'It's more expensive for us because there are two of us'

[Vlent]

I am single and live alone. I am fed up of being told that couples' lives are more expensive because there are two of them.

For clarity, in all of these examples both halves of the couple are working full time and they live together.

A couple of recent examples:

My friend lives with her girlfriend and we often have drinks in one of our houses at the weekend. We had arranged to go for a drink in the city one Saturday, and at the last minute she suggested I just go to her house instead. I said I was looking forward to going out with her for a change, and was told it was too expensive for her because there are 'two of them' and so it would cost twice than what it did for me.

To be clear, if she couldn't afford it I would of course go to her house instead, and I did so, but it's the absolute lack of logic that annoys me, and she says it quite frequently - ie. 'It's okay for you to go out, Vlent, but it will cost DG and I £100 (or whatever) because there are two of us'.

I was discussing a holiday destination with another friend because another friend wants to visit there. I said it was cheap once you got there. DF said 'I thought it was quite expensive but then there are two of us'.

Another friend lives abroad in Europe, and I've visited her several times, but I don't enjoy the place, I visit to see her. She has just invited me to visit in the New Year. I said I didn't think I could, and why didn't she try and visit where I live (which is also her home town). I was told it would be better for me to visit her, because her husband would want to come here, and it would be too expensive 'for the two of them'.

It's really beginning to annoy me. Yes, there are two of you, and so each of you carry a cost, but you're also getting two incomes into your home and halving the bills, whereas I'm paying all of my bills from a single income. It is not more expensive for them to do these things than it is for me.

Another couple this weekend were acting as one in a round of drinks too - there were five of us and I bought a round, Fred bought a round, Sarah bought a round and then James and Jess bought one between them and then back to me, and so Fred, Sarah and I were buying other people four drinks each on our round, and the James and Jess bought other people three drinks between them.

AIBU?

The round this is ridiculous unless they were sharing a drink!!

Other friends are correct in saying two plane tickets/meals out cost more than one, that is true. They're just not factoring in that the cost of living may be less for them as a two income HH.

Saying that, we are struggling massively at the moment so even though we have two incomes, we have nothing spare so I would potentially be that friend saying I can't afford to go out.

You know what. You sound happy to be bitter. Good luck with that.

But plane tickets/meals don't cost the individual more. It costs the same amount per person.

You struggling has nothing to do with you being part of a couple - if you were single and living alone you'd still be unable to afford whatever you can't afford now.

Interesting way to acknowledge that what you're saying is nonsense and you can't think of any way in which it will even out, but I'll take it.

OP, you're absolutely right. It's far more expensive living as a single than a couple (in which all people are working). The buying rounds thing as a couple is ridiculous. Imagine going to a restaurant with 3 singles and a couple and the couple expecting to only pay 1/4 of the bill instead of two fifths!

Holidays are more expensive as a single person if you have to pay a single supplement. Or if you book a single room you often get the crappiest room in the hotel but pay comparatively more for the privilege. Loads of cheap deals on Wowcher etc are only for couples.

So because you couldn’t answer OP’s question with any logic, she is bitter?

Was she also bitter for having to pay for 2 drinks for a couple when they only paid for 1?

OP sounds like a great friend, you not so much.

Totally get what you are saying @Vlent

Couples:

• pay less tax as a % of their income as each individual receives the same tax free portion. An individual earning 40k will pay more tax than a couple earning 20k each
• rent, mortgage repayment etc are not based on head count/ per person. A couple does not require twice as much space as an individual
• utilities eg power, phone, water have a service provision component again it is not a per person charge. Tv, lights, oven, stove, fridge cost as much to run for two as for one
• holiday accommodation and packages are not half price for singles. Taxi, hire cars etc aren't charged per person
• food for couples isn't double the cost, as if you're single things go off before you can eat them (looking at you salad stuff!)

it was mostly because I couldn’t be bothered to explain simple math. And the OP has again made the assumption that 2 incomes = 2 same incomes, because if 1 of the couple makes significantly less than the first one then it is proportionally more for them to go out together. And depending on the situation it can be more expensive for two people to live together than for a single which will affect their combined discretionary funds.

But as I started down that road I figured out that the OP just wants to bitch. So yeah… chose to offer her good luck with that.

