Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

[Puppers]

Are you comparing the cost of visiting a coffee shop every single weekday for a month with the cost of one single visit to soft play? Our local centre charges £4 per child per session (6+ months are chargeable). It’s then £2.50 for a coffee and 50p for juice for the kids. If these hypothetical women who are spending 20 days a month in the coffee shop talking about designer clothes 🙄 visited soft play every day instead they’d be paying an awful lot more than your estimated £228. Based on local costs here (not an expensive area) the 3 imaginary women would be paying £420. Almost double.

The thread is about people who don't clean up after their kids. Bravo for shoehorning in a big old dollop of misogyny and also your bizarre stereotyping of people who visit coffee shops with their friends.

[TheProblemIsMe]

I've always cleared up after my children in cafes. I ask for the dust pan and brush, some people say don't be silly, some people hand it over to me, but I offer/do it because my kids and their mess is my responsibility and it's not fair to rope other people into my chaos even if the establishment is family friendly.

[JudgeJ]

@Cheeseandcrackers86

Yes I forgot this is the UK... the country where we put unbelievable pressure on parents and kids for kids to.... well...... just stop being bloody kids.... and quitely ostracise them for doing so then wonder why there's an epidemic of kids and young adults riddled with crippling mental health problems. It's all good though as long as the damned kids stay in their home and make no noise or mess until they're 18.

Or maybe there is an alleged 'epidemic of kids and young people riddled with crippling mental heath problems' because they are being raised by super-entitled parents who think that the simple act of procreation makes them so very special and the world should bow down to their very existance.
If I had a dog I wouldn't expect others to clean up after it, we even have laws, but parents can get away with it. I doubt that anyone is suggesting there is a problem with crumbs etc but rather the mess created when dear babes are allowed to throw their food on the floor.

[TurquoiseDress]

This thread has made the Daily Mail "news" pages this morning

[Puppers]

@JudgeJ

Or maybe there is an alleged 'epidemic of kids and young people riddled with crippling mental heath problems' because they are being raised by super-entitled parents who think that the simple act of procreation makes them so very special and the world should bow down to their very existance.
If I had a dog I wouldn't expect others to clean up after it, we even have laws, but parents can get away with it. I doubt that anyone is suggesting there is a problem with crumbs etc but rather the mess created when dear babes are allowed to throw their food on the floor.

You're wasting your breath. The sort of person who feels entitled to take up space in a cafe but bring their own food - even if only for some members of their party - and considers it an insult to have it pointed out to them that staying at home or frequenting an establishment that is more suitable for their needs is also an option, isn't going to be receptive to what you're saying. Entitled people don't recognise themselves to be entitled.

[KatieCelf]

Sounds like they should stop advertising themselves as a family friendly cafe tbh. A bit of mess is expected with kids surely! And like you said if it was loads you’d have tried to tidy it but for only a few crumbs it’s a bit ott giving you a dustpan and brush!

[piesforever]

Sorry I've done this before, I'm not perfect and only human.

[piesforever]

Would a man clean up after themselves in a cafe? I'm not sure you know. Not that I'm saying who's right or wrong.

[Cw112]

@CMOTDibbler

When ds was at that stage of dropping things from a high chair (and note that I always bought all his food from the cafe or whatever) I would ask for a dustpan and brush or use wipes to tidy up. Its just polite to the staff

yup this I think it's a little entitled to watch your child make a mess all over the floor and then expect someone else to come along behind you to clean it all up. I know in some places they'll say don't worry we'll get it, but I'm sure the offer is still appreciated.

[Ilovegreatbritishbakeoff]

Of course people should clean up after their babies/children/themselves in public places. If you dropped food in someone else’s home I’m sure you would pick it up and not leave it for them to do. Some of my friends would never clean up and had the attitude that it was the cafe staffs “job”. I found this incredibly embarrassing so whenever we went out with the babies I would always hang back and clean the whole floor round our table.

[Dinomum79]

When my kids were small I cleaned mess up with a baby wipe. By mess I mean food on the floor. I don’t think a cafe should have to clean excess mess.

[ImpartialMongoose]

I'm always amazed at the mess people with kids or babies think it's ok to leave behind. It is utterly selfish, I would never leave a seat in a public cafe is such disarray, it shows absolute disrespect to both the staff who work there and the customers taking that table next. It's like the families who think it perefctly fine to leave a park strewn with their rubbish after a picnic.

[Herejustforthisone]

@piesforever

Sorry I've done this before, I'm not perfect and only human.

Sorry I've done this before, I'm not respectful and only entitled.

Fixed it for you. Next time, use a wipe to pick up your kid’s shit. Takes but a moment.

[Citycentre3]

Before having children, I used to wonder how small children could make such a huge mess.

My job used to involve cleaning up after people, sure I used to moan to other people about cleaning up, but never ever did I complain to the customers. I used to get on with it, and never did I show my annoyance. I used to clean big big messes, on carpet too. Not so easy.

Who knew I could have just huffed and puffed at the customer and asked them to clean it instead? That would of saved hours of my time.

Years later, now that I am the one with small children, I expect the same service in return, and if ever I am met with rude or snide comments about mess, it literally triggers flashbacks of me on my hands and knees scrubbing away quietly, cleaning up after young children that weren't my own.

So no I would not be able to hide my annoyance, if it was good enough for me during my working life, it is good enough for others. It is part of their job to clean up, let them get on with it. If anyone would ever challenge me, I would literally tell them this story. Don't want to clean up after others? Get a new job simple!

The shoe has been on the other foot for me, so I can see both sides, but it is a part of life that small children create big messes, it is what you sign up for when agreeing to cater for young children.

