customers and I've gone about doing it with a smile on my face every time because the company employing me is paying me. But that didn't mean I didn't notice that I was being treated as less than by those customers. It didn't mean I didn't feel insulted at times. And I am also entitled to respect within my workplace as are we all. And it's made me a damn sight more considerate when I'm being served by someone as a result. I find it odd that it's made you feel almost like you can be rude and take advantage just because someone was rude and took advantage of you. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Also- while I'm at it- if it's taking more time for seating areas to be cleaned it means more customers are waiting longer than the time you'd expect to wait on a table who may not return. So when you say the messy customers are paying you- how do you know the customers who left or chose not to return wouldn't have paid more into the business making your job more secure or indeed tipped more. How do you know that if upholstery was left in a state the business had to then factor in the cost of cleaning that taking more away from the overall business profit? These things matter especially when so many businesses are struggling to afford to keep their doors open at the minute. They need to maximise profit as tightly as possible and excessively messy customers affect their ability to do that. Because what we are talking about here is excessive mess rather than the normal mess you'd expect from your average dining party.

[Faith77]

It has always left me speechless when I see how groups of Mums leave cafés & restaurants - I mean, if you went to each other's houses would you just leave the host to clean up the mess of several babies or would you all at least try to clean up a little bit?! Hopefully the latter! If there are a few crumbs here and there, fine, but if you have left it looking like a food bomb has exploded, YABVU. At least make a bit of an effort to tidy up, especially if you want to keep using it as a place to meet up.

[Mummyto3boyz]

If you wouldn’t leave it on the floor in your house, don’t leave it on a floor in a cafe?

[Cw112]

Do you know what this thread is reminding me of actually. You know the saying that the best test of 'how to tell a person is a good person' is whether they always leave their trolley back to the trolley bay after using it? I think this is like the same principle- sure there's someone there to gather up the trolleys, but it costs you nothing to return them to the bay and you make someone else's life a little easier as a result. You don't HAVE to do it, but it's still a good thing to do? You don't HAVE to clean up after your child's lunch explosion but it does show respect to the staff working there and costs nothing in the process.

[Citycentre3]

Just to be clear. I am never rude in restaurants or cafes, and I am always polite, however if the staff initiate a rude interaction ie complain about a crumb my child has dropped, I may ignore the first grumble, and give the employee a chance to redeem themselves and see the error of their ways. But if it continues, and the mutterings under their breathe get louder, then I would be forced to say something. I think that is reasonable if you are a paying customer.

[LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet]

Crikey!

The OP’s friend IBVU for being affronted that she was expected to clean up a mess.

The OP IBU to think that ‘family friendly’ = ‘can make as much mess as I like because baby’

[Sennelier1]

I’ve always cleaned up after my chilren - not messy eaters but still children who tend to drop a fry or such. I know my daughter does after her child, a very messy eater. I’ve known her asking the staff for a rag ánd getting one. I consider it only polite. I suppose staff will clean the table in between customers but in a crowded place it’s hard to clean the floor. So, just grab a paper napkin and use it to mop up most of the mess and spills, or ask for a dustpan 😊

[SleepingStandingUp]

@Yellowpotato

I think they are telling you that they don't want you in there each week!

This. Go elsewhere.

I've asked before and been told no don't worry but I'd pick up big bits, babywipe sticky bits, stack our plates etc.

If she's complaining every week either you're all total pigs or she doesn't want a regular load of Mom's and Babies.

You never see anyone approach a group of messy adults and ask them to clean up after themselves

[SleepingStandingUp]

@Mummyto3boyz

If you wouldn’t leave it on the floor in your house, don’t leave it on a floor in a cafe?

To a degree. If I have to get down on my hands and knees at home, it hasn't been walked over by 50 pairs of dirty shoes.

[FlibbertyGibbitt]

This has now been posted in the Mirror and my local rag, have just seen it on Facebook !

[redjoker]

Daily mail and Facebook are all over this thread like a rash.

[youshouldnthaveasked]

Hi, having worked in a very busy well known pizza restaurant I would say yes you are being unreasonable. The amount of entitled parents expecting you to run around after them and expect you to clean up after their dirty messy kids was unacceptable. You are not above cleaning up after YOUR own child.

Perhaps if your baby was not feeling 100% you should have gave your yummy mummy meeting a miss this week.

And it’s bad taste giving the cafe a bad review, your mother is also in the wrong!

Hope that helps!!!