'It's more expensive for us because there are two of us'

[Vlent]

I am single and live alone. I am fed up of being told that couples' lives are more expensive because there are two of them.

For clarity, in all of these examples both halves of the couple are working full time and they live together.

A couple of recent examples:

My friend lives with her girlfriend and we often have drinks in one of our houses at the weekend. We had arranged to go for a drink in the city one Saturday, and at the last minute she suggested I just go to her house instead. I said I was looking forward to going out with her for a change, and was told it was too expensive for her because there are 'two of them' and so it would cost twice than what it did for me.

To be clear, if she couldn't afford it I would of course go to her house instead, and I did so, but it's the absolute lack of logic that annoys me, and she says it quite frequently - ie. 'It's okay for you to go out, Vlent, but it will cost DG and I £100 (or whatever) because there are two of us'.

I was discussing a holiday destination with another friend because another friend wants to visit there. I said it was cheap once you got there. DF said 'I thought it was quite expensive but then there are two of us'.

Another friend lives abroad in Europe, and I've visited her several times, but I don't enjoy the place, I visit to see her. She has just invited me to visit in the New Year. I said I didn't think I could, and why didn't she try and visit where I live (which is also her home town). I was told it would be better for me to visit her, because her husband would want to come here, and it would be too expensive 'for the two of them'.

It's really beginning to annoy me. Yes, there are two of you, and so each of you carry a cost, but you're also getting two incomes into your home and halving the bills, whereas I'm paying all of my bills from a single income. It is not more expensive for them to do these things than it is for me.

Another couple this weekend were acting as one in a round of drinks too - there were five of us and I bought a round, Fred bought a round, Sarah bought a round and then James and Jess bought one between them and then back to me, and so Fred, Sarah and I were buying other people four drinks each on our round, and the James and Jess bought other people three drinks between them.

AIBU?

Yanbu!! I met a friend recently and her husband ended up meeting us and I was having to buy 3 drinks for my round, then it was THEIR turn so they only had to buy 1 extra for me. Then my turn I was buying 2 extra. It really annoyed me.

Why didn't you say anything. Surely even raised eyebrows and a quizzical look would be enough 🤨

Tbh if you go to meet a friend and her husband rolls up too that's already a really annoying change to the planned dynamic before money comes into play. I'm married but it'd piss me off enough to leave early if a friend I'd made arrangements to meet on her own rolled up with her husband, or if he decided to invite himself unless it was just for one at the end of the evening drink because they were meeting up to travel home together. I'm not interested in meeting up with friends ' husbands unless we're genuinely all friends, and even then not if I have arranged to meet just my female friend.

Some people need to speak up or get new friends I think.

Yes exactly, your round you get one drink for them to divide up as they wish.

The only time I've had a thought like that it was because the partner (a temporary one) was only there to be with me. ie, they didn't want to contribute to all my friends or the night out. So is it a case of they don't have a life, so don't expect to have to pay for it? LOL! I'd rather someone I'm out with to want to be out. I think they are assuming that single people are 'free and happy' but less valuable in society. if they resent buying a drink out when they are only paying half the bills at home, they must be really unhappy. My sister and her wife have agreed when they go out with family, the one who's family it is pays for the wife, too. But they always pay as two people, in every situation.

YANBU OP

and it's so cheeky of them to share a round!

You're "friends" are ridiculous

I've experienced that old "but it costs us double" scenario too. I think they get fixated on the amount and forget to divide by 2. It is maddening. My Grandad used to get stuck on "it used to be a ha'penny a loaf" completely forgetting that he earned ten pounds a month in those days.

I agree OP.
It's far cheaper for 2 to live than one - two people can live in a 1 bed place, so can share the rent, and bills.

Even though I am well aware we are better off as a couple I think there are things I happily did when single that I would pause and think about more now if we are paying for two. I think we look at total cost vs cost per person and different things look good value. So as a single I think a night out locally seemed decent value whereas now an overnight stay feels relatively cheaper. No wonder since before a night away would have been £120 for a hotel & £40 for meal + drinks and now it’s maybe £150 for the hotel & £70 for a meal with a shared bottle of wine so it’s got lots cheaper where a meal out hasn’t really changed as a cost per person

I’ve had a similar experience, I’m a single parent and have a friend who has twins and is married, she was always telling me that it was harder for her as she had two children to pay for but couldn’t see that this was the equivalent of me being on my own with my child.

You might try saying, "Yes, it is, but it is the same price per person, and you both have an income."

@Thelongnights
Just what I was thinking. Buy them one to share.

And earn two incomes, HTH.

Some PP on this thread have no idea.

A couple living together DO NOT use twice as much gas, water, electricity than a single person. And they have two incomes with which to pay rent/mortgage. council tax (single rebate is ONLY 25%), house maintenance, car/car maintenance etc etc.

Wow, what a great timing. HTH.

Lol if he's out with me then yes I get him to go the bar to order/carry drinks over... if I'm out with just friends I'll ask one to come help me carry drinks back, or we'll all head to the bar together if say we're I'm a club or want shots ... I never said I don't go on nights out without my partner, I was just relating with pp when said I get him to go up to the bar to order too.

BTW In this instance I'm using the term "bar" as the place within a pub or club and not referring to the actual pub.

They were friends of a friend though so it would've been awkward and so I just fumed.

So they weren.t even your friends?? 🙄
YAVVU to be so lacking in backbone that you "fumed". FFS, chose a lane. Either say something and let it be "awkward" (for them) or put up and shut up.

😂 Nice to see a bit of passion!

However, you were unreasonable for not calling out that couple during the rounds, I'm Irish and that's a MASSIVE nope, don't care if your 40 years married with a joint fb page and share half the toilet seat... when it comes to rounds there's etiquette, couples can count as "one" only when they are having rounds with other couples, each couple buys a round so it works out. If their is at least one single person in the group, then couples buy a round each, just cheek

why is being Irish relevant?

The biggest expense most people will ever have is housing which a couple will share so it’s so these friends just sound bonkers

Your experience isn't typical, it's generally accepted by most that it's cheaper to share costs.

Yes very odd. I’ve never heard that argument it makes absolutely no sense. I’m irritated by any display of Co-dependency in couples. “We are one” pathetic

Yes I’m with the voting majority but obviously no assumptions- a couple aren’t necessarily both earning. A family may have traditionally one bread winner. But yeah this sounds like argument from DINKYs

You are my kind of person 😇😘🤣🤣🤣

Public transport costs can be cheaper for a couple, there is a 2 for 1 railcard, which is great for long journeys, attractions often do a 2 for one entrance fee if you have traveled there by rail, but a single person doesn't get a half price ticket if they come by tail, people forget things like that
Don't begrudge family tickets to places, children have no income, but it would be good if there were discounts such as the o e above that a single person could benefit from. In a scenario where a couple went on a railcard and got a 2 for one offer then apart from the cost of the railcard pro rats, a couple is paying the same as a single person