Having to clean up after myself in a cafe?

[goodmorningsunny]

I go with a group of friends and out babies to a cafe each week. Apparently the week before last the cafe manager had a go at one of the mums because she said that her baby made mess under his high chair and she didn't clean it up before she left.

This week, as I was packing up to leave (with a screaming overtired baby who is refusing to nap because of teething!), she gave me a dustpan and brush and pointed at the few bit of food under her high chair and asked me to clean up after myself.

It's advertised as a very family friendly cafe.

To make it clear, if she had made an unreasonable mess I would of course have cleaned it up (or tried, it's a bit difficult when you don't have any cleaning materials). But it was a few bits on the floor. I've offered to clean up in other cafes and they've said "don't be silly, we'll do it!".

I guess I'm going to be way more conscious about allowing my baby to make a mess in the future (good luck!). But after I told my mum, she said I should leave a negative review about it on their cafe page and seemed to think it was unreasonable.

Is it unreasonable to ask a parent to clean the floor after their baby? I'm torn because on the one side, I can see how it would be annoying for the staff. On the other hand, I don't bring cleaning materials with me and it's advertised as family friendly... which I would think would mean they're aware that babies make mess!

[milkywithsixsugars]

Having worked in cafes and family-friendly gastropub kinds of restaurants (think the Wacky Warehouse sort of places) in my Uni days, I know how hard they work, usually for just on minimum wage, and how miserable it can be trying to keep the place tidy some days, especially when it’s very busy and you have the next customer standing there waiting for the table, tutting and rolling their eyes while you’re on your knees trying to clean up squashed chips or peas off the carpet. Because of this, I’ve always tidied up after we’ve finished eating, trying to make the server’s job a bit easier when they come to collect our plates and wipe down, and I’m even more conscious of it since having my LO. If anything is dropped, I make sure it’s all cleaned up, even going as far as wiping down the high chair and table with baby wipes if it’s particularly messy. I feel it’s only common courtesy to leave things as I found them, and should really be something that everyone does.
I can only imagine that the cafe OP goes to has been getting sick of the mess left behind by customers and their children (not saying OP’s group specifically), and has started a policy of making all customers responsible for cleaning up after their demon spawn little angels.

[JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn]

You had a screaming overtired baby... why did you stay so long?

The cafe owner is probably really fed up with mums and babies spending too long in the cafe without spending much and putting other people off using the cafe with screaming babies and a messy space.

Yes, you should clean up. I was shocked at some of the mums I met when DD was a baby who just got up and walked off leaving the cafe we were visiting in a terrible state.

I always cleaned up and cleaned up others mess too as it's not fair on the cafe staff at all.

[Citycentre3]

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn

You had a screaming overtired baby... why did you stay so long?

The cafe owner is probably really fed up with mums and babies spending too long in the cafe without spending much and putting other people off using the cafe with screaming babies and a messy space.

Yes, you should clean up. I was shocked at some of the mums I met when DD was a baby who just got up and walked off leaving the cafe we were visiting in a terrible state.

I always cleaned up and cleaned up others mess too as it's not fair on the cafe staff at all.

Oh get you, what a saint!

[JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn]

@Citycentre3 I'm no saint I can assure you

[JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn]

@Citycentre3 why am I only saint? Just curious. Plenty of other people (in fact the majority on this thread) have said they clean or attempt to clean up after their babies when they visit a cafe. But I'm a Saint for doing it? Go me! Saint JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn

[Artichokepiglet]

I usually pick up the bits myself before leaving. Sometimes a member of staff will tell me not to bother but I still feel guilty. I'd actually welcome a dustpan and brush!

[Citycentre3]

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn

@Citycentre3 why am I only saint? Just curious. Plenty of other people (in fact the majority on this thread) have said they clean or attempt to clean up after their babies when they visit a cafe. But I'm a Saint for doing it? Go me! Saint JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn

I dunno, perhaps it is the sanctimonious tone of your comment!😁

[ZBsmom]

This is absolutely 1000% an inappropriate request from the manger or staff. I was a server for over 10 years in many different types of resturants, buffets and 5 star establishments and we would NEVER ask a customer to clean up after their child’s UNLESS they made some crazy absurd mess that the parent aleta them do repeatedly like dump whole plates of food on the floor… more than once. It is our job as a staff to clean up after our guest, period! If you don’t want to do that then find a different job. Ppl go out to eat so they can enjoy a meal with mouth the hassle of clean up or cooking. I have a child and god children. If I went out to eat with them and they made a big mess I leave an more $$ in the tip. I mean come on, seriously I can believe this restaurant did this or so many ppl are okay with this.

[ZBsmom]

But then would t this apply to you as well, your mess your problem… Do you clean the dishes after you eat at a restaurant or offer to sweep under your table? Often ppls shoes track in as much debris as a toddler eatting.

[ZBsmom]

@GonnaGetGoingReturns

Listen to myself?! That’s a laugh!

Parents with babies and young kids should be more considerate of people without them because not everyone wants to hear a baby screaming or see kids messing around!

of course babies cry a lot and young children are still learning but that doesn’t mean that parents should subject others to this!

I’m not saying we should go back to the dark ages and ban parents with babies or young children but yes in my mind more considerate parents would make for a better cafe environment for everyone!

Just because you don’t want or have kids doesn’t give you the right to ask another parent with kids to leave bc YOu don’t approve of their behavior. It’s not a library or a church. If you don’t want to be bothered by children then go to an adults only resort or location where kids are not allowed. Everyone has a right to choose to have a child or not and if some choose to they don’t need to live a different life or hide or muzzle their children bc there are ppl who prefer no to hear them or want them to act like little adults. Give me a break. You do realize you were a child once.

