Page 8 | Husband converted to Islam

newbookonshelf · 2022-11-12T08:46:31+00:00

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/11/2022 13:50

Againstmachine · 12/11/2022 13:38

There's a negative connotation because of the media but if he follows Islam properly, he will be an even better husband, father, son, brother, colleague and so on

Absolute rubbish, so you are literally saying Muslims are better than everyone else.

If someone is shitty they are like that irrelevant of any religion. But some people use religion to be shitty to women and I'm not just talking about Islam here.

To be honest this post feels like a journalist fishing but that's just me.

They are not saying anything of the sort. Anyone who signs up to an ethical or moral code should become more conscious of their daily actions and interactions and could become a better person be that Muslim, Buddhist, Christian or any one of a dozen other religions or non religious ethical codes.

Whether they do become a better person or a tedious zealot depends on the individual.

C8H10N4O2 · 12/11/2022 13:52

lawofselfish · 12/11/2022 13:08

Are you ginger? You seem offended.

I am ginger and I noticed the phenomenon a few years ago which lead to me googling, where I saw other people had also noticed.

It's definitely a thing, deny it or not.

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Its breitbart.

BorisJohnsonsHair · 12/11/2022 13:53

babba2014 · 12/11/2022 09:32

The best person to talk to is your husband or perhaps any Muslims he has met that led him to become a Muslim eventually. Perhaps he became a Muslim without the people. Only he can give that information. But if there are people, talking to them will bring ease to you.
As a Muslim, I don't see it as a big deal as others are here. There's a negative connotation because of the media but if he follows Islam properly, he will be an even better husband, father, son, brother, colleague and so on.
Most people ask themselves, what is the purpose of life? And if he has found that in Islam then it may be because of the Qur'an being the only unchanged book. It could be because of the descriptions of the hereafter. It could maybe be the focus on performing Salat 5 times a day. Only he could give you those answers.
How close are you both? What is your relationship like?
He probably has some good backing especially if he is not forcing it on you.
I'd sit and ask him questions as you won't really get positive replies here unfortunately.
We wouldn't accept that a phone is made without a creator yet nowadays the idea is pushed that the best of creation (humans) have been made without a Creator. If your husband thought this then he had a handful of religions to choose from and ended with Islam. Ask him his reasons.
I met someone whose husband had converted to Islam. She then went to find out what Islam is for herself and eventually became Muslim too but she is much more strong in her faith than he is.

"he will be an even better husband, father" etc. What absolute bollocks!

Againstmachine · 12/11/2022 13:55

*They are not saying anything of the sort. Anyone who signs up to an ethical or moral code should become more conscious of their daily actions and interactions and could become a better person be that Muslim, Buddhist, Christian or any one of a dozen other religions or non religious ethical codes.

Whether they do become a better person or a tedious zealot depends on the individual.*

Some of most hateful people I know are religious, as you say "should" but in reality thats not how it works, the person who posted stated it as if it was a fact that was my issue.

Againstmachine · 12/11/2022 13:56

@BorisJohnsonsHair

My feelings exactly.

JuvenileEmu · 12/11/2022 13:58

Blueberry111 · 12/11/2022 10:44

As a Muslim here, married also to a Muslim who is very religious. Some positives from my husband based on his belief of Islam. He's never raised his voice at me, if we have a disagreement, he actually goes silent ...which makes me more annoyed actually 😑. I remember we were having a disagreement once about where to place furniture and I was okay fine do what you want...i came back it was where I wanted it and he said yh you should thank him(pointing to a book about the Prophet Muhammad - indicating you should your wife with love). He is a wonderful father and melts my heart when he plays and interacts with his children. Helps out around the house. Encourages me to gain more knowledge and supports my career. He gives..enormous amounts in charity - thousands per year to be specific. He has such good morals that I've honestly never met anyone like him - even my own brothers are no where near his level when it comes to morality and everyone speaks very high of him yet he's so humble. He wasn't always like this, he was quite different before he became religious - said he was very materialistic. In his spare time he actually just reads books about Prophet Muhammad's life, so is very much inspired by him and his companions. The way he treats his own parents and siblings with kindness is amazing, I've definitely learnt a lot from him. Very blessed to have him in my life. Hope this is something positive for you to look forward to OP if he truly follows Islam because of the teaching rather examples of others.

