'It's more expensive for us because there are two of us'

[Vlent]

I am single and live alone. I am fed up of being told that couples' lives are more expensive because there are two of them.

For clarity, in all of these examples both halves of the couple are working full time and they live together.

A couple of recent examples:

My friend lives with her girlfriend and we often have drinks in one of our houses at the weekend. We had arranged to go for a drink in the city one Saturday, and at the last minute she suggested I just go to her house instead. I said I was looking forward to going out with her for a change, and was told it was too expensive for her because there are 'two of them' and so it would cost twice than what it did for me.

To be clear, if she couldn't afford it I would of course go to her house instead, and I did so, but it's the absolute lack of logic that annoys me, and she says it quite frequently - ie. 'It's okay for you to go out, Vlent, but it will cost DG and I £100 (or whatever) because there are two of us'.

I was discussing a holiday destination with another friend because another friend wants to visit there. I said it was cheap once you got there. DF said 'I thought it was quite expensive but then there are two of us'.

Another friend lives abroad in Europe, and I've visited her several times, but I don't enjoy the place, I visit to see her. She has just invited me to visit in the New Year. I said I didn't think I could, and why didn't she try and visit where I live (which is also her home town). I was told it would be better for me to visit her, because her husband would want to come here, and it would be too expensive 'for the two of them'.

It's really beginning to annoy me. Yes, there are two of you, and so each of you carry a cost, but you're also getting two incomes into your home and halving the bills, whereas I'm paying all of my bills from a single income. It is not more expensive for them to do these things than it is for me.

Another couple this weekend were acting as one in a round of drinks too - there were five of us and I bought a round, Fred bought a round, Sarah bought a round and then James and Jess bought one between them and then back to me, and so Fred, Sarah and I were buying other people four drinks each on our round, and the James and Jess bought other people three drinks between them.

AIBU?

@K1233
food for couples isn't double the cost, as if you're single things go off before you can eat them (looking at you salad stuff!)

What bugs me is that you can't buy 1 field mushroom in a supermarket, they are sold in packs of 2. Same with leeks, courgettes etc.

They might understand more if you say it in percentage terms. So when they next say “this is too expensive because there are 2 of us” the answer is it’s the same because it costs 0.5% of your income and 0.5% of their income. Just because their income is double then that doesn’t make the cost higher

Everybody has to buy food though. OP thread was about income how can you bypass that? So the wife has to buy food whilst her husband is away like her husband. Are you suggesting half om rent isn't a big saving? What about water? And all other bills.

I'm aghast you need me to point this out to you.

You could change supermarkets to avoid this, or maybe get a little veg box. Tesco sells mushrooms and courgettes individually 😀

100% get rid of the friends

It’s a joke. They have no idea (or burying their head in the sand about) single people premium - no one sharing cabs/ hotels/ meals / household bills. Still the FREEDOM is worth it for me.

This.

Surely what either parties earn is irrelevant..?

In the case of going out to a pub the price would be the same per person if they all had the same drink, so no not more expensive for a couple.

In the case of living expenses, it would be more expensive for the single person. Has small reduction (not half) in council tax. Things like heating and electric would largely be the same. Water might be slightly less but probably not half. Holidays often have a single supplement.

I really noticed this when my partner died 2 years ago.

We had very similar incomes, and both paid the same amount into the joint account. It covered all the bills, food, car expenses (only one car, we didn't need two) and it left plenty over for holidays, going out replacing household stuff, furniture etc.

When he died, almost all the bills were the same, with the exception of council tax and a small reduction in energy (approx 10%). Food costs went down a bit (especially in the first couple of months), but not by 50%, because I was having to buy smaller quantities of perishable stuff so the unit cost rose.

And I have to pay out for things I couldn't do myself, but he would have been able to do. I had to get an emergency plumber the other week, because of a leak behind the washing machine. I could have sorted it, but couldn't pull the machine out into the kitchen, so it cost me £160. And I have to pay someone to cut the hedges, because I can't reach and it's not safe to use a stepladder in my sloping garden!

@TheGirlWhoLived You could change supermarkets to avoid this, or maybe get a little veg box. Tesco sells mushrooms and courgettes individually 😀

Thanks for that info, no I really I mean it !

Surely it also depends on income, two people could bring home £40000 and one person £50000

But a single mum would be paying for three out of one income where you'd be paying for four out of two incomes.

@determinedtomakethiswork but it all depends on the income
Not how many are earning
If two bring home £40000 between them and one brings home £50000 the one is better off
At one point my single friend was bringing home £40000 myself and husband £36000 so my single friend had more disposable income than us

But even if the couple are going out twice as much as a single person, they still have double the income.

I have another CF eg- I have a group of friends and we all chip in £10 for joint group birthday presents for a big birthday eg. I got a garden centre voucher for £140 for my 40th.

Whenever it's time to chip in I always put in £20 because it's me AND my DP contribution. There's one couple who always only put in £10 from the 2 or them. Annoying!!

Yes I get that bit but if there are two sets of friends then 2 of them are going out twice instead of 1 going out once.

Playing devil's advocate, I always felt this "more for two" when my dh and I got married and pooled our money. So, a meal out is now perceived as for two not one.

However, living costs are split so overall we are better off than a singleton.

I don't need you to point it out to me. I was talking about the food. The poster who's partner is living away some of the time isn't making the same savings as someone who lives with someone else full time.

I used to get annoyed at packs of bacon. I don't need 8 rashers when I just want one bacon sandwich

YANBU - Never heard anyone say that before what a stupid logic. I’d always understood it works out cheaper with rent/mortgage and bills as a couple, and of course it will cost more for 2 lots of drinks/dinner/flights, but presumably two incomes or a decision made about one income supporting both people

It just so obviously nonsense! Each person is earning, so each bears a cost.

And life in general is more expensive for a single person.

It does!! You only get a third off council tax a single occupant, TV license, broadband, house / contents insurance, heating and lighting, cooking (assuming people who live together eat the same meal)....all cost as much for one person as they do for two for paid for out on only one income. i think the only place you'd save money is on hot water use for showers and a bit on laundry.

The couples seem to be joined at the hip. Surely they would go out individually to see their individual friends! No wonder it is costing more if the man is meeting up with the woman's friends and all his own friends.

When you are single socialising with couples rarely works. A single person would like to socialise at eg a pub or event where there may be a chance of meeting a partner. The couples have their partners got, and want to socialise at home to save money.

Not RTFT, but James & Jess would be getting one drink and two straws on my round

OP I'm a long term single and I could understand how much this stunt stings... emotionally and financially!

I know that it can be awkward calling this out, but you must. If it keeps happening with these friends, or they just didn't 'get it' (they do get it btw it's basic maths), then honestly I would just forget about them. There are loads of people to be friends with...friends come and go in life and that's okay. Pay more attention to friends who aren't entitled CFs.

None of my couple friends have ever even tried to pull this stunt, I wouldn't be around long if they did! I don't think it's in their nature anyway; they are lovely people.

Part of me wonders if with the cost of living rise we will see more couples trying to act-as-one as everyone just desperately tries to save money any way they can. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of. I wouldn't hesitate to drop a couple like a hot potato after them trying this stunt.

I know that can be difficult, speaking up at a table on your own. But you must.

Call. It. Out.

(and then don't see them again)