Husband converted to Islam

[newbookonshelf]

What would you make of this? Not sure what I'm asking. He's trying to find himself I suppose. We're all looking for meaning in this world. I've thought about religion many times, but just not sure what to make of it right now.

Thank you @chakra1 that is really worrying but helpful.

I really think you have bumped into an Islamaphobe under the name of steakart. This poster has knowledge about Islam and is treating it like ammunition. I am not a scholar but the information that is being quoted by this poster needs context and only a knowledgeable unbiased person can give you that. Preferably a Muslim.

Please contact solaceuk.org this is safe place for females that convert to Islam. But I believe they can answer your questions from your husbands perspective as this group was founded by a lady that converted to Islam also. And I think at this moment for your marriages sake - you do need to understand your husbands angle. You definitely don't need anti - Islam drivel being poured into your head. Hopefully you'll find some guidance here. And hopefully it'll start a discussion for you both - one where he can understand your concerns too

Zoom back into the situation you are currently facing. You're not wanting to understand the whole religion of Islam.

All the best. Xxx

OP, you can read the Quran for yourself. You don't need it explained. There is a section about cattle; there is a section about women. You can make up your own mind.

Is your daughter primary or secondary aged? I would be concerned about the way his religion could affect his parenting of a girl, in a way I wouldn't be concerned about a sudden conversion to Christianity doing so unless he had declared a Jehovah's Witness.

Expecting modest dress which is indicative of thinking women are tempting men and putting the onus on women to not 'tempt' them and being responsible for men's behaviour, rather than on men controlling themselves and being responsible for their own behaviour.

Many religions think this of course but the dress code thing is a very clear indicator of those sort of beliefs about the sexes and I can imagine things like that are going to be a focus for him if he remains Muslim, especially with a girl.

It’s no different to what Xenia explained about being welcomed into the Catholic Church. It’s a cause for celebration. Good things, a marriage for example, are celebrated. This is no different.

I don't have time to read a whole quoran, I have a job and a child and I'm not interested either. I'm not doing that, plus I don't speak Arabic. I could never subscribe to a religion for that very reason, I cannot rely on the translations. It's just a no go for me based on that. Unless I understand it completely how can I let it guide me?

It's not though because we've discussed that and I've made it clear that his religion is not our religion and never will be.

It's a waiting game for us now. I hate limbo but it is what it is.

I'm getting increasingly frustrated about it to be honest but need to just leave it with him for now or I will be the bad guy for pressing him on it.

But I know one thing, my child is not a Muslim neither is any future child and neither am I and never will be.

There’s a lot of misinformation on this thread. Conversion of one spouse to Islam is not an automatic Islamic dissolution of the marriage. The marriage remains recognised in Islam.

In an Islamic country where shariah is practiced for example OP could use it as grounds for seeking divorce. Or they could both remain married.

Asking people who think they know everything about Islam from what they’ve seen in believe from a very biased, racist, Islamophobic media ends with this kind of ‘advice’.

OP i think what Chakra1 is trying to tell you is that the truth is there in the words in the book.
If someone asked me to read an original text I would prefer to do that rather then get someone elses interpretation on it.
The quran has been translated by many websites.You can read the parts about what it says women on different websites and then draw your on conclusions.

It's not though because we've discussed that and I've made it clear that his religion is not our religion and never will be.

Sorry I probably wasn't clear, I know he wouldn't be successful in making her dress 'modestly' as you're there to support her having autonomy and remaining true to her own self, not being influenced by anything she doesn't believe in.

But the potential pressure and attempts to push her to do things like dressing 'modesty' would cause huge tension and anger me as the concept is based on what I see as sexism and making women responsible for mens behaviour.

That's just one example but I can't see how his religion wouldn't affect his parenting, even if he says now it won't, even if he isn't successful in what he wants. The attempts would be deal breakers for me.

That's something I would be really worried about.

Leave

newbookonshelf, yes I do understand that, but it really doesn't take that long to read. Your husband presumably can't read the original scripts either - but it didn't stop him. The section about women won't take long to read at all - I could have read it while I'm on MN this morning. At least it gives you a way in and your can see for yourself. Otherwise, how will you even know what questions to be asking your husband as he becomes more and more immersed by this faith? Knowledge is power. There is always questions of 'interpretation' with any religion, but don't let that put you off. 10 minutes reading of the section on women fairly much speaks for itself.