But you see this as positive from the perspective of a religious person yourself. I'm an atheist and I would not choose to be in a relationship with a man who based his treatment of me on a religious text and who spent his spare time reading books about the religion. To me those are negatives. My perspective.

Redkettle · 12/11/2022 14:00

My husband can believe in whatever he wants as long as it doesn't change anything and he doesn't shove it down my throat.

Hellno44 · 12/11/2022 14:01

Islam really is a way of life. If he is on his own personal journey that's one thing but I do imagine it will have an impact on his family life if he follow the religion religiously ( properly/ strictly). Has he read the Koran? Is he attending a mosque?

Fizzadora · 12/11/2022 14:02

KettrickenSmiled · 12/11/2022 11:12

We wouldn't accept that a phone is made without a creator yet nowadays the idea is pushed that the best of creation (humans) have been made without a Creator.

I can accept that billions of people believe in a Creator, for reasons which are perfectly valid to them.
I can't accept that humans are "the best of creation."
In a few tiny centuries, we have despoiled the earth. We wage war, we brutalise other species & each other, we cannot act cooperatively to ensure that all of us can live in optimum comfort & security, but allow a minority of psychopaths to resource hoard & power-hog. We have the intelligence & skills to work together to keep the planet & all its life in balance, & we just don't do it, because we lack collective vision & trust.

Surely we can be nothing but a source of major disappointment & shame to any Creator?

Quite agree

OneTC · 12/11/2022 14:02

OP says they're both kind of believers already, so this is not the same as waking up to find your deeply rooted athiest husband has suddenly found god

Toddlerteaplease · 12/11/2022 14:04

Would people be considering dumping him etc if he had become a Christian?

BellePeppa · 12/11/2022 14:05

mamabear715 · 12/11/2022 13:12

I'm amazed by how many say it would be a dealbreaker.. this is the man you LOVE?
I live in a multicultural area, people are good whatever their religion..
I'm Christian myself but believe there's only one God known by many names. He loves us all. Simples! That's my view, anyway.

It would be a deal breaker if he imposed his religious beliefs on me, whether it was Islam, Christianity, Judaism, whatever. I couldn’t live with someone, anyone, whose religious beliefs impeded on my life (eg attire, food, pastimes, etc).

scaredoff · 12/11/2022 14:05

It would be a dealbreaker for me. Not just because I'm atheist, as pp have said, but because Islam is such a deeply sexist ideology that it would contradict many of the most basic assumptions of how my partner and I relate to each other. And also because of other offences to my fundamental values in Islamic scripture, such as homophobia and anti Semitism.

I don't buy the idea that liberalism means accepting all teachings no matter how offensive or intolerant. Words have meanings, and if someone's going to follow a book whose words say it's OK to beat your wife, they can go and find a wife who doesn't mind being beaten. Not me.

Maybebabyno2 · 12/11/2022 14:06

I wouldn't be able to continue the relationship as he would have to have had a complete brain transplant to convert to any religion, Islam/Judaism/Christianity etc.

MrsThimbles · 12/11/2022 14:08

One thing that really stands out on this thread is the widespread prejudice against the perception of a Muslim woman

Yes. I agree. But can we really blame people for not having in depth exposure to women in Islam?

C8H10N4O2 · 12/11/2022 14:08

Againstmachine · 12/11/2022 13:55

*They are not saying anything of the sort. Anyone who signs up to an ethical or moral code should become more conscious of their daily actions and interactions and could become a better person be that Muslim, Buddhist, Christian or any one of a dozen other religions or non religious ethical codes.

Whether they do become a better person or a tedious zealot depends on the individual.*

Some of most hateful people I know are religious, as you say "should" but in reality thats not how it works, the person who posted stated it as if it was a fact that was my issue.

And I know some pretty hateful and authoritarian atheists and some deeply thoughtful and considerate religious types - anecdata proves nothing.

What I would be asking first is what kind of Islam - both theologically and culturally? There would be a world of difference between a partner coming home and saying they were joining one of the semi secular Quaker groups versus saying they had signed up to the Westboro Baptists.

There are hugely different faith branches and cultural practices in every religion, whatever the DM and others like to portray.

ilyx · 12/11/2022 14:08

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 12/11/2022 14:09

Toddlerteaplease · 12/11/2022 14:04

Would people be considering dumping him etc if he had become a Christian?