[Shitfather]

You sound entitled. I’d be embarrassed to leave my mess, regardless of how little for others to clean. I always gather the plates and cutlery, wipe my mess, and ensure any rubbish is picked up. DS does the same. It is basic courtesy.

[RoachTheHorse]

I always used to clean up the worst of the mess when I was out with my toddlers. I'd scoop up chips from the floor etc and wipe down the high chair with a wipe etc if they'd covered it in yoghurt or similar. Why wouldn't you do your best not to leave the place a state?

[undernotover]

@Citycentre3

Before having children, I used to wonder how small children could make such a huge mess.

My job used to involve cleaning up after people, sure I used to moan to other people about cleaning up, but never ever did I complain to the customers. I used to get on with it, and never did I show my annoyance. I used to clean big big messes, on carpet too. Not so easy.

Who knew I could have just huffed and puffed at the customer and asked them to clean it instead? That would of saved hours of my time.

Years later, now that I am the one with small children, I expect the same service in return, and if ever I am met with rude or snide comments about mess, it literally triggers flashbacks of me on my hands and knees scrubbing away quietly, cleaning up after young children that weren't my own.

So no I would not be able to hide my annoyance, if it was good enough for me during my working life, it is good enough for others. It is part of their job to clean up, let them get on with it. If anyone would ever challenge me, I would literally tell them this story. Don't want to clean up after others? Get a new job simple!

The shoe has been on the other foot for me, so I can see both sides, but it is a part of life that small children create big messes, it is what you sign up for when agreeing to cater for young children.

God you sound like one of those tiresome people who say 'I grew up with X shitty thing so why should other people get better, they should suffer too', rather than acknowledging that we grow and improve as a society.

In this day and age decent people understand it's a crappy thing to do to look down on people in minimum wage jobs and treat them like skivvys just because 'it's their job' (and btw, as a waitress it's never once been my job to scrub the floor, my job description was serving people and clearing and wiping tables. Cleaners, who were paid more, came after hours to clean the floor. But if your child ruined the place in the middle of the day I'd still have to clean it up despite it not actually being my job).

The fact you get 'flashbacks' means you understand how shitty it is, yet you still want to subject other people to it in some cycle of crappiness just because you also had to do it.

It is part of life that children make messes. It's something you have to consider before you have them, not subject other people too. Your sprogs aren't other peoples problems. And I hope any place that you've left in a state and then been indignant about cleaning up because you're better than that now and it's the people on crappy minimum wages job to do, have banned you from returning (and spit in your food).

[Sirzy]

@Citycentre3

Before having children, I used to wonder how small children could make such a huge mess.

My job used to involve cleaning up after people, sure I used to moan to other people about cleaning up, but never ever did I complain to the customers. I used to get on with it, and never did I show my annoyance. I used to clean big big messes, on carpet too. Not so easy.

Who knew I could have just huffed and puffed at the customer and asked them to clean it instead? That would of saved hours of my time.

Years later, now that I am the one with small children, I expect the same service in return, and if ever I am met with rude or snide comments about mess, it literally triggers flashbacks of me on my hands and knees scrubbing away quietly, cleaning up after young children that weren't my own.

So no I would not be able to hide my annoyance, if it was good enough for me during my working life, it is good enough for others. It is part of their job to clean up, let them get on with it. If anyone would ever challenge me, I would literally tell them this story. Don't want to clean up after others? Get a new job simple!

The shoe has been on the other foot for me, so I can see both sides, but it is a part of life that small children create big messes, it is what you sign up for when agreeing to cater for young children.

So the fact you where treated badly makes it ok for you to treat others like shit?

no wonder things never change!

[Staryflight445]

I’ve always cleaned up floor mess after my children.
its not fair to expect staff to do it. It was a few bits? So why leave it?

[Staryflight445]

Gosh, you’ve dealt with disrespectful people so think that means you get a pass to behave disrespectfully too?

i bet the mess on the floor isn’t the only issue they have.

[Alibongo0001]

No way would I ever leave a cafe/pub/restaurant without making sure there is no (or little) mess behind. I’d always pick up dropped food, wipe up spills, and do my very best to leave the area in the same condition as I found it.
any wipes and rubbish used, I’d always put in a nappy bag and ask the waitress if I could put it in their bin.

[Lougle]

DD3 once vomited hot chocolate in a coffee shop when she was about 10 years old. DH took her outside and I asked for cleaning equipment to clean it up. It's not the job of cafe staff to clean up after us.

i always used to pick up any droppings from my children. It's lovely when someone says to leave it, but not a given.

[Citycentre3]

So the fact you where treated badly makes it ok for you to treat others like shit?

no wonder things never change!

Ah you see when I was cleaning up after children, never did it cross my mind I was being "treated badly". I think people need to develop a thicker skin. Even people that are working seem to think they can pick and choose how others behave. They can't!

I understood perfectly well the mess was not created out of malice, it is just what happens unfortunately, and part of life. People need to move on, and just deal with it instead of complaining.

[bellabasset]

@Alibongo0001 has it correctly, that you leave your used crockery tidy, don't put used serviettes in a coffee cup, leave ketchup on a seat or table.

Our local community centre has a cafe that's used by mums and children as well as the elderly, dogs welcome. It has exercise classes, a gym and sports centre, skate park as well as a library and opens onto a large area for people to walk in. It's surprising how little mess there is.

It's very difficult running a cafe post Brexit as you have the additional costs of keeping staff to a minimum whilst not having customers spend so much in these times of rising prices. If you walked into the cafe and saw 3 women with 5 children unconcerned about mess taking up 2 tables with their 3 coffees or walked into our local centre, absolutely packed with everyone chatting and keeping the place tidy where would you choose to spend nearly £10 on a sandwich or breakfast and drink?

[Theydoyaknow]

Just have manners, it's not rocket science.