To think that not sleeping around when married isn't that big a deal?

[Janbohonut]

Just read an interview with Tim Minchin and he talks about how in his career he travels a lot, loves women, loves to flirt and has got really close at times, especially when women are literally shaking and in tears at meeting him, but then he realised his marriage was too important to throw away.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-11-07/tim-minchin-reassesses-comedy-approach/101564662

"You're away from home for a long time, you're jet-lagged, you're drinking. I think the times I got close to doing the wrong thing made me realise it wouldn't be worth it to blow my marriage... I'm away a lot and I am in a really flamboyant industry and I'm really flirtatious and I really like women."

And meanwhile his wife, who supported him as a social worker at the start, is sitting there having to listen to all this.

I mean, in most long marriages there have presumably been opportunities for both parties. Either you act on them or you don't. But I can't imagine a celebrity woman talking in front of her husband about how she loves men and loves to flirt and had loads of chances to cheat, but didn't. It felt like a gigantic humble brag.

That's horrific, I can only hope he's been that open with his wife and she knew he was going to talk like that

Have you seen him? Think it's unlikely he had many opportunities 🤣

What a strange thing to say. One of those things it is really best not to verbalise even if you do think it, Because it doesn't come out / doesn't come across very well.

Oblomov22 That's what I felt. I really hope she had a wild affair with the gardener while he was fighting off women.

It’s only the truth though. He’s countering the narrative that the only men who don’t cheat never had the opportunity to do so. He’s saying the men can’t control themselves excuse is bollocks. I don’t think there’s any issue with his wife hearing how he’s loyal. Yes it is not a big deal, but apparently when 1 in 3 married people DO cheat and they often make excuses like “you would too if you’d had the opportunity to” or “it’s the industry I’m in, I’m working away alot, tons of parties with groupies…it’s inevitable anyone would cheat”.

He’s exposing the weak excuses men have made for the rubbish they are.

He says he lives women? Ugh. No you like to have sex with women. If you liked women, maybe you'd have more respect for your wife. Can't imagine being married to such a person, how awful

Ew, no thanks !

What a nob head

He is almost 50 now, no one looks that great at his age.
But twenty five years ago he had the Australian long haired surfer boy look about him. I wouldn’t have kicked him out of bed.

He wrote and performed a song years ago about it, so I think she knew.

FFS if he got ‘really close’ to cheating he is likely to already have crossed a line. He thinks he is great for actually not doing?

Not cheating in a marriage is a basic. but I am going to assume his wife knows if he has said it in an interview and decided she is fine with it. Or within the next 6 months, it will be reported they have split.

I remember an ex telling me how he was such a good guy, because when he was married he met a woman at work and they were texting eachother for a while. Flirting and some sexual stuff. But then when she invited him over he called an end to it and told he was married. His point was that he was such a good guy, he could have cheated but didn’t. It was like he thought she should be grateful he didn’t actually have sex with the woman. He was really put when I asked how he would feel if his wife had been sending dirty texts to other men but not actually slept with anyone. Would he consider her a ‘good woman’? I, then, dumped him.

He said a lot more than that. He very eloquently put into words how, when everyone, EVERYONE you deal with thinks you’re shit hot, you start to think so too. And it’s easy to turn into an arsehole, in fact, it’s difficult not to. He saw he was vulnerable to fame, and made an active decision not to be a prick, and not just about infidelity. I like him.

Exactly

This is not new, btw. He withdrew from the celeb ‘life’ a couple of years ago now, and talked about it then. It’s just that one of his new songs is about it. His wife seems lovely and they seem like a really cool couple.

So he's been talking about the major achievement of not cheating on his wife for a while now?

How many mega successful musicians and performers who regular tour for months at a time to thousands of adoring fans and general adulation do you reckon stay faithful to their wives?

Klank no idea - not something I give much thought to. The ones that don't, though, generally just don't. And they don't talk about it either way.

He wrote a song about it- a good looking woman coming on to him and what a good boy he was went he went back to his hotel room on his own. I’ve been with a cheater and it sounds to me like at some level he’s psyching himself up to cheat on his wife.

He has been with his wife since there were 17 and met at university. One of his song is along the lines of if I hadn't met you someone else would surely do.

Not read the article but sounds like he is being honest about their relationship

I don’t think there’s much point in being up in arms that he’s been honest (though very much agree with the hope his wife didn’t have it sprung on her publicly).

While fidelity is a standard marriage vow, we know large numbers of people have affairs. Pretending people aren’t hugely tempted sometimes and failing to talk about what circumstances are most likely to lead to being tempted just makes infidelity more likely.

Ah reminds me of an argument with a guy once "I've never hit a woman, have I? I'm not in the pub all the time, am I? I've never been to prison, have I?" In the tone of 'what more could a gal ask for'. Men seem to be good at celebrating the bare minimum.

He has a general air of grubbiness. Could be the eyeliner.

I remember reading an article about him a few years back, around the time of Me Too, and thinking Reading this, I feel again.

I agree. I don't see anything wrong in what he said.

I've had conversations with my dh where I've told him that I came close to cheating. Nights out with the girls where I've had one too many drinks and an attractive bloke has been interested etc. I've admitted to him that I was flattered and tempted but ultimately turned the bloke down. He has also told me similar. I think it's part of being in an honest relationship. I'd feel like I'd done something wrong if I didn't tell him and would have been wracked with guilt.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with being open and honest about the fact that we are human and fallible and even the most loyal partner can be tempted from time to time. It's about whether you act on it that matters.

Have to be vague with this for obvious reasons but one of my very close relatives who is very well known constantly was in situations like this. He would literally have to fight some woman off. He never told his DW or anyone else about the constant attention he got. We would read and see it in newspapers but he would dismissive it as nonsense. He was the very loyal. Sadly his DW was not. So I do agree family don’t want to hear this stuff from the person mouth. Be respectful of others

He should be so lucky 😂
Now I have Dreamer, nothing but a dreamer in my head 😂