It depends on what type of Christian just like a lot of us are saying it depends on what type of Muslim. (I am a lapse Catholic married to a Muslim)

I couldn't be married to a man that tried to impose a ban on contraception for religious reasons, for example. He's not the one who faces the risks of multiple pregnancies.

hford19 · 12/11/2022 14:10

Hmmm... Lots of comments on this thread that clearly come from a place of fear and prejudice. The fact that someone saying they believe in X god has some commenters advising they would walk out of the door goes to show how far reaching Islamophobia is in our society.

I'm an Ex-Muslim. I left because I no longer believed. I saw a lot of extremism in the community I was raised in and I'm happy to be out.

But, and it's a big one, I know many Muslims, converts included, who are much more relaxed. There is definitely a more modern, spiritual approach to Islam that a lot of people are adopting these days and there is no reason to believe your husband might not be one of them. I have many Muslim friends that drink alcohol, celebrate Christmas and date non-Muslims. Islam is more about their relationship with God than their relationship with other people.

So please don't take some of the bad advice people have offered here, much of it that is based on a lack of compassion and respect. Don't break up your marriage based on prejudice. See how things go, try to understand what being a Muslim means to him. Will it impact your life at all and if so, how? Or is this a phase that will actually just run its course?

BellePeppa · 12/11/2022 14:10

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 12/11/2022 13:41

One thing that really stands out on this thread is the widespread prejudice against the perception of a Muslim woman.

So many ignorant comments about how badly Muslim women are treated.

Do any of you stop for a moment to realise you are part of the problem by perceiving all Muslim women as one?

Is it really such a difficult concept to understand that in every community and culture some people will treat women badly and others won’t?

After all the threads on the relationship boards talking about how badly British men are treating their British wives - no one goes around saying ‘oh I’d hate to be white British, their men just cocklodge and cheat’ - somehow here people manage to understand that these are individual situations.

Yet you refuse to apply the same logic to Muslim men and women?

I will tell you what one of the hardest things about being a Muslim woman is: the repeated encounters with the (usually white British) woman with a superiority complex, who assumes and behaves as though we are somehow oppressed, and refuses to understand that she should see each of us as an individual, despite demanding that right for herself.

Do some authentic research. Islam was the first to give women rights and honour them, centuries before the west, and continues to do so. If you don’t agree with the way of life then that’s your choice, but don’t patronise those of us who do choose it, our choices are just as valid as yours.

Can you not be British and a Muslim?

OneTC · 12/11/2022 14:12

BellePeppa · 12/11/2022 14:10

Can you not be British and a Muslim?

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Eh?

IheartJKRowling · 12/11/2022 14:12

Toddlerteaplease · 12/11/2022 14:04

Would people be considering dumping him etc if he had become a Christian?

I would dump him if he became a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Zoroastrian or a Jedi. He could worship Odin, God, Satan, Quetzalcoatl, Osiris or Ares and he would still be out of the door. The name of the religion is irrelevant.

Unbelievably some of us manage to lead fulfilling lives where we contribute to society and do no harm to anyone without having to resort to stone age and medieval beliefs in deities and demons.

BellePeppa · 12/11/2022 14:13

tenbob · 12/11/2022 09:45

You can’t care very much about people around you if you see someone changing dramatically and think ‘so what’

it’s a shame you would be so ambivalent to seeing someone struggle

A lot of people (me included), the ability to believe in religion shows a break from reality and indicates a detachment from their previously held moral and intellectual beliefs
i would worry what has motivated this, whether they were under the influence of someone and/or unhappy enough with life to make sure a dramatic change in themselves

Just like if a tee-totaller suddenly developed a drinking problem or an avid exerciser started being totally sedentary and binging on junk food

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I don’t think they meant ‘so what’ as in who cares but in ‘so what happens if ..,’

Squeezita · 12/11/2022 14:13

I will remain non religious but I'm not an atheist, it seems atheists have the more extreme view.

I agree with this, OP. Religious people tend to be live and let live whilst atheists are belligerently offensive to anyone who believes in a religion.

You have your head screwed on, do your own thing and don’t let people here seed doubt and distrust between you and your husband.

JennyJungle · 12/11/2022 14:15

That would be divorce for my relationship.