People who won't leave a restaurant when their child is kicking up

[JanetSally]

I was having dinner in a restaurant the other evening. A couple at another table had a small baby with them in a buggy. The mother had just fed the baby and put him back down but he wasn't happy and started crying, the noise escalating and escalating. The parents, who had finished their meal, very slowly finished their coffee/wine before leaving the restaurant despite the fact that people were turning around and looking at them.

I was in a cafe recently with a friend when her toddler started tantrumming. I said I was nearly finished and happy to go, but my friend said no, we'd paid for our food and were entitled to stay. She just wasn't budging, so I took her child outside while she finished every bit of her cake.

Why do some people do this? It's very unfair on everyone else in the restaurant.

Lie, not lengthy

gebrokendochter · Yesterday 11:43
(didn’t do dinners until 7/8 and always left the dining room until things had calmed down on the odd occasions they became upset when they were tiny).

“You put the crucial bits between brackets. But in my experience, and I've done both, it makes no difference wether children are introduced to restaurants early or not. They behave well/enjoy the experience when they are good and ready to do so. Also, there might be a case that they actually enjoy it more and are more likely to be delightful if it is a rare treat.”

YesI know I did. Just goes to show, everyone is different. What we did worked for us, what you did worked for you.

I think it's different offering and waiting for the mother to accept/ respecting her space if she refuses, than just going ahead and touching someone's child without asking first. Equally as bad is asking if its ok while leaning in to go ahead and pick up/ touch the child without waiting for the mother or father to respond first. Especially with covid and all the awareness of rsv etc I do think people are more cautious now about who is handling their baby. And I think that's fair enough. I don't know if I've ever heard of a mother calling another woman a paedophile for offering to distract their child for a few minutes.

We’ve got a 6m old baby and when out we tend to take turns of having him on our lap unless he’s happy in his pushchair with a toy for a bit. As mothers we tend to adapt to eating while having baby on us (partner cuts up food or passes things you can’t reach).

When he was tiny we ate out at our local and he had awful colic, no one batted an eye lid at us while we finished our drink/food as they could see we were actively trying to sooth him.

I think if the child or baby is kicking off and the parents aren’t attempting to settle or sooth the baby then that’s unacceptable but if you can see they’re actively trying to calm the child or baby then it is what it is and you shouldn’t be so judgemental.

Parents of small children deserve some them time too and not everyone has the luxury of baby sitters or family members to have the baby when they need some them time.

Depends how much they are kicking off and what type of restaurant , time of day etc there are many variables !

Because most people are selfish and entitled.

I honestly think more & more people are utterly self absorbed and entitled. If one of our kids kick off (thankfully no longer happens, but I remember the early days) one of us sacrifices our meal to take the child out to calm down etc. Other people haven’t paid through the nose to listen to other peoples children!

😂😂😂

And anyone who dares to step foot into a dentist or supermarket with their child 🤪 this thread is hilarious.

I’ve found the elderly are like that here.

It’s the younger/middle aged ones with no kid, the middle aged ones whose kids are grown and have somehow forgotten what it was like when they were young, and the ones who do have young kids but either keep them locked up or at age 2 they’re conforming, well behaved 24/7 - never tantruming and have the brain development of a fully grown adult, who are intolerant.

You and others on this thread go on as though every restaurant has wild, feral kids running amock causing chaos for everyone. I don’t know what part of the UK you eat out in but the only restaurants I’ve seen this are ones aimed at children with soft plays and ball pits.

what’s more likely is that it’s a one off occasion you’ve experienced this and now all children must be banished from restaurants just incase they so much as cry and the parents can’t calm them quick enough.

I’ve never seen such a child hating thread!

French parenting can he ruthless and a bit cruel. Parents will not hesitate to smack / scream at tantrumning toddlers or lock them in their rooms or in cars without dinner. They also get fewer choices and their ‘culture of independance’ is just ‘free range parenting’ where kids are shoved out into the garden so parents can socialise. Kids aren’t included in proper family meals in restaurants except for Sundays
Hilarious how totally stereotypically wrong this is!

I think it's different offering and waiting for the mother to accept/ respecting her space if she refuses, than just going ahead and touching someone's child without asking first
I see. So I go to a restaurant for a nice meal and I portant discussion with my OH. A baby start screaming and parents don't do much to stop it because they are eating. I interrupt my discussion and meal to go and help, hoping baby quiet down in my arms so that I can then go back to my cold meal and discussion. However mum them gives me a dirty look when I offer, asking me who I think I am, that of course she won't let me hold her baby and to go back to my seat, so I do so, feeling told off and that somehow I am a bad person for offering and continue to be stressed by screaming baby.