[ZeldaWillTellYourFortune]

Libraries and churches aren't the only venues where decent, quiet, considerate behaviour is expected.

I actually feel sorry for people who think low-class, loud and slovenly conduct is appropriate in restaurants. They must lead messy, stunted lives.

[Morgysmum]

Hmm, I don't know what to say, I have been on both ends.
I have been the mum picking up big bits of mess, or cleaning up spilt juice with a tissue.
I have also been the person, cleaning up after a family, with a couple of kids, that seemed to tip most of the food on the floor, mashed into the table and chairs. Which took about 10 minutes to sweep up and clean the seats and table, so that other diners could use.
I get kids can be messy, but if it's child friendly, you have to put up with the mess.

[Teaismymiddlename]

Clean it up.
A pet hate of mine is parents that walk away and leave mushed up bits of food all over the floors for someone else to tread in.
You have a baby. I'm sure you have tissues or wipes.
It's basic manners.
And yes I have kids, and I clean up their mess.
I also wipe down the high chairs etc so they're not sticky for the next person

It's a two min job and shows willing that you acknowledge you're kids made a mess!!

[deniselovesdrawing]

Then don’t advertise as family friendly if you don’t mums there…Jesus

[VK456]

I always picked up the worst of the mess and then asked for a dust pan and brush. I would have been too embarrassed to have just left it.

[RecklessGoddess]

As someone who has worked in the hospitality industry (cafes and coffee shops) since 2013, it is annoying if there's a lot of mess left behind, and even more annoying when people move tables and chairs, then don't put them back where they got them from. A little bit of a mess from kids is really nothing, I've had to clear up more mess from grown adults than I have from kids. So yes, they are definitely being unreasonable. I personally would do exactly what your mum said, but I would also find another cafe to meet up at!

[Sue2704]

So here is the other side. I am currently the manager of a very busy cafe attached to a farm attraction that is firmly aimed at families with young children. We find that some families do tidy up after themselves, and the staff very much appreciate it, but on the whole they eat and leave. And the mess can be shocking. We have had dirty nappies/wipes left on tables. I have trained the staff to expect to clean up, we have hard floors and all the necessary sprays etc. We joke with the parents that we are going to hold the 2 year old crisp throwing olympics to make them feel better about the mess. It’s a day out, they have paid good money, and we are set up for it. However my last position was in a small newly refurbished coffee shop that only seated 30. It was not aimed specifically at parents with young children, although we did have 2 high chairs. We had a bit of an issue if we had groups of mums in with buggies etc, who would move all the furniture round, and generally “take over”. We then found out that it was groups of childminders not mums. In that cafe we did expect them to tidy up a bit, put rubbish in the bin and at least pick up the worst from the floor. And I would mention it, politely, if they left a huge mess then came in again, as they are sharing the space with other people who do not have young children. I also didn’t allow little ones to run round etc for the same reason, where at my current job it’s totally acceptable. Horses for courses.

[Slv199]

When my kids were small I’d always clear up if I’d brought my own food for them. If it was good from where we were eating I’d clean up if I could. Unless there was a lot of mess. Then I’d clean the best I could.

[HerMajestysRoyalCoven]

The people saying “if you don’t like standing or sitting in my child’s mess then go to childfree cafe!” are the exact same people who start social media campaigns against cafe owners that ban children.

I know two great cafes where I’d love to go but when both tried to ban young kids, both got hit with social media campaigns from the local mum brigade. They had to relent and now both cafes resemble soft play - filthy, loud, buggies everywhere.

Would love a childfree cafe.

[eastegg]

@goodmorningsunny

@HeddaGarbled interestingly, we were asked to use that cafe in particular by the host of a baby group we go to, who had a deal with the cafe that they should point mums in our direction! I suppose they don't need the business though. They're sort of half full most of the time so I suppose we're not very valuable customers really. It's just odd that they ask for mother and baby customers and then don't seem to be too happy about us being there!

Not odd at all. You really need to let go of this idea that mother and baby = inevitably leave a load of crap on the floor and not clear it up.

[eastegg]

@ZBsmom

But then would t this apply to you as well, your mess your problem… Do you clean the dishes after you eat at a restaurant or offer to sweep under your table? Often ppls shoes track in as much debris as a toddler eatting.

😂yes sure they do. All those squashed chips and chunks of soggy rice cake constantly being brought in on people’s shoes off the pavements! Don’t be so ridiculous.

[Blueink]

You are unreasonable to allow your DC to make such a mess on the floor in a cafe (it’s not inevitable if you are supervising them properly) and not offering to clean up.

[CelestiaNoctis]

I think if it's not much then they've probably gone ott due to the other mum taking the piss. I always clean up the best I can after my kids and make sure it's OK to leave but it's never that bad. I just would find somewhere else tbh, the damage has been done by their behaviour and I'd feel too awkward lol.

[ELLAMAR00]

That is just weird I always stack plates and tidy the table after meals out with family. I was a waitress in my teens and I have never heard of anywhere that would make the customer clean the floor try find somewhere they are not family friendly.

[oosha]

I have never been expected to brush the floor and clean up in a cafe after my baby, I wouldn’t expect to be asked either. I think this is ridiculous. I would always be respectful wherever I was and would do my best to limit mess however they are babies for god’s sake. I can’t believe you actually did it!