To think that not sleeping around when married isn't that big a deal?

[Janbohonut]

Just read an interview with Tim Minchin and he talks about how in his career he travels a lot, loves women, loves to flirt and has got really close at times, especially when women are literally shaking and in tears at meeting him, but then he realised his marriage was too important to throw away.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-11-07/tim-minchin-reassesses-comedy-approach/101564662

"You're away from home for a long time, you're jet-lagged, you're drinking. I think the times I got close to doing the wrong thing made me realise it wouldn't be worth it to blow my marriage... I'm away a lot and I am in a really flamboyant industry and I'm really flirtatious and I really like women."

And meanwhile his wife, who supported him as a social worker at the start, is sitting there having to listen to all this.

I mean, in most long marriages there have presumably been opportunities for both parties. Either you act on them or you don't. But I can't imagine a celebrity woman talking in front of her husband about how she loves men and loves to flirt and had loads of chances to cheat, but didn't. It felt like a gigantic humble brag.

How do you know?

This being Mumsnet, I was anticipating a poster coming along to advise she leaves him at once or at the very least gets her ducks in a row, makes sure she has her own bank account, checks for his second phone and hires a private detective.

Some would say the line " I love women" is to cover up that they're gay. I just think he's a bit of a tosser really.

And yet never had a kiss and tell or any whiff of scandal.

dont let the evidence stand in the way of a good slander will you?

Well someone has already accused him of gaslighting and you seem to be doing pretty well at MN relationship bingo yourself, so keep your card handy

Heard a song today where the premise was along these lines and I actually stopped to say if 'if your already considering it then your already guilty'.

If behind your wife/girlfriends back you deliberately go up to a woman to flirt with her and then get to the point where you might/could sleep together you dont get a pat on the back for stopping yourself, you already 'emotionally' cheated when you deliberately tried to pull someone else and stood there thinking how you could fuck her behind your partners back.

Its a proper creepy ass 'nice guy' move.

Last time I looked Françoise Sagan was a woman. 🤷‍♀️

I take his word for it.

@KilmordenCastle
I've had conversations with my dh where I've told him that I came close to cheating. Nights out with the girls where I've had one too many drinks and an attractive bloke has been interested etc. I've admitted to him that I was flattered and tempted but ultimately turned the bloke down. He has also told me similar.

You'll have to help me out, it must be my delivery. Same drunken conversation with the wife, I set the scene, facts straight "great looking girl, absolutely up for it, boobs a little bit bigger than yours, soft but really firm ..."

Garden shed turned out to be a less comfy place to sleep than I thought that night. Any suggestions as to how to frame my obvious chivalry will be gratefully received.

I agree that the tone comes off a little bit like he wants awards for not cheating, and I really don't like the song about this either. But to me that's just a small thing, I don't think it makes him an arse. I understand what he is saying. I got with my partner at the same age and monogamy is not... easy for me. I think I am pretty strong willed and don't cheat or flirt or even put myself in the position where I could, but in an ideal world I would have a more open agreement with my partner. That's not the world I'm in though, and I'm obviously far happier trading relationships with other people for my marriage. I can imagine that I would find it extra hard if people were throwing themselves at me and I was away from family for months. I think that's the most charitable interpretation - not that he is a good boy for not cheating, but that a marriage is worth more than casual sex - even if sometimes this is hard.

Pretty sure he's referring to Carl Sagan blossomtoes - that was the name that sprung to my mind and he was a scientist and author.

Good idea - cheating men never lie.

@mam0918, Tim seems to be talking about women approaching him, rather than the other way round. I doubt he’d be talking to his wife about these temptations, and writing songs about it if he was the one who had been approaching women.

This 'especially when women are literally shaking and in tears at meeting him'......really? A scruff with smudged mascara? I'd be at him with a make up wipe and a brush!!

This, exactly. He's hugely talented, and he seems to have a brilliant relationship with his wife. Did you actually read the interview/watch the videos?

And Francoise Sagan is a writer too. How on earth can you be sure? You clearly hate the man.

He definitely would have had women throw themselves at him. He's very talented and successful in certain circles.

His comedy genre is uncomfortably honest. He's said something along the lines of "marriage isn't about not being tempted by other people, but staying faithful despite this".

Good men can talk about the industry and these things being common, without talking about their ‘near misses’, because if he was a good bloke, their wouldn’t be any times where he’s got close to fucking another woman. It’s very simple.

there

So where’s your evidence he has?

there isn’t any. Why is your default position that he must be guilty of cheating?

in my experience those folk throwing around unfounded accusations are usually trying to hide a fault if their own.

you’re literally just slagging someone off and trashing their character with zero evidence.

how lovely of you

What a disrespectful dick head, I’ve never even heard of him

Well don’t let your ignorance stand in the way of uninformed criticism and judgement will you?

oh that’s right - you didn’t!

I'd rather be with a man who only read Shakespeare and Dickens than one who didn't read at all.
Anyway you sound excessively woke. People are allowed to have favourite authors (or composers or chefs etc) and just because their top 6 don't include ethnic minorities and women, it doesn't reflect badly on them.

There’s a few people on here who seem very over protective of poor old Timmy. What a poor lamb having to stay strong when faced with so many women. He really does need praises for not sticking his dick into every willing woman. 😂

And every single man I’ve known that said they love women has been a total dickhead. No exception.

I don’t have any - but I’m not the one who said he did or did not do something. You did.