And for sure the OP’s a great friend who slags off her friends on the internet. But as they say maybe they aren’t all that into her and are using money as an excuse.

Your friends are tight & a bit stupid, I had this once when I was single and booking self catering accommodation with a couple who initially complained it was costing them double for a room.

I quickly pointed out the cost was per head, they were both earning a wage & the other alternative was I and another single person paid double as one person, which made no sense.

Potentially your friends are tight and stupid. Potentially you are misjudging their income compared to yours. If you earn double their joint income then you will have far more discretionary spend budget.

How odd! I would have thought for a lot of things being single/alone would make it more expensive. For somethings it’s different. Ie, family holiday we are a family of 5 so needs more plane seats/rent house or interconnected hotel rooms. It’s cheaper for single sister in law coz it’s just her so she only has one plane seat, standard size hotel room, etc. When you are comparing working adult to working adult the costs are the same surely as each individual wears the cost. It’s different with children as they don’t make a financial contribution.

But just because a couple are both working full.time it doesn't automatically mean they have the same level of disposable income as a single person. A couple could earn 40k between them, the single person could be on 60k and living in a 1 bed flat. It totally depends on circumstances. If

@saltinesandcoffeecups

Your argument is based on proportion of income but the OP is about absolute costs. So your argument is not valid.

You also say it can be more expensive for people to live together. Please can you give an example of how that would work.

OP
Re the drinks one. I would ask who you are buying the drink for, as you assume they are sharing.

Still makes no sense as we have no idea what OP earns relative to each individual member of her couple friends. For so we know she could earn less than all her friends. And either way, it’s still generally less expensive to be in the couple as the second income can make up for the lower income whereas a single person doesn’t have that buffer.

*so for all we know she could earn less than all her friends.

YANBU OP, your friends are either idiots or cheap as anything.

For those saying it depends on income levels, that is of course true. But then that means it's "we can't come on holiday as we're on a low income", not "there are two of us".

I've been with DH since we were teenagers, my best friend from school has always been single. Life is much more expensive for her.

it was mostly because I couldn’t be bothered to explain simple math. And the OP has again made the assumption that 2 incomes = 2 same incomes, because if 1 of the couple makes significantly less than the first one then it is proportionally more for them to go out together. And depending on the situation it can be more expensive for two people to live together than for a single which will affect their combined discretionary funds.

This still makes no sense. Why would it be more likely that it’s “proportionally more” for one of the couple (I think you just mean one of the couple may earn less than OP) than the other way round? OP might earn less than either of them. Or she might earn 20x their combined wage.

Either way all your point seems to be is that richer people have more disposable income. How is that anything to do with the individual’s relationship status?

Either way all your point seems to be is that richer people have more disposable income.

This. We have no reason to assume either party of the couple earns less than OP. Couples don't tend to always include 1 low earner? Op says they both work full time.

Maybe next time, just buy them one drink between them 😈

Drink rounds.
Presents.
Holidays.

IME they are the three areas where couples often don't cotton on how unbalanced it is with someone who is single.

Eg Christmas is coming up - when I will buy everyone I love a gift. In my immediate family that will be 6 gifts. I will get 3 in return as there are 3 couples.

I love them all so am not especially grumpy about this, but I don't think those in couples often realise that gift giving is twice as expensive when you are single.

Well I don’t know so much. My rent, tv licence is the same. But since my ex moved out the electric, gas, water, is less than half, food bill is definitely less than half. Maybe I’m more frugal than him. But it’s not that simple.
Buying rounds in pubs, holidays is different you all have to pay the same.

This reminds me of when I was just dating DH. I had to pay for a round. I ended up drinking 7 pints and half a bottle of whisky.
My thinking was if I'm sharing the cost I'm drinking the same as you lot.
I really enjoyed it but never again.
Your friends are CF get them told.

To the pps trying to argue differences in income. Try to look at it as two individuals going out not as a couple, there is a cost per person.

@saltinesandcoffeecups even if one person out of the couple earns 16k and the other earns 30k. OP could earn 25k (more than one person out of the couple). However 25k is still one income. Unlike the couple with a joint income of 46k.

Tbh it's obvious what you are saying is correct. I think it's an excuse what your friends are saying.