To not let DD have the day off school tomorrow

[yafifo2462]

I'm prepared to be told I'm BU/insensitive but I'm not sure.

DD is 15, and she's been with her boyfriend since earlier this year. He was diagnosed with cancer not long after but DD has been supportive and has been seeing him as much as possible, messaging him etc which I have no issues with.

He went into hospital a few weeks ago for an op, he's stayed in longer than expected so DD hasn't seen him for a while as he didn't want her to see him whilst he was very unwell. He's now well enough to go home and he's due to tomorrow, I've had a message from his mum asking if DD can go and see him as he wants to see her. The issue is school, DD has said she wants to see him also but can't as she has an after school club so won't get home until late and when she can finally see him she won't be able to for long due to her needing to come home ready for school the next day. I've suggested the weekend but she's said she wants to see him tomorrow and she'll only miss a day of school and if she doesn't he'll be upset etc.

Now I'm second guessing myself and I'm wondering if I am BU and if I should just let her have the day off?

Let her go OP for him and for her x hope he's okay bless him

If I'd have been in this position at the age of 15 I'd have voted with my feet and taken the consequences later.

I don’t normally let my children miss school for anything other than serious levels of illness - but even I would let her miss today! She won’t concentrate at school anyway when she wants to be somewhere else. Let her go and set her mind at ease a bit and I’m sure the rest of the week will go better.

I would contact the school and let them know she will not be attending extra tuition after school.

I would then drive to the school and pick her up when school ends at 3:30 or whatever and then take her straight round to her boyfriend (why does she need to walk home? Why does she need to change?)

I don't entirely understand why the choice is between missing a whole day of school or seeing her ill boyfriend.

@EdgeOfACoin I agree, sometimes I think my head is wired differently to other people's. No need for drama, he's not about to die, as confirmed by his family but it's obviously important to see him. DD goes to school and does the best she can, then is taken round to boyfriend's either by parent or I'd call her a cab if I was at work and funds allow. Get her to take flowers for his mum. Sorted.

I would 100% allow her to miss one day of school. I would drive her over and I would take a casserole and flowers for his poor mother. I wouldn’t even hesitate - it’s one day of school. Just make her promise to catch up the work and explain the position to school.

I wouldn’t let her miss the entire day and school as tbh he’s probably not up for having visitors all day long and he may feel he can’t tell her that if she’s taken the day off school for him.

Just skip the after school lesson or go for an hour in the evening.

They will get to see each other without it being too overwhelming/tiring for him.

I’d send her to school and she can she him after that. He’s not about to die and they have chosen not to see each other for some time already so a few hours more won’t hurt.

Is it feasible for you to pick her up after school and take her straight to his house?

This

Is this even a question? Let her have the day off it’s one day, you have no idea what that poor boy has gone through.

Tbh your DD won't be able to concentrate at school anyway.

Why on earth would you write some a post. That’s disgusting “he’s not about to die”

This in bucket loads

This!

i can’t believe the insensitivity about this thread. Could you imagine if that poor mother was on here? Reading some of these replies.

Let her go!
can’t believe you’d even question it!
Poor boy- I’d do anything to make him happy.

Had a similar situation years ago and a family member insisted work was more important. The work is long forgotten but the feeling of lack of support still remains.

What will she remember? You, preventing her seeing him?
or all that immense knowledge she’ll learn in one day.

Wow....just wow!!!

This is ridiculous. She needs to go to school but she can take a note from you explaining why she can’t go to the after school club.

She won’t be forced to stay, she’s just saying this to get the whole day off.

‘Wow just wow’ is not the strong argument you think it is.

She can miss a day of school. And there’s no guarantees with child cancer. My DDs friend was declared cancer free in April 2021. Six months later it was back and last week she died at home, aged 17. This whole past year has been about making memories for DDs friend and being there for her…even though it’s also A levels.

The DDs boyfriend/close friend may not be dying right this second, but I wouldn’t be taking any time with him for granted or minimising DDs perfectly natural humanity towards a friend in need.

I'd let her go. I think I would, if possible, send her in for the morning and pick her up at lunch so she only misses half a day.

You are her parent - you can just tell the school she is not doing the after school club.

This is such an awful thing that is happening to her BF and also to your DD.

Would you be like this is if was just a friend, a close female friend, rather than a boyfriend? As I’d also let her have the day off in that situation.

His mother has asked for your DD to come. You seem to have no thought of empathy for her and what she is going through. Having her son’s girlfriend waiting for him when he comes home and being able to stay and watch videos with him - don’t you think that his mother will take a little bit of comfort from that? Something “normal” and teenage after a really frightening time.

School isn’t that important . You sound self centred and it isn’t even your DD you are putting first.

I'd be taking her there myself with a gift tbh. A day of school is nothing