It’s quite funny seeing these anti Islam poster so desperately trying to make Islam look so evil to op with their copy and paste quotes, she’s not the one you need to try to convince her husband has already converted. You can smell the islamophobes, I highly doubt they’d be finding all the dodgy quotes from other religions (yes there are many if you want to go down that road) the way they’re doing so with the so called Islamic ones with such, ‘passion’! Anyway there are many balanced views here leaving things open to OP to decide how much she wants to be involved not with the religion itself but to try to see what is going on in her dh’s head. My advice is if you start off with the anti Islamic stuff in conversation you’ll push him away further, if you’re okay with that that’s fine but it seems you want to keep the relationship as normal as possible so best to keep communication open so you know what type of islam he’s really interested in and take it from there. These people aren’t in your relationship remember that.

And everything steakart is quoting is lies and wrong whether they’re doing it maliciously or not.

prayer are invalidated by an adult walking across the front of anyone praying, you have to pray again.

dogs saliva is considered unclean and you have to wash the area and bathe (if you’ve touched the saliva) before praying.

the Prophet (pbuh), used to pray facing towards his sleeping wife, so as not to disturb her.

islam was not spread by the sword. There were wars and those happened in response to non Muslims taking arms against the then tiny Muslim population. Altho steakart it seems would like for the Muslims to have been massacred completely for only practicing their religion.

none of this matters to you OP. The only thing that affects you is how your husbands Islam is going to affect your life.

@magma32

From my side, there are plenty of awful and sexist verses in the bible that are part of the reason I find it unfathomable anyone can say it's not a sexist framework to live by. A few verses below. Please don't think that anyone troubled by a partner suddenly converting to Islam wouldn't also be troubled by them turning to another religion.

“And everything on which she lies during her menstrual impurity shall be unclean. Everything also on which she sits shall be unclean.” — Leviticus 15:20

“I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.” — Timothy 2:12

“If there is a young woman, a virgin already engaged to be married, and a man meets her in the town and lies with her, you shall stone them to death, the young woman because she did not cry for help and the man because he violated his neighbor’s wife.”
“[If the woman is not engaged], the man who lay with her shall give 50 shekels of silver to the young woman’s father, and she shall become his wife.” — Deuteronomy 22:23–27

But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die.” — Deuteronomy 22:20–21

“Wives submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.” — Ephesians 5:22–5

Why would family do it? As in convert? Or do you just mean to attend the ceremony/declaration.

If it’s the latter, even if the family are not on the same page, why wouldn’t they go to support you?

All religions (particularly Christianity, Islam and Judaism) are written by men for the purposes of men and how anyone can dispute this is astonishing really.

Yes, all Abrahamic faiths are patriarchial, and many non Abrahamic ones too- Bhuddism and Hindu win no awards in that stake either.

And everything steakart is quoting is lies and wrong whether they’re doing it maliciously or not.
prayer are invalidated by an adult walking across the front of anyone praying, you have to pray again.
dogs saliva is considered unclean and you have to wash the area and bathe (if you’ve touched the saliva) before praying.
the Prophet (pbuh), used to pray facing towards his sleeping wife, so as not to disturb her.
islam was not spread by the sword. There were wars and those happened in response to non Muslims taking arms against the then tiny Muslim population. Altho steakart it seems would like for the Muslims to have been massacred completely for only practicing their religion.
none of this matters to you OP. The only thing that affects you is how your husbands Islam is going to affect your life

It is all very well to disagree with me but do yourself a favour and read and study. Open your mind and learn to handle the truth. Show me one Muslim nation that is a haven of peace, prosperity and where women have freedoms and rights.

One other aspect of this OP - you say your husband and you are vegetarian for ethical reasons (I'm with you both on this, btw)! - how does he feel about 'halal' practices? Seems a very odd choice of conversion for a vegetarian / vegan?

My husband told me our marriage is not recognised under his God.

This is what happens when you rush something like this.

I echo all of what you've said yes.

Well my argument is it should have stopped him.

I think the only thing that matters is how it manifests in him and our family to be fair.

He believes, as I've been told my Muslims, that the Halal practise was devised at a time when industrial slaughter was not a thing, and it was a way to respectfully kill the animal, which is great and if you eat animals pre-food surplus then that's not morally wrong in our view.

We are vegan, for ethical reasons, which won't change.