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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH taking toddler on day trip not the supermarket as he said

153 replies

Daytrip2 · 12/11/2022 14:14

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not, but I am feeling pretty hurt to be honest.

So I've had a really horrible time recently. Wave after wave of crisis. Big stuff. And throughout it all I've been pretty much 100% left to deal with childcare, which has been really tough. DH works away at times, can't be helped.

So this morning DH says he's going to take the baby for a walk in the pram down in our local village, to give me some space (after I'd asked him for some time to myself).

10 minutes before he leaves the house - our dog has broken into the bin. He's fuming about it. He says - right I'm going to buy us a new bin, where should I go? I said supermarket - get one from Argos. We're in a bit of a fight at this stage because he has properly lost his ragged about the dog getting in the bin and I'm saying - I really don't need this right now. So he's like - oh so it's fine when you have a rant but not me. Maybe important because when he left it was on an argument. But anyway off he goes with the baby and in the car because he's going to the supermarket now.

I come upstairs to rest and about an hour later I get a text that he isn't in the supermarket buying a bin and he hasn't gone into our local village for a walk. He's gone to a picturesque town centre - think somewhere like York. A good 45 minute motorway drive away. Somewhere we've been planning to visit but haven't done so yet.

And I'm just sat here so hurt by that. I've had such a rotten time of things, and it's like I'm being punished for asking for some help. I wanted a couple of hours to myself but now he's taken her off for the day and had he said - 'come on luv, let's all get dressed, how about we go into 'York' for the day' - I would have said, 'alright yeah that sounds lovely'. That would have cheered me right up and would have been a lovely way to spend Saturday.

Feels like a slap in the face. When I said on the text back to him - I would have liked to have done that. He replied, it wasn't on purpose, she was napping so he kept driving and that's where he ended up.

Maybe I'm just being unreasonable. Feeling really depressed at the moment and quite sorry for myself that I always get the shit end of everything.

Moreover, he left at 11am and it's now 2pm - so not the hour out of the house he originally said and I have no idea when he's planning on coming back. He has to respond to my text asking.

I'm just sat here, alone, sad, depressed not knowing when they will be back. I just wanted an hour to myself and instead I get this.

OP posts:
pinheadlarry · 12/11/2022 20:31

luxxlisbon · 12/11/2022 20:17

How does it sound vindictive at all? He literally said he was driving because the baby was still sleeping and that’s where they ended up when OP said she was upset about where he went.
Based on the OPs post the minimum time he spent there was at least 1.5 hours and probably longer since he hasn’t arrived home 3 hours after leaving so where are you getting the idea that he didn’t even stay long and specifically left early because the baby was sleeping?

It was vindictive because he knew OP wanted to go there and he was angry at her (for no reason) when he drove there
If the baby was sleeping what was even the point of going there?
Only for him to go straight home again..

WarrenGRegulate · 12/11/2022 20:50

Oh OP, I would have been so upset; although his message to you and subsequent return would likely have placated me a bit. Much love and I hope you are having a lovely evening xxxx

Onnabugeisha · 12/11/2022 22:45

pinheadlarry · 12/11/2022 20:31

It was vindictive because he knew OP wanted to go there and he was angry at her (for no reason) when he drove there
If the baby was sleeping what was even the point of going there?
Only for him to go straight home again..

It’s York, and it’s a 45min drive. Most people have longer commutes to work. It’s nothing special FFS, I do not understand the “OP wanted to go there” whinging.

Its not like he’s driven to the Chunnel and then on to Disneyland Paris.

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