What planet are some parents from? One clearly where the world revolve around them and stuff the need of everyone else.

The same parents who expect their family to help with their kids every time they need it but then post how they won't be hosting the family for Xmas because it's too much work and they are boring anyway.

How often have you been sat in a restaurant with a baby screaming and the parents are just sat eating completely oblivious? I eat out a lot and I have never witnessed what so many on here seem to witness regularly. I must live on a different planet entirely.

I have never seen parents ignore a screaming baby. It would be neglect.

I have seen toddlers tearing around a busy restaurant or pub.

French parenting can he ruthless and a bit cruel. Parents will not hesitate to smack / scream at tantrumning toddlers or lock them in their rooms or in cars without dinner. They also get fewer choices and their ‘culture of independance’ is just ‘free range parenting’ where kids are shoved out into the garden so parents can socialise. Kids aren’t included in proper family meals in restaurants except for Sundays

Completely un true, France out lawed smacking of children in 2019.
France has no culture of dependence and when it comes to leaving children on their own whilst parents socialise?

I think, as one infamous case showed us all, the English are quite capable of that themselves.

@Winceybincey definitely a lot of child hating on here. I’ve honestly never had a dining experience where a child has a tantrum and the parent does absolutely nothing about it. There’s a lot of exaggeration on here.

Where did I say or even imply that children should be banished from restaurants.
And no, I wish it was just one incident but unfortunately it's not. I regularly see children running around, shouting, crying, wailing etc in restaurants with parents doing nothing. Many others on here have witnessed the same.

So you often witness random children distressed, crying, wailing etc with no adult checking they’re ok?

I’d be very concerned for the child if I saw that - not concerned for my own enjoyment. But I haven’t witnessed that so my mind is quite blown at this thread

I eat out a lot and I have never witnessed what so many on here seem to witness regularly.

I only rarely witness it and very very rarely in the way described. The tiny handful of parents who couldn't give a whatsit and allow their children to run wild are the sort of people who will be causing you some kind of kerfuffle regardless of whether they are out with their children or not.

What I witness a lot more is parents apologising for very mild normal childhood behaviour, and worshipping the ground you walk on if you are not annoyed by their child breathing let alone offer some minor kindness, because they have been socialised to do this. May vary a bit by location, but I get out and about widely.

I regularly see children running around, shouting, crying, wailing etc in restaurants with parents doing nothing.

I think you need to go to different establishments or eat later then, where presumably this would be less common and suit you better?

Children walking past my house are noise and the amount of times peoples kids get in my way in the supermarket. Such selfish people! Lock your kids up ffs. How dare you let kids be kids?

Is the restaurant in question a soft play gym lol? I've never seen this in any restaurant/cafe before either. I have seen parents trying to settle their children/ distract them and looking very under pressure to do so. I've also seen kids starting to whinge/shout/babble etc which is normal and doesn't always require anything from the parent. I agree i have seen toddlers and young children running about from the table which personally I wouldn't allow although some kids do find it harder to sit still for long periods than others. You didn't say that children should be banished from restaurants but other posters have so I think that comment is in response to the people who have suggested that children shouldn't be in public spaces/restaurants etc under 3 years old.

The only establishments I’ve witnessed children running amock are pubs with indoor play areas and it’s normal in that section of the pub. But even if a child ran past their table I can’t see how they wouldn’t be able to have a conversation and their dining experience being ruined because of it.

it’s the screaming, crying, wailing with no adult checking on the child comments that have puzzled me. Especially as it seems to be so common to witness for many posters. If I saw that I’d be upset for the child, it’s not normal. Like yourself, I witness normal child behaviour with parents interacting with the children, Women pacing up and down trying to calm an upset baby, children being asked to sit still and given books and crayons. I’ve witnessed mothers trying to pick a tantruming toddler up off the floor and toddlers toddling around with a parent following them but never have I witnessed a child crying and wailing with no one tending to them.

Or on the other hand, the thread is full of exaggeration and posters have used it as an opportunity to vent their hatred of the existence of children/other peoples children.

It's also desperately unfair on the child/baby. I hate it when people ignore crying children/babies, partly because it distresses me, but also because it's a horrible thing to do to a child.

@Winceybincey the thread is full of exaggeration and posters have used it as an opportunity to vent their hatred of the existence of children/other peoples children.

Its pretty much this. Most of the posters who have had all these repeated run ins with awful children also pepper their posts with words like ‘breeding’ ‘sprogs’ ‘mummy brigade’ all used purposely to cause offence so we can assume their view of the situation is somewhat coloured by their extreme distain for children or other peoples children.